Pastor: [after he finds out Lois was in a pornographic film] You are no longer welcome here, Lois Griffin.
Lois Griffin: But Father, I've been a member of this church for...
Pastor: Leave this house of God!
Lois Griffin: But I love the church. It's an important part of my life.
Pastor: Maybe you should have thought about that before you made a porn.
Lois Griffin: But father, I didn't mea... wait, did you say a porn?
Lois Griffin: Oh. Well that's kind of weird.
Lois Griffin: Well, I mean you gotta say you made porn or you made a porno. You don't say "made a porn", it hits the ear wrong.
Pastor: Oh, God, have I been saying it wrong this whole time?
[the altar boys nod]
Tom Tucker: Holy shit that just turned out, awful. Joyce, do your thing.
Joyce Kinney: Thanks, Tom. Pornography, the very word conjures up the images and red light districts, unprotected sex, and of course, the turn of the century pornograph machine.
Early pornographer: Whoahoho, Sweet Mary!
Joyce Kinney: But it seems pornography has found our way to its neighborhood. Yes, local housewife and church organist Lois Griffin has revealed to this reporter that she appeared in a pornographic movie back in the early 1980s.
Lois Griffin: It was back in a disgusting period known as the early 80s. It was a time when women would stand topless, high on coke, on the edge of hotel balconies while the curtains were billowing around them... I think there was actually more wind then.