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Please tell me how it's possible to formally review a film titled The Worst Movie EVER!. When a film claims itself to be so bad, even boasting it in the title, you've almost ousted yourself on critiquing anything, from the directing, to the acting, to the writing, to the plotpoints. I'm at quite a quandary; all I could do during the film is grin. It's so comforting in its stunning amateur geniality that it begs you to agree with its title. It's bad, sure, but it's bad in an avant-garde sort of style; a style that doesn't care if you're laughing at it or with it. I did some of both.
The film is something of a viral fad that originated not long ago when it debuted to a pathetic eleven dollars from one showing in a Los Angeles theater. That's right; eleven dollars from one ticket sale at one showing. If anything, it succeeds in making lesser movies feel like they grossed monumental numbers and is germane to its title. The person who bought the ticket, who has still yet to be discovered, is an incomprehensibly brave soul, who definitely deserves some sort of reward. His curiosity going into this film is likely incomparable to anyone else's.
Describing this plot will be something that will take true patience, but someone has to do it. It's a cacophony of small vignettes, akin to an anthology, concerning numerous characters in an interesting problem. Our main characters are Johnny (director Glenn Berggoetz) and Bobby (Stuart Goldstein), two "teenagers" (both men are definitely years past that time) who are rebelling against the system of parents and wandering through the time of adolescence, hopelessly confused and listless. Laduelia (Eileen Barker) and Angela (Christine Mascolo) are two soul-seekers, who prey on Petey (Berggoetz), a mentally-retarded man, who is Johnny's identical twin. Haidyn Harvey is Erica, a fourteen-year-old, pregnant cougar dating Bryce Foster's Brent, a kid not far off from her age, who enjoys sipping Kool-Aid out of a wine glass and talking beyond his years. And then there are two scientists, Dr. Coolman (Berggoetz, again) and Dr. Ramrod (Christopher Irvin) who spy on a large robot, who appears to be made using the most basic Adobe Flash program money can buy, named "Boltar," as he attacks the town.
This film is sure madness; a mess of epic proportions with so many odd features, amateur features, wooden acting, and loose ends that should technically derail the picture but, for some reason, do not. This is a charismatic film. One that doesn't allow itself to exercise more than what it is. It's silly, never boring, and embraces badness with a sense of lax, carefree fun.
Berggoetz tackles multiple roles, yet always seems to be on top of everything. He's especially effective when he's performing one of his several songs, that rarely rhyme and possess such a corny stiffness that the only response is to laugh and laugh hard. My personal favorite was "Hey, We're Scientists!," a song proving to the public that being a scientist isn't all fun and games, as there is much work to get to be one. But it all works out because, hey, they're scientists! It's pleasant to see all actors realize they're in a project that does anything but take itself seriously. Nobody feels like they're not in on a specific joke, and all are exercising within the bounds of parody. Because everybody seems to be giving their goofiest performance, not one person feels outgunned or all dressed up with no place to go. Everyone seems logically cast and acting appropriately (for the specific role, of course).
The Worst Movie EVER! is a slender seventy-five minutes, which is perfect considering that an upwards of ninety minutes on this material, lacking specific direction and continuity, would've began to drive itself into tedium and, worse, could've effectively deluded its humor. Berggoetz, who acts as an everyman on the production of this film, has provided me with one of the silliest movie experiences in quite sometime. So silly, quirky, and offbeat I'm still stunned it work so well. It breaks convention and delivers exactly what you're not expecting. Or may be because of the title. I still can't tell.
NOTE: To view The Worst Movie EVER!, and I strongly suggest you do, like the page on Facebook and you'll be sent a Youtube link where you can privately view the movie in its entirety. The Facebook page can be found here, https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Worst-Movie-EVER/139039002838788
Starring: Glenn Berggoetz, Eileen Barker, Stuart Goldstein, Haidyn Harvey, Bryce Foster, Christopher Irvin, and Christine Mascolo. Directed by: Glenn Berggoetz.
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