Edit
"Doctor Who" Closing Time (TV Episode 2011) Poster

(TV Series)

(2011)

Quotes

The Doctor: Yes, he likes that, Alfie. Though personally he prefers to be called Stormaggedon, Dark Lord of All.

Craig Owens: Sorry, what?

The Doctor: [indicating the baby] That's what he calls himself.

Craig Owens: How d'you know that?

The Doctor: I speak baby.

Craig Owens: Of course you do.

The Doctor: Stop crying - you've got a lot to look forward to, you know! A normal human life on Earth - mortgage repayments, the 9-to-5, a nagging sense of spiritual emptiness... Save the crying for later, boyo.

Craig Owens: A teleport? A tele... a teleport... like a beam-me-up teleport, like you see in Star Trek?

The Doctor: Exactly! Someone's been using a beam-me-up Star Trek teleport. Could be disguised as anything.

Craig Owens: A teleport in a shop? That's ridiculous!

[lights flicker in the lift as they teleport out of the shop]

Craig Owens: What was that? Was that the lights again?

The Doctor: [in a high voice] Yes, that's it, that's all, it's the lights.

Craig Owens: Why'd you say that like that?

The Doctor: Like what? Like, like, like, like what?

[dropping voice]

Craig Owens: Like that, in that high-pitched voice.

The Doctor: Just keep looking at me, Craig. Right at me. Just keep looking.

Craig Owens: Why?

The Doctor: Well, because, because...

Craig Owens: [starts to look behind him]

The Doctor: [grabs Craig] ... because I love you.

Craig Owens: You love me?

The Doctor: Yes, Craig, it's you, it's always been you.

Craig Owens: Me?

The Doctor: [takes out sonic screwdriver and puts arms around Craig] Is that so surprising?

Craig Owens: Doctor, are you gonna kiss me?

The Doctor: Yes, Craig, yes I am. Would you like that? Bit out of practice, but I've had some wonderful feedback.

[puckers lips while fidding with his sonic screwdriver]

Craig Owens: Doctor, no, I can't, I'm taken...

[pulls back, looks behind him, and sees an approaching Cyberman]

Craig Owens: Oh my God, what's that!

The Doctor: Or we could just hold hands if it would make you feel more comfortable!

Craig Owens: What is happening?

The Doctor: Well first of all, I don't really love you, except as a friend.

Craig Owens: What is that?

The Doctor: Ahhh!

[sonics the teleporter so they arrive back in the lift]

The Doctor: Quick reverse!

Craig Owens: Okay, what the hell just happened!

9 of 9 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Craig Owens: You've noticed something. You've got your noticing face on. I have nightmares about that face.

The Doctor: Nope! Given all that up. Done noticing things.

[the lights flicker]

The Doctor: Didn't even notice that, for example.

9 of 9 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

The Doctor: [talking with baby Alfie] No, he's your dad.

The Doctor: You can't just call him 'Not Mum'.

Craig Owens: Not Mum?

The Doctor: That's you. Also 'Not Mum', that's me.

The Doctor: [leaning to hear Alfie] And everybody is...?

The Doctor: "Peasants".

The Doctor: That's a bit unfortunate.

9 of 9 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

The Doctor: It's not his fault he doesn't have mammary glands! No, neither do I.

8 of 8 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

The Doctor: [playing with a remote controlled toy helicopter] It goes up, tiddly up! It goes down, tiddly down! For only £49.99, which I think personally is a bit steep. But then again, it's your parents' cash, and they'll only waste it on boring stuff like lamps and vegetables. YAWN!

The Doctor: Oh, you've redecorated! I don't like it.

Craig Owens: It's a different house. We moved.

The Doctor: Yes, that's it.

6 of 6 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

The Doctor: Robot dog - not as much fun as I remember.

6 of 6 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

The Doctor: [Said while trying to deactivate the cybermat] Don't worry, I have an app for that!

5 of 5 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Craig Owens: The Cybermen - they blew up! I blew them up with love!

The Doctor: No, that's impossible. And also grossly sentimental and over-simplistic. You destroyed them because of the deeply-ingrained hereditary human trait to protect one's own genes. Which in turn triggered a... a... Um. Yeah. Love. You blew them up with love.

6 of 7 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

The Doctor: [sonics the lift open] Goodbye. And here's the lift!

Craig Owens: It says it's out of order.

The Doctor: Not anymore. See? Here to help.

The Doctor: [pushes Craig inside]

Craig Owens: It says "DANGER"!

The Doctor: Oh rubbish! Lifts aren't dangerous!

3 of 3 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

The Doctor: [to a reprogrammed cybermat probe] Come along, Bitey!

3 of 3 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

The Doctor: Alfie, why is there a sinister beeping coming from behind me?

3 of 3 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

The Doctor: It must be shielded from meta-static energy, of course!

Craig Owens: Oh. Of course.

The Doctor: Don't worry, I have an app for that!

4 of 5 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

The Doctor: Hey. I'm the Doctor. I was here to help. And you are very, very welcome.

4 of 5 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

Contribute to This Page