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"Portlandia" Farm (TV Episode 2011) Poster

(TV Series)

(2011)

Quotes

[Cult leader Aliki is on his deathbed saying goodbye to his followers]

Aliki: My beautiful Peter.

[Peter gazes sorrowfully at Aliki]

Aliki: I'm gonna miss touching my Peter... washing my Peter...

Peter: I'm gonna miss you.

Aliki: [turning to Nance] Nance.

[Nance sniffles sadly]

Aliki: You can be a real bitch.

Nance: [weepily] Please don't go.

Aliki: Nance, you're being a bitch.

[Nance nods, still sniffling]

Aliki: Okay? It's so bitchy of you to ask me to stay. I gotta go.

[Nance shakes her head no]

Aliki: Tell me to go.

[Nance more intensely shakes her head no]

Aliki: Don't be a bitch, Nance.

Nance: [weepily] Go. Go.

Aliki: Thank you, Nance.

[Nance nods]

Aliki: For dialing your bitch down a little bit.

[Nance nods]

Aliki: It means a lot to me.

[turning to followers he doesn't know by name]

Aliki: You three? You're nice people, I'm sure.

[closes his eyes and commences death rattle]

Nance: [shaking her head no, whispering through tears] Do not go.

Aliki: [snaps out of it and looks at Nance] You're being a dumb bitch.

[resumes death rattle]

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Jason: Portland's a city where young people go to retire.

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Book Store Customer: You know what, I, I have to go to the bathroom again, I've been here that long.

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Old Lady: So, where are you live?

Stuart: [hiding under the table] I'm with some room mates up on the north side. It's kind of a house, but it's kind of falling apart.

Old Lady: "It's kind of a house, but it's kind of falling apart."

Stuart: Yes, ma'am.

Old Lady: I think that describes your life right now, honey.

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[last lines]

Peter: [hurrying back in] Hey, Dana, do you still work here?

Waitress: Hi.

Peter: Hi, how are you. Ya, we actually decided against the chicken. We're gonna do the salmon. Thanks.

Waitress: Okay...

[starts to walk away]

Nance: Hey, you know what. Can you tell us a little about the salmon.

Peter: Yeah, we have like a million questions about it.

Waitress: Okay.

Peter: When you come back.

[Peter and Nance kiss]

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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