|Index||3 reviews in total|
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Good grief! I don't even know where to start on this. ZOMBIECHRIST has
to be one of... no, strike the "one of" - this was the absolute worse
movie I have ever seen and believe me when I say I've seen a lot of
poor efforts over the years. There was no continuity, no logical flow
of time, no reason for what occurred in the film to occur. The camera
work was jerky and utterly amateurish, the acting (pardon me I should
have written "acting" because there really wasn't any) was
cringe-worthy at best. It looked as if not a single person in the cast
had ever been in front of a camera before. There was a great deal of
way whacked-out parallels drawn between early stories of Christianity
and those of Rome, Greece and Paganism which didn't make any sense
whatsoever (unless you might be under the influence of some controlled
substance far stronger than alcohol.) I will give Bill Zebub (yeah,
that's the credited name - whatta laugh) points for getting a great
deal of fairly attractive women to be naked for pretty much the entire
film - even if they all did look like (a) hookers or (b) exotic
dancers. All these women had some sort of tattoos on them. Not little
cute ones, either. These were huge honking things which covered fairly
substantial portions of their anatomy. And speaking of anatomy, the
wholly gratuitous nudity was... more like a biology lesson than a movie
with unnecessarily long and lingering shots of their breasts or
crotches for no better reason than the cameraman *could* film this
stuff. This was almost, but not quite, pornographic in detail... this
film is definitely very close to X rated for that fact alone. Now, I'm
not against seeing a pretty girl naked but I was actually bored after a
very short time with seeing yet another naked girl run through the
woods or writhe around on the floor while some truly lame CGI (or
something) fire (or something) swirled around them. Which brings me to
the Zombiechrist character it(him?)self. Feh! Stupid. Poorly done at
best. From the looks of it, Zebub took a medical school skeleton,
covered it in dirty newspaper and red paint and operated it with one
hand while working the camera with the other.
Finally - the music. The film was heavily padded with quite a number of death metal tracks played in their entirety while the camera showed someone running through the forest (as often as not, naked). These sequences did not a darn thing to move the story forward - mainly because there really wasn't a story TO move forward. (Even so, I clicked the "spoiler" box more or less as a joke). For all intents and purposes, the film looked like an over-long death metal video made by a couple of crack heads with a few bucks and a camera.
Recommended? No, unless you've never seen a naked woman before.
Quotable lines? NONE
Anything to redeem this piece of scut from the bottom 10,000 worse films ever made? Yes, if only to show in a film school class as a prime example of how not to make a movie. Otherwise, NO
I rate it 6/100.
it should tell you something when you see the name of a movie and think there is no way this could be actually real, thats what i thought when i found this when looking for zombie land, and when i came to check out the IMDb page for it i saw it had an average of 2.3 stars. My first reaction was "thats impossible, not even asylum movies have that low a rating, nothing can be worse then an asylum movie" but as it turns out i was proved wrong. This movie has broken the barrier of my previous movie scale and made a whole new level of bad at the bottom. to start it off the sheer amount of nudity in this movie and the poor way in which it was used was very tasteless and only interesting if you have never seen a naked woman before. the acting( though calling what happened here acting is insulting to even the worst of actors) seemed to have never been on camera before, it was embarrassingly easy to see that the director had no clue what they were doing, but somehow he always seemed to find a way to get every woman in this movie out of her cloths at some point or another, and the story couldn't follow a single direction if you gave it a map, directions, a compass, and put it on the yellow brick road. At some points its downright insulting to anyone who Christian or catholic in faith, and i do recommend that if you are either to avoid this movie. The thing is, that even though this movie is bad, i found that it was so bad it broke right through the bottom of bad and hit funny. as soon as i saw the villain of the movie i started laughing and couldn't stop and almost ended in tears, the absurdity of every scene compounded on one another, the bad acting made me laugh even more, and every bad thing came together to make a horror movie into one of the funniest movies i have seen in a long long time. i don't even give this movie a 1/10, but i would recommend watching it to see if you find it as entertaining as i did
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
First Of All, Yes, This Is A Low Budget Movie, The Special Effects Are
Pretty Bad And The Acting Was Lackluster To Say The Least. But In
Defense Of The Movie I Will Say It Was Exactly What I Expected To See,
Scantily Clad Women, Horrible Special Effects, Bad Acting etc.
But On The Plus Side It Was Extremely Funny And (Gasp) Somewhat Educational. I Have Found That The Most Informed People In Regards To Religion Are Those That Don't Necessarily Support ANY Organized Religion. When You Look Past The Flaws, Minor Ones In My Opinion And Take The Movie For What It Is You Will Have A Great Time Watching The Film.
This Movie Was Not Meant To Be Taken Seriously In Any Way Shape Or Form, It's Actually Poking Fun At The Movie Industry, Among Several Other Things Which Seems To Be Bill Zebub's Trademark.
In Short I Would Like To Say That I Thoroughly Enjoyed The Movie And Will Watch As Many Bill Zebub Films As I Possibly Can. My Favorite Scene/ Line In The Movie Involves Zombiechrist, His Arm And A Certain Part Of The Female Anatomy. The One Liners Both Characters Deliver Were Freakin Hilarious.
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