Peep Show (TV Series)

Seasonal Beatings (2010)

Isy Suttie: Dobby

Quotes 

• Mark Corrigan : [unwrapping his Christmas present from Dobby]  Oh, right, yeah, the FlashFoward box set.

  Dobby : It's meant to be amazing. Shall we do it this week?

  Mark Corrigan : Uh, sure, it's just... we watched all the Losts and they were somewhat OK, and Heroes had some interesting themes, but also quite a lot of not-so-interesting themes, and Prison Break... by the end I very much felt I wanted to break out of the prison that Prison Break had become for us, and it's just... don't you think maybe we should... go out?

  Dobby : [disappointed by Mark's reaction]  Where to?

  Mark Corrigan : To... not the theatre obviously, but... the National Army Museum?

  Dobby : You'd rather go to the National Army Museum than stay in bed and watch FlashFoward and drink brandy? Are you bonkers?

• Dan Corrigan : Now, where's the cauliflower?

  Mark Corrigan : Cauliflower is not traditional, Dad.

  Dan Corrigan : [shouts]  CAULIFLOWER IS TRADITIONAL!

  [a very awkward silence falls upon the table] 

  Dobby : I don't know if it really is traditional, actually.

  Dan Corrigan : Could you not slip a muzzle on your woman, please, Mark?

  [Dobby's jaw drops. The silence continues] 

  Mark Corrigan : [voiceover]  I notice I'm not saying anything.

  Mark Corrigan : Ahhhh...

  Mark Corrigan : [voiceover]  Still not saying anything...

  [Dobby looks at him, waiting for him to say something] 

  Mark Corrigan : [voiceover]  Nothing coming...

  Dobby : [getting up]  You'll have to excuse me. Thank you, this has all been horrible.

• Mark Corrigan : Dobby, where do you see yourself in 5 years? I mean, for example, would you want to learn sailing at all? Or golf?

  Dobby : I wouldn't mind getting a strap-on and you and me spit-roasting Cameron for the Boden catalogue. Was that the sort of thing you have in mind?

  Mark Corrigan : [voiceover]  She is great. But where does it end? With us sailing the Caribbean, checking our pension pot online? Or much more likely trying to scrape a living on pub quiz machines from our vast knowledge of popular culture and bar snacks?