Barney Stinson: [Coaching Ted on how to get Punchy to leave his apartment] You are the weakest link, Goodbye. Punchy, the tribe has spoken. Please pack up your knives and go. Your work of art didn't work for us. Your time's up! I have to ask you to leave the mansion. You must leave the château. Your tour ends here. You've been chopped.
Ted Mosby: Okay, yeah I know...
Barney Stinson: You've been evicted from the Big Brother house. Your dessert just didn't measure up. Sashay away. Give me your jacket and leave Hell's Kitchen. I'm sorry, you did not get a rose. You have been eliminated from the race. You are no longer in the running to be America's Next Top Model. You're fired. Auf Wiedersehen.
Barney Stinson: SCIENCE! There is an 83% correlation between the times men wear boutonnieres and the times they get laid. Think about it, proms, weddings, grandmas funerals... Thanks for the redhead Nana. The everyday boutonniere, by Stinson.
Robin Scherbatsky: Aaaand nope!
Robin Scherbatsky: [Robin has had enough of Lily's baby talk and lets everything out when Lily utters one word too many] Oh my God, you're not even pregnant yet!
Lily Aldrin: What is that supposed to mean?
Robin Scherbatsky: It means that a fertilized egg has not yet attached itself to the lining of your uterine wall. You see? I read your Facebook updates. It's like, it's all you ever talk about Lily, and I'm sick of it!
Lily Aldrin: Well guess what, I got some good news. When that baby comes, you don't have to see it. In fact, you don't have to see me, this whole friendship thing? Done.
Robin Scherbatsky: [to Lily] Look, I hate most babies, but your baby; I'm going to love that kid so much. I'm going to pick it up and everything.
Barney Stinson: [about the show Robin did as her teen pop-star alter-ego Robin Sparkles; "the Space Teens] Space? Teens? Is this a porno?