Last episode in Miami, everybody. Last call for drinks and grenades.
Pauly D. explains that the housemates will be taking a road trip to the Florida Everglades to see "crocodiles, alligators, whatever you want to call them ... we're going to check this place out." Moments later, the gang is speeding through the glades -- and spot a giant alligator. Snooki SCREAMS! Later, the group is attacked by insects. "Bugs in the Everglades are huge," The Situation says. "They're about the size of Snooki."
For lunch, the Jeresey natives stop at a roadside restaurant and eat frogs. Or, rather, The Situation eats frogs. Everybody else -- especially JWoww and Ronnie -- are absolutely disgusted. On the drive home, The Situation asks Ronnie to stop so he can throw up. "Everything come out alright?" Pauly D. asks. It's the revenge of Kermit.
Back at the house, Pauly D. and Vinny decide to take their girls out for dinner one last time. Unfortunately, Ramona is late ... AGAIN. He stares the phone. Finally, Ramona calls and says she is almost ready. "You would think I wanna go out, I wanna party, I wanna pop bottles, bang this girl and that girl," Vinny says. "All I wanna do is take this girl on a date." It's almost sweet. At dinner, they discuss the possibility of a long-distance relationship. Then they kiss and hug goodbye. No smooshing!? Guess not.
Ronnie and Sammi, meanwhile, have an awkward dinner. "Let me make this clear to you: I'd like to be with my boyfriend at all times," Sammi says. Ronnie tells the camera that "Mr. Hyde" has reappeared. Ouch. The unhappy couple returns home where The Situation is anxious to hit the clubs. Ronnie and Sammi continue to fight at the club until Sammi apologizes. Suddenly, the mercurial pair is having a good time again.
In the meantime, Vinny is having a crisis of conscious. He is dancing with two women -- one of whom tells him: "You're gonna have the threesome of your life." So Vinny goes to Pauly D., who predictably gives him the green light. Of course, Vinny is thinking of Ramona. "When you actually have a good girl out there, say no to hos," Vinny says. Nice guy that he is, The Situation swoops in to take the ladies off Vinny's hands.
The next day, Snooki announces that she is cooking tacos for the house. She asks if Sammi wants to help, but Sammi says no. Snooki gets angry, claiming Sammi never helps. So Sammi then offers to help, but it's clearly sarcastic. "She doesn't have girlfriends," JWoww says. "She doesn't know how to act with girlfriends." At dinner, The Situation announces that he is giving a trophy to the person who does the least in the house. Sammi immediately bristles and The Situation tells her to "chill out."
Snooki calls it the "most awkward dinner I've ever had in my whole life." But it's about to get worse. The group gathers in the living room to give out awards such as "most likely to get skin cancer" (Pauly D.) and "most likely to be a follower" (Vinny, according to The Situation). Vinny doesn't like it. JWoww then calls The Situation the "fakest" one in house. The Situation doesn't like it -- and demands an explanation. No one speaks.
Later, Snooki tells JWoww that The Situation, Pauly D. and Vinny said she was fake. Upset, JWoww tell The Situation that Pauly D. has been talking about him to Snooki. Upset, The Situation confronts Pauly D. Very upset, Pauly D. confronts JWoww, claiming that he said no such thing about JWoww or The Situation. Is everybody following this nonsense? Anyway, Pauly D. becomes more and more ANGRY. "You're all f***ing nuts!" he SCREAMS. Agreed. Eventually, it all comes back to Snooki, who admits that nobody -- Pauly D. or Vinny -- actually called anybody "fake" out loud.
Naturally, everybody is upset with Snooki, who is upset with JWoww for opening her mouth in the first place. "Now I'm the bad guy!" Snooki yells. "That's what you made me look like!" She continues to SCREAM and YELL about how she is not a s*** talker. Snooki then begins to pack her bags, claiming she just wants to leave. "Well, this is a great last night," JWoww says. The Situation, playing the peacemaker, then goes outside, picks up Snooki and brings her inside. Everybody forgives everybody. They're "family."
The next morning, The Situation cooks breakfast and the gang has a champagne toast. "No regrets," The Situation as he packs up a pile of phone numbers collected at the clubs over the past few weeks. Sammi feels good about her relationship with Ronnie -- "even though he hurt and embarrassed me and I know what he did." She also doesn't say goodbye to JWoww, who tells the camera that Sammi will understand who her real friends are when Ronnie inevitably breaks her heart.
On that note, we anxiously await next season.