- Shadow Overlord: Now then, is there any news on the Irate Gamer situation?
- Evil Gamer: Well, I'm afraid the situation there is unchanged.
- Shadow Overlord: But I thought you hired thousands of mindless idiots to troll his videos with hate spam.
- Evil Gamer: Well, I did, but let's face it, these idiots are so dumb they can't even make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich without ruining it.
- Shadow Overlord: So hard to find good minions these days.
- Shadow Overlord: Evil Gamer, you know what you must do.
- Evil Gamer: Oh yes, Shadow Overlord, I'll infiltrate Irate Gamer's house and steal his one-of-a-kind enhanced Magnavox Odyssey.
- The Irate Gamer: Holy crap, could there be a more annoying mascot?
- Kool Aid Man: [bursting in] Oh yeah!
- Evil Gamer: Just give me that Magnavox Odyssey before I pound you!
- The Irate Gamer: Yeah, right, pal, these things cost over a hundred bucks on eBay. So, get lost.
- [slams the door]
- Evil Gamer: Hey, don't you close that door on me. You get back out here and fight like a man, you overgrown piece of crap!
- Goro: [emerging from his room] What! What you call me?
- [the Evil Gamer stammers and then runs off]
- The Irate Gamer: But trying to locate some of these coins is a major pain in the ass. So until they actually prove to do something useful, like getting you laid, then the hell with 'em.
- The Irate Gamer: This game even has one of those annoying levels where if you accidentally fall off a ledge, you fall all the way back down to the beginning of the level, and you'll have to waste your time climbing back up again.
- The Irate Gamer: Can I help you?
- Evil Gamer: [incognito] Hey, buddy, did you hear the good news? They're giving away free Xboxes outside.
- The Irate Gamer: Really? Aw, sweet!
- [runs off]
- Evil Gamer: Ha. That was too easy. What a sucker.
- The Irate Gamer: Hey, Wilkins, say, you see anybody giving away Xboxes out here?
- Wilkins: Nope, can't say I have.
- The Irate Gamer: You know what? I think I've been hornswoggled.
- Wilkins: I'd say so there, neighbor.
- The Irate Gamer: That's weird, why's there a teddy bear sitting here?
- [picks it up, turns into a statue, ala Mario's Tanookie suit]
- Evil Gamer: [walks by carrying stolen Odyssey] Ha ha, sucker.
- The Irate Gamer: [turns back] What the hell? What just happened?
- Wilkins: I think it's time for my medication.
- The Irate Gamer: Why do game developers keep on making these stupid levels? I hate 'em, you hate 'em, everybody freakin' hates 'em. So for God sake, man, stop making 'em!
- Delivery Guy: I have a package here for Chris "The Irate Gamer".
- The Irate Gamer: [takes package] Aw sweet, I've been waitng for this. Thanks.
- [shuts the door]
- Delivery Guy: Hey buddy, that's a C.O.D. You still owe me forty bucks!
- The Irate Gamer: [playing Spot: The Video Game] Wait a minute. What the hell is this? This isn't a video game. In fact, it's more like a rehashed version of the board game Othello, which, coincidentally enough, they also made a video game out of. Boy, talk about a stupid idea.
- [shows off both the regular Othello board game, priced at $9.99, and the video game version, at $29.99]
- The Irate Gamer: Picking up the board game will cost you three times less.
- The Irate Gamer: Let's just move on to the second game called "Spot: The Cool Adventure".
- [plays the game]
- The Irate Gamer: Yeah, now this is more like it. This was the kind of side-scrolling action I was talking about. But if you're also expecting a cool adventure like the title implies, you'll be quickly disappointed. Throughout the game, your player can only do two things: pick up blocks to throw at enemies and collect these little Spot coins. I'm not even sure why we're even collecting these in the first place. Now, if you happen to die at any point in the level, you'll have to go back and restart from the very beginning. Bummer.
- Evil Gamer: Master, wake up. I have good news to report.
- Shadow Overlord: Ah, yes, the Evil Gamer, my loyal subject. Please lighten me.
- Evil Gamer: Well, I'm happy to tell you that we're one step closer to finding the missing artifact.
- Shadow Overlord: Ah, this is excellent news. I grow tired of waiting to be released from this mirrored prison. And once I do, I will take over this miserable planet.