- Mr. Nakamura: I wanna thank you all for signing up. I appreciate the enthusiasm. Maybe this year, we can end the Bennett High losing streak.
- Carl Montclaire: Bennett High hasn't won since 1967.
- [Jane looks at him weirdly]
- Carl Montclaire: I looked it up online. But hey, maybe it'll be a question.
- Mr. Nakamura: The first order of business is to nominate a captain.
- [Jane raises her hand]
- Mr. Nakamura: Jane?
- Jane Casey: I'd love to, but principal Malone won't let me captain more than 25 clubs.
- Mr. Nakamura: Serge?
- Serge Del Vechio: Serge is not captain of losing teams.
- Mr. Nakamura: Brittany?
- Brittany Hanson: I totally would! But... I don't want to.
- Mr. Nakamura: Alex?
- Alex Horatio P. Rodriguez: I can't be captain! I've never been on a boat. Plus, I get sea sick.
- Dr. Cassabi: [watching a screen with Porter] Looks like they're having a little trouble finding a team captain.
- Porter Jackson: Once again, Carl's gonna need a little push.
- [Porter makes a move with his head, and Carl's hand magically and very reluctantly raises in the classroom]
- Carl Montclaire: I'd like to nominate myself...
- [muttering to himself]
- Carl Montclaire: Porter...