When a virginal artist falls in love with a call girl, she turns out to be the chosen bride of the alien god Cthulhu. To save her, he must stop an ancient cult from summoning their god and destroying mankind.
David Phillip Carollo,
Nicolette le Faye
The tranquility of a small California hamlet gets ripped asunder after diner owner Mr. Kemper gets brutally murdered by a gang of vicious punks. Kemper's eldest daughter Lisa vows to get ... See full summary »
Your pregnant wife Linda has been captured by a ruthless scientist, who created a devastating virus. To rescue her, you have to fight through the old rotten experimental clinic, armed to ... See full summary »
Two pounds of pressure on a trigger pays really well... Ex special forces mercenary and now hardened criminal Vic, lives in a world of cons, double crosses, crooked cops, mob bosses and ... See full summary »
Mob Boss is used to getting whatever he wants; he runs Southend, gets all the best women including the gorgeous, sought after Porsche The Sherbet Lemon and has one million pounds in dirty ... See full summary »
David L.G. Hughes
Deep in the Pennsylvania hills, a cemetery for those who died during exorcism remains a dark secret for the church. In 1671, hundreds of men, women, and children suffered in bloody, ... See full summary »
Charlie and his little brother Simon live a secluded life, feeding off of the land and surviving on their own. The monotony of their lives remains unchanged: day after day, month after ... See full summary »
Andrew M. Jackson
Nothing 2 Lose
Performed by Ray Slijngaard and Anita Doth
Written & composed by Ray Slijngaard, Anita Doth & Robert Jan van der Toorn
Published by Rayvano Music/Warner Chapell/Peppermint Jam/Universal Music See more »
So bad, it's (almost) good again! Well, entertaining at least. For all the wrong reasons.
Although just about everything about this film is bad, it's doesn't necessarily harm the viewing experience. The struggling actors evoke sympathy rather than pity, the story allows for a nice game of plot hole bingo and the editing gives you a change to see what actors are doing while they wait for their cue! Every fight has people falling too early or waiting for the punch, every dialogue has moments where you can just see the attention slowly move from one actor to the other... wait for it... and there's the next line!
It's not often you see a bad guy with a lisp, or a Mexican standoff on bikes. The English speaking Dutch being played by Dutch speaking English (yes, that's our accent, deal with it) give the whole thing an absurdistic feel, and the fight scene where the former techno-house band The Party Animals suddenly show up is so superfluous it made me look up how to spell superfluous.
Which makes one wonder, it's strange how a film with so many redundant appearances of professional K1/kickbox/cage fighters can have such horribly choreographed fight scenes. But it does.
Really the only plus of the entire movie is Monique (Alison Carroll), with an actual British accent (thank God!) and a surprisingly convincing Tomb Raider appearance. If there were any rumours about actual actors in this film, it must've been about her. Other than that, the most desperate bunch of Dutch third rate actors has been summoned up, topped off by a (short) surprise appearance of Holland's most smirking comedian: Jörgen Raymann. You'll love it!
0 of 2 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful to you?