The Way Way Back (2013)
Owen: You disappoint me, kid. You're late. You planning on making a habit of this?
Owen: You're fired!
Duncan: But I just...
Owen: [sticks out his hand] You make a valid point. Welcome back. With benefits.
Duncan: How long have you been working there?
Owen: Oh, the park? Um, I've always been there. Ever since I was a small Cambodian child. Of course, that was after 'Nam. I was in the shit. Then I joined the circus to become a clown fighter. I know about 46 ways to kill a clown. I hate clowns. I'm kidding except for the part where I really do hate them.
Owen: [in mock seriousness] I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
Owen: Yeah, you're going to have to take off. I'm getting complaints. You're having way too much fun. It's making everyone uncomfortable.
[walks away from picinic table where he has been sitting alone]
Owen: Hey, hey! Whoa, whoa. I'm just kidding. Wow! That wasn't even my best stuff. Are you for real? Listen, I can tell you're in complete awe of our picnic table. It is one-of-a-kind, except for the 200 other ones here that are exactly like it. There is more to the park to be seen.
Duncan: How's the battle going?
Peter: [Playing with Star Wars action figures] Luke and Leia are hooking up.
Duncan: You know they're brother and sister, right?
Duncan: I wish I could stay here forever.
Owen: You're going to love the winters. They're pretty spectacular. Painting houses until it gets too cold, bar backing at some dive, talking to inanimate objects.
Duncan: I'm serious.
Owen: Yeah, so am I. There's a whole world out there for you, Duncan. Don't settle. Not yet.
Owen: Seriously, when's the last time you bought jeans?
Duncan: My mom buys my jeans.
Owen: Good. Always take things literally. How's that working out for you? Does that get you laid?
Susanna: So. You're a big fan of REO Speedwagon?
Susanna: Can't Fight This Feeling?
Duncan: Oh, no. My mom must have put that on there.
Susanna: Oh. And you just got to it and thought "what the hell?" I'm going to sing the shit out of it anyway.
Pam: Where were you Duncan?
Pam: That's a long time to be nowhere?
Duncan: Well that's where I was!
Owen: [to Duncan who is standing a few metres away] Duncan, please report to the Administrative Offices International. I have to announce it over the PA, as my voice won't carry that far. My throat suffered major damage during an intense make-out session with Lewis' mom. She has a forked tongue and a touch of the herpes.
Lewis: [sardonically] I don't have a mom. I have two dads. In your face.
Owen: [uncharacteristically lost for words] Well... faster conversations.
Duncan: [hugs Owen] Thank you. For everything.
Duncan: This is the only place I'm happy.
Owen: What's going on?
Duncan: I hate him.
Duncan: Trent. My mom's boyfriend. He said I was a three. He asked me what I thought I was on, a scale from one to ten. He called me a three. Who says that to somebody?
Owen: Someone who doesn't know you.
Duncan: I didn't want to have to answer! I shouldn't have to answer!
Owen: Listen to me. That's about him, man. That's all about him. It's got nothing to do with you.
Duncan: [vehemently] Yeah? How do you know?
Owen: 'Cause I know, okay? Don't worry about how I know. My dad was the same way. That's why I don't like patterns and rules. And that's why you can't buy into that shit. You gotta go your own way. And you, my friend, are going your own way.
Owen: Throw your bike in the back.
Duncan: [politely] No. You don't have to.
Owen: [chuckling] Come on.
Duncan: [hesitating] No, it's too much trouble.
Owen: Duncan, we've got to start having faster conversations. Throw your bike in the back.
[Duncan starts moving pink-colored girl's bike into back of car]
Owen: I'd help you out, but I got my hands on the wheel. Giving you a ride, I think that's enough. Where did you get that? The princess collection? Hey, easy, easy! The car's just the right amount of shitty.
Duncan: [referring to Pam's uncharacteristic behavior earlier] My mom doesn't smoke pot.
Duncan: Yeah. That's the power of this place. It's like spring break for adults.
Trent: [in overbearing tone] What... what don't you know? How you see yourself? You don't have any opinion?
[no response from Duncan]
Trent: I'm just asking. Pick any number, scale of one to ten. Just shout it out. Just say a number.
Duncan: [reluctantly] A six.
Trent: A what?
Duncan: A six!
Trent: I think you're a three. You know why I think you're a three? You know what would make me say that?
Duncan: [morosely] No.
Trent: You don't know? You have no idea?
Trent: You've got to speak up, buddy.
Trent: Since I've been dating your mom, I don't see you putting yourself out there, bud. Meeting kids your own age. And from what your mom tells me, you just seem content to hang around her apartment. Is that a fair assessment? You're just happy not do anything? 'Cause... damn, to me that is a three.
Steph: [removing shirt to reveal bikini top; Duncan happens to look in her direction] Ew! What are you staring at, perv?
Caitlin: Also, I need you to reorder more mats.
Owen: Did it.
Caitlin: Finish the work schedule for next week.
Owen: Did it.
Caitlin: Change all the filters.
Caitlin: You know I'm going to check all that stuff, right?
Owen: Then in that case, I didn't do any of that.
Caitlin: So I'm doing it.
Owen: It's called delegation. I read about it in a book about it.
Betty: Oh, Steph, don't you look cute.
[smacking her bottom]
Betty: That's exactly the kind of suit that got me pregnant the first time.
Steph: That's what I'm hoping for.
Betty: So how was your winter? Because our year was a challenge. My niece was raped in October.
Pam: Oh, my God!
Betty: I know. Not even food courts are safe.
[Steph watches Susanna kisses Duncan. Duncan finds a chance to pay Steph back for calling him perv]
Duncan: What are YOU staring at, perv?
Susanna: When I was younger, my dad used to bring me down here to do this all the time. He'd fill my head with all these useless facts about ghost crabs. Like, did you know they're omnivorous? Basically, they eat both animals and vegetables. My mom jokes, "Leave it up to your dad to be interested in a creature that goes both ways."
Peter: [referring to eye patch] My mom makes me wear it. She says my eye confuses people.
Owen: Well now you gotta show me.
[Peter removes eye patch to reveal askew lazy eye]
Owen: Hah, haw! Look at that thing! She wants you to hide that? Is she insane? I'd kill to have that eye.
Peter: [smiling] You're full of shit.
Owen: Seriously, you know how many bits I could do with that? Daring people to look me straight in the eye? Ahhh...
[making a funny face]
Owen: That thing is awesome.
[Duncan talks with Susanna. Owen and Roddy see him, and are impressed. Owen talkes via the PA system]
Owen: Please report to the Administrative Offices International. Duncan, please report to the Administrative Offices International. I have to announce it over the PA as my voice won't carry that far. My throat suffered major damage during an intense make-out session with Lewis' mom. She has a forked tongue and a touch of the herpes.
Lewis: [annoyed] I don't have a mom. I have two dads. In your face.
Owen: Hurry, hurry.
Duncan: [to Sussanna] Hold on a second.
[Susanna nods. Duncan approaches Owen and Roddy]
Owen: Please. Hurry up. This is pressing, pressing. Urgent. I can't tell you how pressing. You can't fathom how pressing. How's it going? What's up? Did you need something?
Owen: Who's that, big guy?
Duncan: Just a girl.
[Owen and Roddy chuckle]
Roddy: You stallion, you!
Duncan: I don't know. She's older than me.
[Owen and Roddy are even more impressed]
Roddy: So... what are you doing over here talking to us and not over there, sealing the deal with that cougar?
Duncan: [smiles] Well, maybe, Roddy, if you guys hadn't called me over here...
[Duncan returns to Susanna]
Owen: [talks on the PA system] Return to your lady friend. Duncan, please return to your lady friend. Please let her know that this conversation was entirely about her. In other news, this is very awkward for you.
Joan: Carry a laser down the road that I must travel!
Kip: Why would it be 'carry a laser'?
Joan: Because it's a song about outer space.
Susanna: I'd avoid the clams if I were you. They're one of the many casualties of my father's absence.
[then puts a single clam on his plate]
Duncan: Just because your mom will see my plate.
Susanna: Well, it's your funeral.
Caitlin: [angrily] What are you doing?
Owen: [laughing] What did I do? Having fun. It's all good. Nobody got hurt.
Caitlin: It's not all good! You can't do that. That is the reason that places like this get shut down.
Owen: [to teenager Malcolm] Is it me, or is she very sexy right now?
Malcolm: She's certainly got my attention.
Owen: Right... you're an impressive man. I want to be you when I grow up.
Caitlin: I'm so tired of this guy. Aren't you tired? Aren't you sick of yourself? I'm sick of it! I'm sick of who I am around you. I'm sick of having to be this person. I'm not this person.
Owen: Come on, I'm just messing around.
Caitlin: No! That's why...
[referring to their relationship]
Caitlin: that's why this doesn't happen. This is just a job now. I wish this wasn't just a job.
Owen: I'm sorry. I'm developmentally challenged. Like bad. Nightmarey, special episode bad. I'm sorry.
Caitlin: It's alright. I was... I was a little frustrated. I mean, I just planned on being here for one summer, you know. And then, next thing you know it's three years. It had a lot to do with you. So... I just don't want to look back and regret that it should have only been one summer.
Betty: So, do you think you will? Pam?
Pam: Do I think I will what?
Betty: Talk to the Keegans.
Pam: Oh, I don't know. I don't even know them.
Betty: Do if you want to, but just know that I'm mad at them. I don't even want to get into why.
[turns to go, but immediately changes mind]
Betty: They called me a See-You-Next-Tuesday. To my face.
Betty: Oh, and Bob, that's my ex-husband. Finally came out of the closet. Not a shock. Let's just say that, in bed, his favorite view was the back of my head.
Betty: Duncan, I thought you and Peter should hang out this summer. Lord knows he brought enough of those Star Wars dolls.
Peter: They're action figures! And they're classics!
Betty: [exasperatedly] Please.
Peter: They lose value if I take them out of the box. But we can still have awesome battles with them.
Betty: [to Duncan] He needs human contact. He's having far too many conversations with those dolls.
Lewis: [unwrapping farewell gift to reveal a large pool leaf-skimmer, then in sarcastic tone] Oh oh... Owen, you shouldn't have.
Owen: [sardonically] Yeah, I went to three different places in the water park to find that. You can use it to catch thunderclouds.