Dr. Gregory House: You know how you can tell there's nothing to be done? Chase showed up.
Dr. Robert Chase: I was here at 9.
Sam Carr: The reason I did the wrong thing was because I was trying to get you to do the right thing. Your mommy and your lamby both really need you to get better. So... do you think that... you could be brave... do the right thing?
Eve: I'll try.
Dr. Robert Chase: This isn't Cuddy. Your Jedi mind tricks won't work here.
Dr. Gregory House: [waves his hand in front of Chase] These aren't the droids you're looking for.
Lulu: They're gonna run out of air. I'm happy to kill my daughter, but I feel a little awkward about killing your son.
Dr. Chris Taub: [Sarcastically] Wow. The case of the really bad flu.
Dr. Gregory House: Hmm. Let's see did I leave anything out? Oh yeah - smallpox.
Martha Masters: ...Smallpox was eradicated over 30 years ago.
Dr. Gregory House: So were hush puppies. Have you checked out your local hipster coffee shop lately?
Dr. Eric Foreman: Smallpox doesn't exist outside of P4 labs and bioweapon plants.
Martha Masters: Vaccine will protect if you don't have it, and lessen the severity if you already do. But - but it's a billion to one so - we don't want you to panic or anything.
Lulu: How do I not panic with that information?
Dr. James Wilson: [to House] You were an idiot for lying to her in the first place. Don't be more of an idiot now. Say nothing to no one about anything - that includes me.
Dr. Gregory House: Would you ever be extra nice to a theoretical boyfriend, if you were really mad at him?
Martha Masters: I guess the only reason I would be extra nice is because I'm angry, and I just want him to go away so I don't have to deal with him any more.
Dr. Gregory House: [Thinking of Cuddy] You passive/aggressive bitch!
Martha Masters: You just asked me!
Dr. Robert Chase: So if he responds to treatment, that proves he doesn't have smallpox.
Dr. Chris Taub: Then what does the daughter have?
Dr. Robert Chase: Damn. I was hoping you weren't gonna ask me that. Can we please just focus on the disease we've just diagnosed, and can treat?
Dr. Dave Broda: [House enters a sealed chamber] Hey! You're insane!
Dr. Gregory House: But I'm right!
Dr. Dave Broda: I hope you are. Because I can't let you out now.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: [to House] I don't care right now that you lied to me. I want you to stay alive.
Martha Masters: Would it kill us to talk it through?
Dr. Eric Foreman: Kill us? No. Save House? Also no.
Dr. Gregory House: It's kind of hard to do an autopsy in oven mitts.
Martha Masters: Take 'em off.
Dr. Gregory House: Says the woman standing behind two panes of glass.
Martha Masters: Do you believe me? Forget me. Do you believe you? You think it's rickettsial pox, don't you? If it is, it's curable and she's gonna die unless we can prove it.
Dr. Gregory House: You really are annoying!
Dr. Gregory House: Thanks for calling back. Listen, I'm a screenwriter. And is it theoretically possible for smallpox to survive for more than 200 years underwater in a sealed glass jar?
CDC Personnel: Well, theoretically, yes, but...
Dr. Gregory House: Thank you.
Dr. Gregory House: So who do we believe, the CDC or Dr. 90210?
Dr. Eric Foreman: It's the middle of the night in the Netherlands. Nobody's working.
Dr. Gregory House: Oh, you can always find someone.
Geerte: Oh, yes. My name is Geerte. Are you handsome sexiest American man?
Dr. Gregory House: Well, you know, some people... I would say that I am, yeah. I want you to translate something for me.
Geerte: Why you want I translate? I do topless, toys, and...