Born to Ride (2011)Director:James Fargo |
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Born to Ride (2011)Director:James Fargo |
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| Cast overview, first billed only: | |||
| Casper Van Dien | ... |
Mike Callahan
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| Patrick Muldoon | ... |
Alex
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| William Forsythe | ... | ||
| Theresa Russell | ... |
Frances Callahan
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| Jack Maxwell | ... |
Vic
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| Branscombe Richmond | ... |
Dean
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| Jamison Jones | ... |
Gary
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Kurt Andon | ... |
Senator Clayton
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| David Goryl | ... |
David
(as Dave Goryl)
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Daniel Rivera | ... |
John Red Deer
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Andre Caceres | ... |
Biker /
Bike Fabricator
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| Claudia DiFolco | ... |
Vet's Daughter
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Martin Guigui | ... |
Movie Director
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| Dahlia Waingort | ... |
2nd 2nd AD
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Cledia Barsottelli | ... |
Blonde PA
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Don't believe the hype that this is anything like Easy Rider. This movie barely has a plot and most of the time, it doesn't know what it wants to be: a serious movie or an action/comedy. It starts out very tough, like we're in for some deep political scandal movie and then it crosses over into The Three Stooges territory. WTF, indeed.
Mike Callahan (Van Dien) is being interviewed as the movie opens. It turns out that the public is calling him a local hero. He denies being a hero and starts to tell his story. Two guys, Gary (Jones) and David (Goryl), work for a hotel in Phoenix, Arizona and blackmail their guests by planting surveillance cameras in their rooms and using it against them later. When Senator Clayton (Andon) is set to arrive, they set everything up hoping to catch him with some teenage girls, but instead catch him selling nuclear arms or some BS like that -- let's just say that it's damaging and he'll lose his job, reputation and likely go to prison. Gary and David call the Senator and ask for a lot of money, so the Senator asks his friend, Jack Steele (Forsythe, always playing at the top of his game) to take care of it. Jack has his goons, Vic (Maxwell) and Dean (Richmond) work over the blackmailers, but they've already hidden the tape in Alex's (Muldoon) saddlebag. Alex is Mike's motorcycle-riding buddy. Mike and Alex are on their way to Sturgis (the big motorcycle party/event) and now they've got company.
I can barely call this thing a movie. The main characters (Mike and Alex) really have nothing to do the entire film. They don't know about the tape, all they are doing the entire time is just riding to Sturgis. They're supposed to deliver a package to some Veteran's daughter, but they are going to do that after Sturgis. The two hit men who are chasing after the bikers completely change from nefarious henchmen to Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dumb. One of the bad guys actually utters "Jiminey Crickets" (twice, mind you) while being frustrated with the other bad guy. They have more crazy, wacky misadventures trying to locate Mike and Alex than Mike and Alex actually do. The only thing that happens to the bikers is Alex picking up a female hitchhiker who needs a ride to Durango. They stop to sleep in the desert and the next morning, she is gone. It's as if the screenwriters didn't know what to do with her character at all. Who leaves in the middle of a desert? It makes no sense whatsoever. That and they get mugged at a local pub while playing pool (they aren't really in a hurry to get anywhere, are they?) which brings us to the end.
Then the ending comes and we're amazed and surprised at how well the screenwriters tied up everything? Hell, no! The ending was so anticlimactic it had to be tacked on at the end, literally, it would have taken me 10 seconds to write what the screenwriters did. They made the guy being interviewed tell us how the story ended instead of actually filming and showing us. I am dead serious. Theresa Russell shows up as Mike's mom (yes, they stop there, too --- I'm telling ya, they really didn't want to get to Sturgis), but anyone could have had that part. The acting is sub-par, at least it wasn't so bad it didn't want to make me poke out my eyes and ears with knitting needles. It's just one big hot mess of a movie. Lame script, weak dialog, mediocre performances and I watch these movies....why? There was one funny scene involving the bad guys when their car breaks down in the desert and they come across some Indians who have a very keen business sense. Other than that... don't bother. More reviews at www.soveryterry.com
Final Grade: D-