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Friends with Kids (2011) Poster

Quotes

Jason Fryman: You think that we don't love each other? You know, I have loved this girl for nineteen years, Ben. That is fully half my life. I know everything there is to know about her. I know the mood she's in when she wakes up in the morning - always happy, ready for the day. Can you imagine? I know that she is honest; she won't even take the little shampoo bottles from the hotel room, or sneak into the movie theater for a double feature. She always buys a second ticket. Always. I know that we have the same values, we have the same taste, we have the same sense of humor. I know that we both think that organized religion is completely full of shit. I know that if she is ever paralyzed from the neck down, she would like me to unplug her - and I will. I know her position on just about everything, and I am on board. I am on board with everything about her, so you tell me, Ben. What better woman could I have picked to be the mother of my child?

Jason Fryman: Please, please, just let me fuck the shit out of you right now. And if you're not convinced afterwards that I am into you in every possible way a person can be into another person, then I promise I will never try to kiss you, or fuck you, or impregnate you ever again, as long as I live.

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Jason Fryman: Slow painful death by disease... or watching the love of your life die a slow painful death by disease?

Julie Keller: A. Definitely A. Much worse to be without the person you love than to have a slow painful death.

[... ]

Julie Keller: You?

Jason Fryman: Oh, B.

Julie Keller: Really? You would rather watch the love of your life die slowly and painfully?

Jason Fryman: Well, it wouldn't be awesome, but better them than me. Got a lot of good years left.

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Ben: So, why didn't you guys ever even try to get together?

Jason Fryman: It's too much familiarity. It's like she's one of my limbs.

Ben: And that's bad, because...?

Jason Fryman: Because I hate myself.

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Jason Fryman: Julie, I love you, so much, as a friend.

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Jason Fryman: Ah, she'll be fine. She's gotta great

[looks under the comforter ]

Jason Fryman: sense of humour.

Julie Keller: You're such an asshole.

Jason Fryman: I know.

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Jason Fryman: Look, we really wanna have a kid.

Julie Keller: Yeah.

Jason Fryman: We just don't want to subject that kid to our tragic marriage.

Leslie: Our tragic marriage?

Jason Fryman: No, OUR

[indicating Julie and himself]

Jason Fryman: tragic marriage.

Julie Keller: The one we would have.

Jason Fryman: Us.

Julie Keller: I mean see, we-we, um, we just, you know we don't wanna fall in-in the trap that most of our friends have...

[realises that she is saying the right thing in front of the wrong persons]

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Jason Fryman: But, I never heard from you because you were fucking Dirk Diggler.

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Julie Keller: I have heard so much about you, I feel like I know you. I've two of your thongs in my apartment.

[Awkward pause]

Julie Keller: I washed them.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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