Friends with Kids (2011)
Jason Fryman: You think that we don't love each other? You know, I have loved this girl for nineteen years, Ben. That is fully half my life. I know everything there is to know about her. I know the mood she's in when she wakes up in the morning - always happy, ready for the day. Can you imagine? I know that she is honest; she won't even take the little shampoo bottles from the hotel room, or sneak into the movie theater for a double feature. She always buys a second ticket. Always. I know that we have the same values, we have the same taste, we have the same sense of humor. I know that we both think that organized religion is completely full of shit. I know that if she is ever paralyzed from the neck down, she would like me to unplug her - and I will. I know her position on just about everything, and I am on board. I am on board with everything about her, so you tell me, Ben. What better woman could I have picked to be the mother of my child?
Ben: So, why didn't you guys ever even try to get together?
Jason Fryman: It's too much familiarity. It's like she's one of my limbs.
Ben: And that's bad, because...?
Jason Fryman: Because I hate myself.
Jason Fryman: Slow painful death by disease... or watching the love of your life die a slow painful death by disease?
Julie Keller: A. Definitely A. Much worse to be without the person you love than to have a slow painful death.
Julie Keller: You?
Jason Fryman: Oh, B.
Julie Keller: Really? You would rather watch the love of your life die slowly and painfully?
Jason Fryman: Well, it wouldn't be awesome, but better them than me. Got a lot of good years left.
Jason Fryman: Please, please, just let me fuck the shit out of you right now. And if you're not convinced afterwards that I am into you in every possible way a person can be into another person, then I promise I will never try to kiss you, or fuck you, or impregnate you ever again, as long as I live.