Janna, the responsible twin, and Callie, the wild twin, get into a car wreck. Callie walks away from the crash but Janna falls into a coma. Callie suddenly starts to live as Janna in order ... See full summary »
Hanelle M. Culpepper
Christa B. Allen,
Sonia Paston accepts a huge job promotion. Accepting this promotion means she must leave her home in New York City and move to a small town near Boston. However, someone in her life is not ready to live without her.
A serial killer unleashes his blood lust at a remote environmental-camp. Years later a horror novelist relocates to rural England and is plagued to the point of madness by horrific hauntings of a massacre.
A demonic being destroys an entire town, save a young boy and his sister. Twenty years later, the sister is an artist with psychic abilities and her brother has grown obsessed with tracking... See full summary »
After a tragic accident Grace is lost and alone in the Smoky Mountains. Grace's struggle for survival is made more complicated by her troubled past. Battling the demons in her mind may be the only way to come out alive.
A married couple on vacation finds more terror than relaxation when their jeep crashes in an isolated location and they have to fight their way back to civilization, in spite of injuries, snakebites, and the vicious animals that surround them. Written by
Too damn common to simply seek the best films, best directors, best art direction. BAH HUMBUG! Isn't a far more worthy quest that which exposes the really stinky cheeses? The sort that even adventurous/daredevil eaters won't put anywhere near their usually-forgiving mouths.
This director might be a contender for worst of the worst.
Sure, if you really try you can find worse on perhaps a local level. A student maybe, who is probably more suited towards a career as a janitor. Or an ex local-TV "director" who's always wanted to make a film, and now that ANY low-end camera also shoots (consumer-grade) HD video....their dream is now coming true! (years after their meager skills ousted them from doing even the least challenging form of work at their under-funded TV gig) So yes, you can find "worse". But in terms of those who have worked repeatedly, have more work coming, and a body of past work which makes you smell the cheeses mentioned earlier, this guy might be what we've been looking for: The Worst Director! (who is still working, that is) Could he, this film, this writing, and this cheese be any worse? Yes. But not much.
Even the poster looks like it was sent to a community colleges graphics-arts program, and the 1st semester kids won the coin toss to "work on a real film poster"! Exciting? You bet! Those of y'all nukka's who complain about Brett Ratner, Mikey Bay, Ewe Boll, and the other usual suspects who make up the "Worst directors of all time" lists....need to check yoself, 4 u wrek uselph, nuks! Move over, Boll, you've been bested.
Also, buy Crash Site online for a great gift for someone you despise. What other use could their be? The film is so bad that, if you noticed, I ain't even mentioned it. It's magically suckalicious.
In closing, it's good to remember that students will always get better. And presumably be embarrassed by the quality of their first efforts. It's inevitable.
With that in mind, what type of person directs/writes arse-gravy of this kind? Then does it again. And again.
Says a whole, damn, lot.
I'm buying the director a copy of his dreadful film for Xmas. Hope he likes it. It will be sent in a lovely box, tied with ribbon, and with a note inside made from paper infused with ancient fibers, flowers, and this beautiful Haiku:
Jason Bourque, cheesy
Crash Site, sucks, burning anus
pulsate kindly, still
9 of 23 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful to you?