7.1/10
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2 user 6 critic

The Amateur Monster Movie (2011)

The greatly idiotic Walter Romero takes on an island of zombies and a bloodthirsty werewolf to avenge his boy scout buddy with the help of his doe-eyed crush, Ashley Valinski, and hapless stoner, Johnny Mason.

Director:

(as Kyle Richards)

Writer:

(as Kyle Richards)
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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
Chris Ouchie ...
Walter Romero
Jozef K. Richards ...
Johnny Mason (as Kyle Richards)
Samantha Goetz ...
Ashley Valinski
...
Officer Larry Hopkins
Stephen Kimble ...
Officer Duane Black
Charles Ramsey ...
Mayor Kimball
Alex Trapp ...
Booker
Rick Herd ...
Database
Jacob Woelfel ...
Digits
Elizabeth Tannehill ...
Mom
Megan McGivern ...
Mandy Hollywood
Bruce Spielbauer ...
The Guru
Matt Mast ...
The Werewolf
Corey Gibb ...
DJ
Ryan Dewerth ...
Randy
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Storyline

After a group of boy scouts are mysteriously killed by a wolf-like creature on Cadaverous Island, Walter Romero, whose best friend was among the killed, sets out to find exactly what happened. In order to reach the island, Walter teams up with Johnny Mason, neighborhood stoner, to smoke up Ashley Valinski, neighborhood hottie, and get her to take them out on her father's boat. But soon after arriving on Cadaverous Island, a horde of zombies steals their boat, leaving them stranded, and the three are forced to team up with two cops, the mayor, and a team of botanists to either kill the monsters... or be killed themselves..... DUN-DUN-DUN!!! Written by Anonymous

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Genres:

Comedy | Horror

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Release Date:

1 January 2011 (USA)  »

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Did You Know?

Quotes

Mr. Englan: Some kind of animal?
Walter Romero: Uh-huh.
Mr. Englan: Now that's fishy. That is suspicious, man. Because you know what? This is somewhat of an alarming statistic, but more people die from vending machines falling on them every year than do animal attacks, and that's a fact, man. And do you know what else? I come across a lot of vending machines in my line of work, and do you know how many vending machines I've seen kill people? Not one fucking vending machine. Not one. So, do you know what this information tells me? It...
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Soundtracks

A Thriller
Written by Doug Dobert
Performed & Produced by Doug Dobert
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User Reviews

 
Less boring than Surf Nazis Must Die, but not as funny as Die You Zombie Bastards!
10 March 2013 | by (New York) – See all my reviews

The plot: a werewolf, zombies, and a pair of topless girls assault a group of survivors.

I can't really say much about The Amateur Monster Movie that the title doesn't already tell you. It's a humble title, one that's likely to scare away people that hate no budget, independent movies. It also tells you right away that it's likely going to be campy, goofy, and played entirely for laughs. Indeed it is. It's populated exclusively by clichéd stereotypes, the gore can only be described as a parody of low budget splatter movies, and the intentionally bad acting occasionally reaches levels that make you wonder if they're actually reshooting the scenes until it hits rock bottom.

The problem is that the movie just isn't very funny. I often find the absolute worst movies to be rather amusing, and I think I'm one of the few people to actually laugh at unrepentant crap like Die You Zombie Bastards! and Surf Nazis Must Die. Objectively, those movies are almost unwatchably bad, but they make me laugh. The Amateur Monster Movie, unfortunately, failed to make me laugh. Out of all the things that didn't make me laugh, the one that came closest was probably the Joseph Pilato spoof, which I admit to finding slightly amusing. The other cops and the mayor were also slightly amusing, but the teenagers all annoyed me. All they ever did was smoke pot, talk about smoking pot, or try to find more pot to smoke. I did not find their wacky antics amusing, and I kept wishing that they'd die off already.

If you like incredibly bad movies, such as the aforementioned atrocities against film, then you should probably at least give this movie a chance. If you can sit through Surf Nazis Must Die, then you can sit through anything. Guaranteed. I guess I'd probably recommend this movie mostly to people who like watching amateur movies on YouTube.


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