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|Index||146 reviews in total|
76 out of 116 people found the following review useful:
Just Pathetic, 1 June 2012
Author: UnknownWhiteMale_Rises from United States
Well this was a huge disappointment! I really liked the first Piranha 3D film so I was looking forward to this. This is a lazy, lifeless, and pointless sequel that had no business being made. Instead of being so bad it's good like the first film, this one is just so bad it's terrible. For starters, the first Piranha film actually had likable characters and somewhat of a plot to it. This one has the thinest of a plot you can get and the characters are incredibly lifeless and not even the main character serves any purpose to the film at all. You'd think that with this being a sequel they would amp up the gore and deaths, but the deaths in this one are actually tamer than the first and there's actually less of them. The film tries to be much more of a comedy this time around by adding more humor which all of it falls flat. The humor in this film is so awful and outdated thats it's hard to believe anyone over the age of 13 actually wrote this film. But, what really annoyed me about this film is just how damn stupid it is! The writers couldn't even come up with a decent way to get these characters in a situation to set up a death scene and instead have them do something really stupid or come up with a really stupid reason to get them in a situation that sets up a lame death. The acting here (even though it's suppose to be bad) is bad even for a B-Movie. And just when you think you will finally get a payoff after sitting through 55 minutes of crap, the film presents you with a lazy and totally underwhelming climax that is filmed so poorly that most of the time you can't even tell what is going on (And this really sucks because that was the highlight of the first film). And then, the film presents us with an ending so stupid and forced that even those who can suspend their disbelief the most will be left frustrated with just how incredibly stupid the ending is. The film is a short (althought it feels much longer) 70 minutes followed by 11 minutes of credits that include a ton of lame outtakes. I can now see why The Weinstein Company decided to only release this in barely any theaters and just put in on VOD. I still can't believe how bad this movie was. The director John Gulager shouldn't ever be allowed to be involved with a film ever again because this guy can't direct to save his life. Alexandre Aja who directed the first film actually understood the material he was working with. John Gulager had no idea what the hell he was doing and just decided the wip out a POS to make a quick buck because he obviously didn't care about this film at all and just wanted to get paid. As far as the cameo's in the film go, Gary Busey is only in the films opening scene and is wasted (the only thing we get to see him do is light a cow's farts on fire). Ving Rhames cameo doesn't just feel forced, but also is just really pathetic and sad to watch. The only positive things I can say about this film was that David Hasselfhoff's scenes are actually chuckle worthy and there's a lot of gorgeous nude women on screen many times. Even though i'm only giving the film 1/2 a star, that feels generous. This film could've really been a blast and fun just like the first one was, but it really is just an atrocity of a film that not even the biggest fans of the first one will enjoy. If you are looking for a fun B-Movie, go rent Piranha 3D and just forget that this film even exist. Piranha 3DD tries to so self-award of itself that it just ends up being exactly what it's parodying.
17 out of 22 people found the following review useful:
CRAP to an EXTREME, 27 June 2012
Author: Lucas Baker from United States
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Wow. Just wow. Let me note that I enjoyed the first Piranha, and went into this movie with an open mind (despite horrible reviews). What a absolutely HORRIBLE sequel. The time around, the directors have obviously run out of ideas. It was a sequel to a movie that didn't need a sequel. You can only get about 1 good movie from a concept as simple as piranhas, and that's all but clear, seeing as this movie sucked. First of all, this movie is disgusting. You see a fat mans bloody ass, the tip of a severed penis, gore galore (and not the good kind...the bad overly bloody fake looking kind), and a piranha that swam up a girls v- a-g. At points you could tell the piranha's were puppets, and the puns were cheesy one liners at best. The whole film made me nauseous, and the deaths of several people were fake as fake can be. A guy gets decapitated from a yellow flag ribbon...yah...that's right...a guy's head gets severed (though the neck bone and all), by a piece of plastic that is soft, stretchy, only about 1 nano-meter thick, and not even sharp. There is also a guy who gets skewered through the eye, because of an explosion that caused a trident to have impeccable aim falling from the sky. Also, one of the main characters has enough aim to skewer a bag of chips and a piranha perfectly from a good 20 feet away, which begs the question of how he is a lifeguard. The whole film makes no sense, with a girl who has a seizure while having sex (due to a piranha inside her)only to come back to life once a guy severs his pen!s, and the kick- butt black man from the first movie has a shot gun leg. And finally, the ending sucked to an extreme. The piranhas have now begun to walk (or really hop), at the end, only to cut off the entire head of a really nice innocent kid, just for a cheesy one liner that wasn't even funny. In short, this movie is complete an utter crap. Avoid watching (unless you like stupid, gross, and fake movies).
22 out of 32 people found the following review useful:
Lowest common denominator garbage, 17 June 2012
Author: robert haynes from South Africa
This has to be the absolute nadir of genre film-making. A 20 million
dollar budget to produce this crap, ten decent low budget features
could have been produced for the same price.
Performances that range from embarrassing to "oh my god what was that?" Visual effects that set the digital revolution back about ten years. Some of the worst one liners in the recent history of cinema and a silly extended but unfunny cameo from the Hoff himself.
All this negative criticism is coming from someone who rated the first one an eight, but the director here seems to have fallen asleep in his chair and forgotten to pen a halfway decent script. A handful of pre-pubescent boys out there may find the barrage of boobs enough to sustain its scant 80 odd minutes - I didn't! Utter garbage!
11 out of 13 people found the following review useful:
Shutdown Your Brain and Enjoy This Gross and Funny B-Movie, 24 November 2012
Author: Claudio Carvalho from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Lake Victory is a dead place after the tragic events with the invasion
of prehistoric flesh-eaters piranhas.
In Cross Lake, Merkin County, the greedy Chet (David Koechner) opens The Big Wet Water Park against the will of his stepdaughter Maddy (Danielle Panabaker). When the van of her friends Travis (Paul James Jordan) and Ashley (Meagan Tandy) is found in the water and the couple is missing, Maddy and her friend Shelby (Katrina Bowden) miss them and they talk on a wooden deck on the lake; out of the blue, they are attacked by piranhas.
Maddy visits the specialist in piranhas Mr. Carl Goodman (Christopher Lloyd) with her former school friend Barry (Matt Bush), who works at The Big Wet, and with her former boyfriend, Deputy Kyle (Chris Zylka), and they discover piranhas in the lake. However Chet refuses to shutdown his water park and soon his costumers are under the attack of the fearful piranhas.
I saw "Piranha 3DD" on DVD and I found it a gross and funny B-Movie, with stupid but hilarious characters. The director knows the B-movie formula, with teats and beautiful girls. Christopher Lloyd has become stereotyped as the mad scientist in American comedies in the end of his career. The uncredited Ving Rhames afraid of the water and shooting with his leg is comical. But David Hasselhoff steals the movie making fun of himself as the most famous lifeguard of all times. If you shutdown your brain, you will certainly enjoy this movie. My vote is six.
Title (Brazil): "Piranha 2" ("Piranha 2")
28 out of 47 people found the following review useful:
Good for a laugh, familiar faces, 10 June 2012
Author: Broadbean from Sydney, Australia
This was more enjoyable than I thought. The acting was not as bad as
some of the reviewers say, and for a film that doesn't take itself
seriously, neither should you. I actually didn't mind the movie being
short, after all it was always hard to stretch the storyline more than
The whole movie was more like a spoof, and somehow I felt Christopher Lloyd, Ving Rhames and of course The Hoff all added to the fun. The Hoff in particular was great. His role really suited him. He also had a bit more screen time than I would've thought.
I didn't see this in 3D, and I'm not sure if that would've changed my rating. There was a fair bit of gratuitous nudity, but I suppose the gratuitous gore balances that out.
So if you find gratuitous blood, body parts and boobs (and screaming) hilarious, this movie is worth a look over a beer and popcorn. And if you don't like it, it will be over before you know it.
48 out of 87 people found the following review useful:
Crap not worth it!!!, 2 June 2012
Author: rawzwar from chicago
OMG they totally MESSED up this movie.. How do you go from the better story line and funny lines and all to this bad acting, stupid story just plain awful!! not worth 3d shouldn't even be a 3d movie are you kidding me.. I was so looking forward to this after how the first one was and ended great. I mean this one was funny and all but come on seriously BAD BAD BAD!!! VERY Disappointed... DIMENSION FILMS I WANT A REFUND!!!! It started out OK but then just was crap i waisted two hrs of my life i wont get back.. Just answer me how van this even be made... wow!!! very bad !!!!!!!!! MOVIE!!!!! awful... really wanted to see a well made movie just am very mad should've went straight to DVD.....
11 out of 15 people found the following review useful:
makes the first one look like the best horror movie ever made!, 15 June 2012
Author: Dominik Schlatter from Switzerland
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Has anyone ever watched Severance? Now there's a beautiful example of a
horror movie with just the right amount of pitch black humor. I loved
This total piece of garbage? Oh, please! I have to dig deep into the Steven Seagal archive to find movies that are equally uninspired. It doesn't work as a horror movie (no suspense!) and it sure as hell doesn't work as a comedy (bad, lame and sick jokes at best!). The worst part is that only after one hour does the movie decide to wanna be a comedy as well. Until then they desperately try to create suspenseful scenes, in which people almost get bitten. It's like saying: "Well, we just can't seem to make it scary. Let's turn it into a travesty. Ideas? Anyone? Say what? A fish inside of her...? And then it bites into his...? Awesome! Let's do this. Quick, guys, before I get sober again!"
Do you know what made the first one good? It packs a brutal punch but still finds the time to tell a story and develop some characters.
3DD fails to deliver on all fronts. Just awful!
Let me put it this way: The director wanted 'Lethal Weapon 2' but out came 'The Naked Gun' instead. Only without ANY quality and no Leslie Nielsen. See what I mean?
Stay clear of this movie!! You were warned!!!
27 out of 47 people found the following review useful:
Not everyone likes sushi, 15 May 2012
Author: energis from United Kingdom
The biggest mistake you could possibly make going into this movie would
be to take it seriously at all. If you hadn't guessed from the title,
Piranha 3DD is a ridiculous horror comedy concerned with only three
things: gore, mammary glands and humour.
The setup of the film is relatively straight forward: it's a year after the attack on Lake Victoria by prehistoric piranhas and the flesh-eating fish appear to have died out. We soon learn that a new waterpark is due to open in the town, and wouldn't you believe it, the little monsters are back.
The first thing you'll notice about Piranha 3DD is that it's a definite step down from its predecessor (Piranha 3D). There's a different director and a smaller budget which means it almost feels like an 80s B movie at times. This might sound worrying but the film eventually pays dividends with some hilarious scenes and lashings of blood and body parts.
It wouldn't be unfair to say that the movie is a tale of two halves with the first half being very weak. The narrative is laughable and not in a good way, with some flimsy characters dragging us through the sorry excuse for a plot. There are some decent moments when the hit-or-miss Scary Movie style humour works but they're few and far between. It's really the second forty-five minutes where the film comes to life.
And strangely, that's also when David Hasselhoff walks into the movie. He's one of three big name cameos to make an appearance and is easily the best used. Shortly after his arrival, the piranhas make their presence known and for about twenty minutes, the film is wildly entertaining. The CGI might not be great and the use of 3D might be limited but there's still a lot of fun to be had.
Piranha 3DD is not a film that will appeal to everyone. It is what it is, and at times it's borderline pornographic, but there are enough memorable moments to make it worth a watch for anyone who enjoyed the first.
12 out of 19 people found the following review useful:
End of Piranha franchise, 27 June 2012
Author: Saad Khan from Pakistan
Piranha 3DD TRASH IT (C-) When Piranha's remake was released in 2010, it surprised everyone as it was pretty good and even still it holds whooping 73% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. When sequel was announced there was hope it'll be good but when its first promo was released everyone knew it's more like Straight-to-DVD sort of movie. To no Surprise Piranha 3DD, with tons of double Ds is a disastrous. It starts okay with all clichéd unfamous tween stars but end terribly. There is no sense or humor to anything. Bad production, performance and screenplay tank the future of Piranhas. Danielle Panabaker alone couldn't save mediocre performances by other tweens Jean-Luc Bilodeau, Chris Zylka, Matt Bush, Meagan Tandy, Katrina Bowden and Paul James Jordan. Piranha 3DD starts mediocre (C) and ends dreadfully (D). Overall rating (C-)
30 out of 55 people found the following review useful:
Awfully Good - Just don't take it seriously!, 12 May 2012
Author: liamn1996 from United Kingdom
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Well, I went to watch this today and I couldn't stop laughing! The bedroom scene is one of the best scenes ever. As with the first one there is lots of nudity and lots of gore! Which I like. Danielle Panabaker is great as the lead and done well with this film. Ving Rhames was back and that was just delightful. David Hasselfhoff - well, what can you say about David? Just too awesome for words. Katrina Bowden gives us the best line in the film "Josh cut off his penis because something came out of my vagina" then of course Ving with his "Bring me my legs". The other cast members were hilarious! It was great seeing some not so familiar faces. The effects (again) were not amazing but enjoyable non the less. The deaths were inventive and funny (wait for the last one)! And of course - Christopher Lloyd, amazingly crazy once again. I gave the Piranha 3D 9/10, this one I give 8/10. It's awesome but the first one is, well... AMAZING! Just don't take the film so seriously, just enjoy it, have a laugh and smile! When this comes on DVD I will have my beer and pizza ready! Great lads film but i'm sure the ladies will love it too! Please go and watch it so we can get a third - God knows what it'll be called...
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