A mediocre, though somewhat entertaining, video game spoof... with boobs.
First off, let's dash a few hopes: the English title for Oppai Chanbara: Striptease Samurai Squad is a bit misleading. If you envisioned a band of roving topless samurai laying waste to their enemies, you will be sorely disappointed. In fact, there are only two striptease samurai in the film not much of a squad, really.
Oppai Chanbara is a spoof of the popular (in Japan, at least) video game series Onechanbara. However, familiarity with Onechanbara is not required to understand or enjoy Oppai Chanbara. In fact, all that's really needed to get the most from this film is a few beers and relatively low expectations. Akira Hirose directs this low-budget action-comedy, featuring AV stars Ryo Akanishi (Injured Dolls, Sexual Nurse Clinic 3) and Ruru Anao (Super Tits Body Special, Bako Bako Orgy), which somehow manages to be not quite as bad as one would expect. Oppai Chanbara has a certain sleazy charm that manages to make it almost appealing.
It's her 20th birthday and Lili (Akanishi) is about to inherit the Sayama Hashin-ryu sword style. What is the Sayama Hashin-ryu sword style, you ask? Well, as the film makes clear on several occasions, Sayama Hashin-ryu is, at its core, a sword style used to kill people (ahem) with your boobs. Well, that's not exactly right. Lili doesn't actually kill people with her boobs. They serve as more of a distraction technique than anything else probably because they glow. Yep, you read that correctly, her boobs glow.
During her initiation ceremony, Lili's grandmother gives her a mysterious box, warning her to open it only when faced with a true predicament. After drinking some rather questionable green tea, she is transported back to the era of ronin, ninjas, and uncomfortable male underpants where she finds herself alone in a forest, buck naked with only the box for company. She soon encounters the very pregnant Yae (Mina Asa), fleeing the clutches of the evil Yamishika gang. Judging herself to be in a true predicament, Lili opens the box and before our very eyes a striptease samurai is born! An epic battle of boobs vs. ninjas ensues, during which Lili experiences her first kill, leading to deep personal introspection which culminates in her revelation that Sayama Hashin-ryu is indeed, at its core, a sword style used to kill people.
The Yamishika gang flees and Lili is escorted to Iida village by Yae and her brother Hikoichi (Shouichi Matsuda). Hikoichi loans Lili his prized polka-dot handkerchief, sparking a love interest that is later solidified when he proves himself a talented musician by playing a heartrending composition on what I can only assume was a blade of grass. Needless to say, the Yamishika gang aren't about to go out like a bunch of punk-bitches. They soon return to Iida village with their leader, the ninja queen Lady Kinu (Anao) in tow, swearing to murder a villager every day until their extortion demands are met. More boob-based combat ensues and Lili vows to save Iida village from Lady Kinu and her gang.
Oppai Chanbara is certainly nothing to write home about, but might appeal to fans of low-budget Japanese ninja-chick flicks and softcore AV addicts. The acting is about what you would expect from a couple of AV stars and a bunch of nobodies (my apologies, Mr. Matsuda). The fight choreography is decent and there are a few genuinely funny moments. Also, I never really got tired of admiring Ryo Akanishi's... um, swordplay. Gorehounds take note: despite all the swords and shurikens, there's very little blood, and no gore, to speak of. I guess Hirose spent most of his special-effects budget on boob-lights, but I can't really hold that against him.
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