Wilfred: I mean, I've heard of trauma causing blindness, like when Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles walked in on each other masturbating.
Ryan Newman: Behold... The instrument of Drew's destruction. Bzzmm... My ping pong paddle from when I was all state table tennis champion.
Wilfred: So, chemistry, biking and ping pong. I guess my only question is, why were you not blowjobbed to death by the entire cheerleading squad?