Riley Jones: Every morning I try to remember that I'm only the second biggest loser to walk Grizzly Hills High. First place goes to the drunk slut who screwed the dead mascot in 1992. But the 90's are history, and so am I.
Principal Verge: I get it. Listening to your loud music, tripping out to Fraggle Rock. But the question is: What does the future hold for Clapton Davis?
Clapton Davis: Well, I am starting my own music site. Its going to list new releases and review albums from bands that nobody's heard of except for me and if they have I'll just dismiss them with scathing comparisons to avant-garde folk rockers. Everything's great on a ultra precise one hundred point scale and there's no place for feedback. If readers want to bitch about they'll have to go on their twitters. Good taste is not a democracy.
Principal Verge: And this pays what? 13.5 a year?
Clapton Davis: Free Costello tickets.
Clapton Davis: Sander, Ioni's an old soul trapped in a very painfully hot cheerleader body. Plus, she knows the lyrics to Sting's Fields of Gold.
Madison: [in "Slashing Beauty 4"] Greg, you asshole! Now we really do have to use this time to think about our futures.
Principal Verge: I know it looks like such a lighthearted feel-good comedy, being an expecting teenage mom. But let me tell you something, I've been principal at this school for five years. Let me tell both of you something, pregnant teenagers are never funny, ever.
Student: I'm not pregnant.
Principal Verge: Cut the carbs.
Ione: That's hilarious. What is it?
Clapton Davis: I don't know. I think it's a bong.
Mr. Kendall: Well, Clapton. I'm wet.
Gord: Yes, I like to start off by saying that this girl's argument is ridiculous! Vegetarians who eat fish are hypocrites! She thinks that because fish feel no pain they don't value their lives. Absurd!