- Steve Coogan: Duck fat lolly. Well, why not? This is like my comedy, it's like, it's familiar, like we all know what a lolly is, but there's something very different about it.
- Rob Brydon: And, like lollipops, something that we enjoyed a long time ago.
- Rob Brydon: [reading a newspaper] Listen to this, it's about Warren Beatty, right - "Peter Biskin, Beatty's new biographer, estimates that the famously seductive star of Bonnie and Clyde has notched up 12,775 sexual conquests. He slept with an average of 246 women a year."
- Steve Coogan: Well, 365 days a year, that's about 120 days a year off. That's every weekend off. If he does it every weekday, he gets his weekends off. It's achievable.
- Rob Brydon: Well, Port Talbot has a population of 30,000 people, that means he's slept with half the women in Port Talbot.
- Steve Coogan: Well, no, half the population are men, so...
- Rob Brydon: So he's slept with all the women in Port Talbot. Which I wouldn't wish on anybody.
- [a waiter with a hard-to-understand French accent is showing them a wine]
- French Waiter: Light, fruity and easy to follow.
- [Steve and Rob thank him and he leaves]
- Rob Brydon: Easy to follow? That's rather ironic.
- Steve Coogan: They are breaching the trade descriptions act.
- Steve Coogan: Someone overheard Nick Stevens at an Endeavour meeting where someone brought my name up and he said "I wish I'd gotten hold of Steve Coogan when he was 35." And I thought "Crikey, is that it? Is it game over?" I mean, I'm 41, you know.
- Steve's US Agent: You're not 41.
- Steve Coogan: I'm not, no, I'm 44. I've been 41 for 3 years, I've been telling people I'm 41 for 3 years.
- Steve's US Agent: [sighs] Look, you know how old Jack Lemmon was when he won the Oscar for Save the Tiger?
- Steve Coogan: No.
- Steve's US Agent: He was... 48.
- Steve Coogan: Yeah, but he'd been a movie star for fucking 20 years, dude.