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|Index||18 reviews in total|
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
This absurdly poor creation shamelessly steals from the likes of
Gladiator, Star Wars, Cyborg 2, Dune, Power Rangers, Braveheart, Mad
Max 3, and ends up feeling like a lengthy montage sequence narrated by
a drug addict going through withdrawal. Hirokin's hair is the craziest
part of the film. It's like a crow's nest. His first girl is kinda
rough in the face because the movie doesn't want us to care for her too
much. Enter the smart-mouthed, wily, buxom blonde and her pretty eyes.
The bad guy is laughable, he wears a man-corset; his henchmen are
laughable, they wear full body armor in the desert; his woman is a
venomous snake with a heart of venomous gold that just craves to be
desired and bedded properly. Did they have but one stock cgi hovercraft
desertmobile to spare for the entire army of evil? You bet! Oh, the
mentor figure for Hirokin is some crazy plump desert samurai that talks
like a homeless person. Oh I get it 'Arids'='Arabs'. Cute. I get the
feeling the author of this scenario doesn't speak English as his first
language, or even broken English for that matter. The entire film is
riddled with moonspeak. And everybody gets to become samurai in the
end. Which is brilliant. Hirokin even has a signature move - he takes
his pitiful blade, holds it like a throwing spear and then he throws
it, impales the target instantly, and then snaps the blade black into
his girly hands.
Here's a splice from the dialogue: "I have seen you in the.. battlefield of my.. mind Hirokin, you will unite the tribes, my friend, change the world, my friend. My friend. Hirokin replies: No, thank you." and promptly walks away.
Thank you Hirokin. I have learned a lot today. You have changed my life. (Btw, his name means 'Sword for the downtrodden', but it's okay if you just call him Hiro)
I've seen Hirokin by mistake, as I didn't really planed to, and what a
mistake that was. I know it's hard to imagine, but compared to this,
John Carter feels like a masterpiece. The only interesting thing this
movie actually had, was the concept laying at the core of it, even if
it kinda makes you think at Samurai Jack cartoon series. Sadly even
this little, sole sparkle it had, was wasted in every possible way. I
believe it would be really hard to make things worst than they already
are: ridiculously bad acting, highly uninspired story, lame
unconvincing fight scenes, bad filming, improper soundtrack and so on.
Really, it doesn't worth your time or money. If you have a lot of time on your hands and you don't know how to spend it, than go and take a walk in the park as it would be far more entertaining than seeing this movie. Honestly, it would be more fair if they would be the ones to pay us so we would bother to come and see such crappy movies.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Okay I think I know what happened, Alejo watched the movie Dune and Star Wars, then monkey see monkey do. Alejo has a long background in martial arts and I've seen 5 minute youtube videos with better choreography than the hole of this film. The plot was week and poorly executed, especially the scene where Hirokin starts to fight back, gets surrounded, then decides to run, people move in front of the camera and he exited into safety, because why bother writing a believable reason for why your characters escape when you can just have a bunch of people move in front of the camera really fast. The two characters in the film I did like were the smugglers and their mildly funny banter. Even though it wasn't the worst movie I have ever seen (Going Overboard by Adam Sandler) it certainly was not worth watching, unless you enjoy seeing the culmination of one mans career in filmmaking go up in flames. Good day and RIP Hirokin.
This movie reminds me of John Carter; a very poor version of it.
LET'S TALK ABOUT THE BAD THINGS: First, I'd like to point out that the title is misleading - there are no Samurais in the film including the character "Hirokin". Most of the swordsmanship in the film were from Kendo, not Kenjutsu. Second, all CGI were obvious and some were even incomplete. There was even a shot of a floating ship where the top was not aligned with the screen's edge. I know the film is low-budget so I can't fault them for that but alignment should be simple enough and free of charge. Third, there were some "comedic" scenes that were out of place and should've just been excluded from the film - they were probably from "The Lord of the Rings". Fourth, the outline of the story is common and the plot is too narrow to be worthy of being a great film; they could have done so much better in ALL areas. Finally, some dialogs were amateurish and the set extras/actors were not properly directed; in some scenes, they were simply all over the place.
NOW, THE GOOD THINGS: The locations were amazing except the viceroy's base. The main stars' acting were excellent. I could spot that some of their dialogs were improvised from whatever was originally on the script. The framing and scene composition were all good and professional and the lighting was superb.
CONCLUSION: It's a good watch when there's nothing better lying around.
I must say that Sci-Fi B movies is not all in the toe crunching class.
But this movie is really terrible; I know that the budget was low but
come-on! If you can't make a decent CGI in the year 2011 don't even
attempt to do it. In the 80'ties there were a lot of movies in the
"atomic wasteland Mad Max" category, this one will fit nicely in the
row of movies that failed to get past the firing ramp. I watched the
movie in 1080p and it didn't help much, so if you love Sci-Fi B movies
you can give it a try on day, if nothing else come to your mind.
The scenery was great, and the fighting scenes were "sort of" OK, but everything else didn't deliver the silver screen magic at all. If you decide to watch this one don't expect anything, then you wont be disappointed.
Badly directed with even worse editing this story had a lot of potential. Fails miserably as entertainment, screen play and dialogue are even worse than the directing and editing. Production quality is almost there and the acting looks like it was all first takes with little rehearsal. I also saw bits from other movies, Gladiator, Star Wars a little of Dune. Plenty of good looking sorts in it, but even they can't save this festering mess. It would not have taken too much to have turned this into blockbuster, get Joss Weadon in to rewrite the screenplay and direct. Pay the actors a little more and give them some time to rehears.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
I once saw a movie that was worse than this. once. This movie is a
horrible amalgamation of Star Wars, The Last Samurai and Gladiator. In
the film our hero Hirokin and his wife get captured by an evil overlord
named Phoenix. Somehow or another, Hirokin escapes and wanders off into
the desert. He meets a fat, balding, Yoda-like guy who teaches him "the
way" which is like the force but not really. after He's learned "the
way" he "unites the tribes" which turn out to be like 30 people in
total. Then he goes back and fights the evil Phoenix in a ring of
guards, he kills Phoenix but is mortally wounded himself and dies.
In this basic recycled plot, the writer/director sprinkles in some other things that have no baring on the story and end up not being important. for example, a hovercraft that looks like Jabba's barge; An implied love triangle involving Yoda's daughter; two Irish idiots for comic relief and a half hour of Discovery Chanel nature shots.
There are blatant ripoffs throughout the movie. The Irish idiots are lifted from Hidden Fortress; They took Jedi robes and gave them unhemmed edges; the ending is from Gladiator, complete with a grassy field vision and to top it all off, a Black Obi Wan Kenobi that had nothing to do with the plot. You could make a drinking game where everyone has to do a shot for every ripped off element. everyone would be too drunk by the end to even notice the gladiator ending.
half the budget for set design seems to have been blown on one spiky death machine. One can deduce that from the three shots it's unnecessarily placed in, and also the fact that 90% of the movie takes place in tents.
The acting is horrible, The handful of real actors in it appear to not take their rolls seriously (and for good reason) and deliver "non-performances". The editing was amateurish at best, shots were carried too long and dialog scenes were sloppy. I've seen better editing in YouTube videos. The soundtrack was generic, ambient, crap.
Overall this movie had no redeeming features whatsoever. there was no single component piece to it that was even passable. whoever told "Alejo Mo-Sun" (writer/director/producer) that he has an ounce of talent in film making should be shot. His mother should be sued for encouraging him to follow his dreams.
Hirokin did have a good idea going for it, unfortunately it now joins the already quite big pile of movies that badly executed their good ideas. The best thing about it is some exotic scenery, but that's it. And even then you can't really enjoy it because the camera work and editing is so lazy and amateurish. The special effects are also rather unfinished looking and like they were shoe-horned in pretty much last minute, and the choreography and fight scenes have no energy or momentum, just clumsily done all round. The music is at best generic, it can be annoying also and it doesn't sound as though it entirely fits with everything else. Hearing the dialogue, I got the impression that the writers didn't bother to make sure that what they wrote actually made any kind of sense, it just rambles on, sounds awkward and often doesn't seem to really mean anything. The story aside from being highly derivative is dull, lacking in any thrills or fun and so predictable to the extent that you are constantly correctly guessing what happens next. There is nothing interesting or likable about the characters here, they are little more than severely underwritten archetypes, especially the villains that are among the most laughable of any movie. The acting is terrible especially the bland and wholly unheroic lead(he has the looks but not the acting chops), even Julian Sands, most likely the most well-known actor in the cast, manages to give a flat and really quite insipid performance. Angus Macfadyen likewise. Overall, Hirokin did have good potential that is wasted by really bad execution. Not the worst I've ever seen, but you'd be hard pressed to find anything redeeming regarding the movie. 1/10 Bethany Cox
waist. as a huge ball of actors, technical tools, story and possibilities. only virtue - chance to remind you many great S.F. movies. but it is not enough. a film lost in pink chaos. interesting as parts but not as final product. good scene and boring script. few philosophic lines, a crosswords action, ambiguity as heart, few fields of nonsenses. and that is all. and the feeling is the too large care to fail of team who transforms a not uninspired idea in a silly sketch. few crumbs of courage of director, a not gray acting from actors, the precision of events are good points for gives a decent movie. maybe, with another occasion.
My summary line is the title the movie received when it was released in
Germany. You've got to admit, that makes it sound intriguing and
interesting. But the movie itself, that tries to copy quite a lot of
Sci-Fi movies (some of them have copied other formulas of course, so
there is nothing wrong with that idea), never quite gets there. It
starts with the dialog and continues with just above the average
(sometimes) fight scenes.
Don't get it twisted, it's not completely awful (I've seen worse FX and worse stories). The stoic acting of Wes Bentley will make you wonder if he has lost or never had any acting abilities. A fantasy tale that tries to be epic and does look good (colors on Blu Ray), but is it enough?
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