"Desperate Housewives" - "A Humiliating Business" - Nov. 7, 2010
In the opening scene, the ghost of Mary Alice voices over about trying to avoid humiliation as Bree faceplants while she and Keith rollerblade in a local park. She was having a hot flash. He was worried she fell on purpose to injure herself to get out of meeting his parents. She says she's having fun but then faints. A paramedic arrives and says she overexerted herself. She has another hot flash and the paramedic realizes it and clues her in while Keith is off getting water. She doesn't tell him the real reason for her discomfort.
Meanwhile, Paul wakes up the morning after, satisfied after a full night of lovemaking. He thanks Beth and says she didn't disappoint him. He says for a virgin she was very open-minded. Beth says the sex was very interesting but the snuggling is her favorite part. She offers him morning sex but before he can have it a man arrives to see him. It's Derek his cellmate from prison.
Renee offers Lynette a job in her new interior design business. She offers to woo the clients and Lynette can do all the business stuff. Lynette says she's in and is glad so she can bring Paige to her house. The shallow Renee puts the kibosh on that and tells Lynette to get a nanny. Renee says there must be someone she knows who's desperate and needs money.
Just then, 'crazy klutz' Susan is at the grocery store struggling to pay for her groceries and freaking out.
At the Solis house, Gaby is making dinner because Bob is coming over. Carlos is resistant to having dinner with Bob with whom he feels has no common interests. Gaby insists that he's staying to eat with them.
Paul, Beth, and Derek, have dinner. Derek's table manners leave a little to be desired. Paul tells Beth they were cell mates for two years. Derek tells Beth he was in for murder. Derek is moving onto the lane into Paul's old house to do a "little work" for Paul. He won't tell Beth what that work is. He thinks they should keep Derek's rap sheet to themselves.
Gaby shows Bob pictures of Grace and talks about how getting to know her has been a blessing and they can't thank Bob enough. They give him orchestra seats to "Cats." Bob says Lee was the "show queen." Turns out Bob is quite a bit more butch than Lee. He likes beer and college basketball. Carlos offers to go to a game with him. Gaby is confused and wonders if he kisses boys with that mouth. Bob is sorry to Gaby that he's not a "tired gay stereotype." He and Carlos run off to watch the game.
Meanwhile, Bree tells the ladies about the menopause issue and she can't believe it's coming at a time when she's feeling all alive with Keith. She's worried it will ruin her relationship. Karen McCluskey, Renee, and Gaby say she doesn't have to tell him.
Afterwords, Renee calls Susan and leaves a message and Susan thinks she's offering her a job with the interior design business but what she wants is for her to be Lynette's nanny. Lynette is worried that it might ruin their friendship. Susan is surprised, but takes the job.
Bree goes to see a doctor. The doctor herself is going through "the change." Bree wants something to mask the symptoms. She wants to put menopause on "pause." The doctor says they can talk about therapies.
Lee shows up at Gaby's at 11 p.m. He seems squirrely and asks about Bob, he thinks he's seeing someone. He's heard he's been out with a hunky Latino. She tells him it's Carlos. Lee thinks this means they both have something to worry about since Bob's always had a crush on Carlos. Apparently Bob's college nickname was "flipper" for his persuasive powers with straight men. Gaby says she knows Carlos and he's as straight as they come. Bob and Carlos arrive home and Lee sneaks out the ... back door. Bob brings Carlos in hammered.
Renee and Lynette work on their business plans. Or Lynette does and Renee daydreams. Lynette is impressed with Susan's ability with the baby. Lynette asks about Mike who left town the other day for a job in Alaska. Susan says he's fine, but seems short. She offers to do the laundry. Lynette says she doesn't have to do that and then the baby starts crying and she says that's her job.
Meanwhile, Beth calls her mother with a Paul/Derek update. At her unseen mother's advice, Beth goes over to Paul's old house and chats with Derek as he does some carpentry work inside. She asks Derek what's up and why he is there, and he says that she should talk to Paul. She starts to cry and begs him to tell. He gets uncomfortable with how close she gets. She realizes as a parolee he needs to avoid trouble. Beth shows more of her dangerously disturbed personality when she threatens Derek by making it look like he attacked her by ripping her dress. She says she doesn't want to do it this way but she's going to find out what's going on. Derek caves in and agrees to tell her why Paul called on him.
At the Solis house, Carlos tells Gaby he's going golfing for the weekend with Bob. This makes Gaby nervous. (In a way that only happens on TV). She tells Carlos Bob wants to seduce him. Carlos thinks that's crazy and that he'd never go along with it. She knows he wouldn't but she says it still irrationally bothers her. He says he won't go.
Bree is worried about meeting Keith's parents. He didn't tell them about the age difference. She meets them, and Bree is shocked when Keith's mother turns out to be her gynecologist. The one that is helping Bree lie to Keith about her menopause. Oops. (Note: Keith's parents are played by Nancy Travis and John Schneider).
They chitchat as Keith's mom, Mary, shoots daggers at Bree. It's announced Mary's a doctor and she offers to talk about her latest patient. Bree points out of course doctor/patient confidentiality keeps her from that. Mary says it depends on how drunk she gets. Mary asks Keith if this is the woman who will give her grandchildren. Bree starts to get a hot flash. Mary tries to trap her with descriptions of menopause symptoms. Bree finally gives in and says she's going through menopause.
Meanwhile, Renee and Lynette are taking a potential client out for dinner but she wants a sneak peek before the meal. They show her a little something but the client is skeptical. Susan overhears them and she makes suggestions about being playful with decorations. The client likes Susan's ideas about painting fun characters on the walls. Renee gets mad at her for being upstaged by the woman who does the dishes. Lynette tries to apologize for Renee but Susan says she gets it.
Gaby goes to visit Bob and he knows what she's up to and shuts the door in her face. He tells her that Carlos told him about the seduction plan. He's very upset with her and points out that he's very lonely and was glad to have made a new friend. Gaby of course feels terrible and says Carlos can go. She says if he wants to flip someone, Tom Scavo is his man.
After dinner, Lynette goes to talk to Susan. She wonders about the weird vibe she's getting from Susan. Susan says nothing. Susan admits she's mad that she offered her a job as a nanny when she thought it was in the design firm. Lynette claims that she didn't know. Susan says she loves her for the gesture but hates her too because she's not in the position to say no. She says it's awful that all her friends look at her differently now, as the poor one. Lynette says their friendship is never going to change, and that her money trouble are only temporary. They hug and agree to go get drunk.
Meanwhile, Paul comes home to find Beth on the bed in lingerie ready to go at it again. He says she's turned out to be the perfect wife, but Beth says that it's not true and that doesn't think he's trustworthy. Paul says he doesn't want to talk about it right now. Beth says he doesn't have to since Derek privately told her what Paul is planning for the neighbors of Whisteria Lane -- she's undressing him as she does this. Paul tells Beth that he knows what he's doing might sound crazy but he also tells Beth that she doesn't understand how much he despises these people and how much he needs them to suffer for turning their backs on them when he was unjustly sent to prison. Beth says that's where he is wrong because she understands vengeance completely and kisses him. He reiterates that she's the perfect wife.
Keith comes to Bree's house after she stalked off. She apologizes. He asks why she didn't tell him about the menopause thing. She says she was afraid of how he would react. He says he doesn't care. She says she always knew there was an expiration date on the relationship since he's 17 years younger than her. He says it doesn't matter to him, he doesn't care that she can't get pregnant, they can adopt, and as long as he gets to throw a ball with someone he doesn't care whose DNA they've got. Bree breaks the news that not only can she not have children she doesn't want more. He gets upset and wonders why they're even talking about it, it's only been two months, he says he just wants them to keep being happy. He's clearly in some kind of denial. Bree hugs him.
Meanwhile, Gaby gets a hare-brained scheme. Instead of having Bob go with Carlos to play golf she brings Lee over and forces the two of them to reconcile. Even though they protest they have big issues no sooner are they making out.
In the final scene, the mentaly unhinged Beth goes to the state prison to visit her mother. Beth's mother turns out to be the equally deranged and revenge-seeking Felicia Tillman.