- Announcer: [Grandad is about to take Zortafrinex when a commercial comes on] High blood pressure got you down? Ask your doctor if Zortafrinex is right for you, in clinical trials Zortafrinex was proven to lower blood pressure. Ask your doctor before taking Zortafrinex, women, pregnant women, and most men should not take Zortafrinex, known side effects include dry mouth, upset stomach, mild death, blindness, massive heart attack, difficulty breathing, and rectal fungus. Almost all men who took Zortafrinex experienced a severe loss of sexual performance, this is normal, please stop taking Zortafrinex immediately if you feel mild discomfort on or in testicals, as this can be a sign of a rare and extremely unpleasant side effect known as "total scrotal implosion"
- [Grandad gasps in horror]
- Announcer: if "total scrotal implosion" should occur tell your doctor right away, if you cannot move or talk due the dehabiliating pain of "total scrotal implosion" please have a loved one call your doctor, there is no cure for "total scrotal implosion". Zortafrinex always the right choice!
- [Grandad throws the pills to the ground in anger]
- Huey Freeman: So, what's more important, weed or us?
- Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Weed.
- Riley Freeman: Man, he didn't even think about it.
- Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: I'm sick of havin' to beat y'all all the damn time. 'Cause this time, you gonna beat each other.
- [takes off his belt and hands it to Huey]
- Riley Freeman: What?
- Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: I said beat each other. Take turns.
- Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Look, boys, I went to the doctor and had a wake-up call and I decided I'm not gonna sweat the small stuff any more. I'm the same Granddaddy you know and love. I'm happy. I feel good. And from now on, I'm going to appreciate life.
- Huey Freeman: Yeah, that person's nothin' like the Granddad we know and love.
- Riley Freeman: Yeah, our Granddad don't appreciate nuthin'. You an imposter!
- Thugnificent: Got your lifetime supply of Viagra right here.
- [shakes a large box]
- Thugnificent: Just kidding, man. I know it ain't Viagra 'cause I already looked.
- Huey Freeman: Man, we looked up the side-effects to all of Granddad's pills and none of them make you a happier, calmer, more well-adjusted person
- Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: My life is more stressful than most people's. My one grandson is a domestic terrorist and the other one is a public menace.