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Monsters in the Woods (2012)

 -  Horror  -  11 February 2012 (USA)
2.2
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Ratings: 2.2/10 from 244 users  
Reviews: 12 user | 23 critic

A micro-budget movie crew treks into the wilderness to shoot horror scenes for their unsellable indie-drama. They soon find themselves in the midst of their own real horror movie, as they are hunted by a large group of creatures.

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(as Jason Horton)

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Cast

Credited cast:
...
Jayson
...
Guy
...
Ashley
...
Burt
Claudia Perea ...
Ariel
...
Bravo
Gladys Otero ...
Bianca
...
Script Supervisor
Paul Misko ...
Kris
Richard Raad ...
Turkeyneck
Rest of cast listed alphabetically:
...
Mom
Adam Brooks ...
Monster
Darnell Campbell ...
Production Assistant
...
Monster
...
Eric
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Storyline

Low budget filmmaker, JAYSON (Glenn Plummer) has made the movie of his dreams... but to his dismay, it can't sell in Hollywood. The distributors tell him "... you have nothing exploitative in your movie. Add some sex scenes, more violence, and maybe we'll buy your film." The distraught filmmaker approaches his neophyte, semi-psychotic producer, BRAVO (Blaine Cade) and tells him, "... put together a cast and crew... we're going to re-shoot and give them what they want!" Bravo nervously tells him, "We're out of money. " Jayson screams at him, "I don't care. Do WHATEVER you have to do!" Bravo enlists a young movie crew to follow them into the remote back woods of the Great Bear Mountains by telling them "There's no money, but when we sell this, you'll all get a big piece of the profits for your efforts... and great craft service!" Various 'B' movie actors, including stuntman BURT (Edward Hendershott), and his gorgeous wannabe actress girlfriend, ASHLEY (Linda Bella), join them as Jayson ... Written by Anonymous

Plot Summary | Plot Synopsis

Genres:

Horror

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Release Date:

11 February 2012 (USA)  »

Also Known As:

Монстры в лесах  »

Box Office

Budget:

$30,000 (estimated)
 »

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User Reviews

 
Nutty, Bloody, Uneven but Ambitious Oddball Semi-Spoof B-Indie
27 November 2013 | by (Planet Ergro) – See all my reviews

I don't think all the positive comments here are made by members of the production crew for the movie, as almost all are for a few other new independent cheapo horror-movie disasters such as ALPHA GIRLS, and I AM ZOZO, which are hideous failures in all ways and shill-spammed here like crazy by fiends and family (and yes, my spelling there is intentional).

This movie has some very amusing scenes in it and is a mix of spoof, improv, creature feature and hand-held "reality" horror and the reason why it doesn't entirely work is not that everything about it is bad, it's that not all those elements always fit together.

Unquestionably the best moments in it are the sly little comedy lines and bits that are slipped in and will especially appeal to anyone who has ever shot a film before. This stuff is almost all genuinely funny and includes jabs at bad actors, girlfriends who want to be in movies too, stupid low-budget horror characters (the initial scene portrays an attack on innocent naked campers by a monster turkey-man--yeah, that's right, a turkey-man, and when you realize that you can't help but smile), comments by a black guy about black guys always getting killed first, a script girl being asked to fill in for a role when another actress goes missing but objecting to getting naked, etc. A few are absolutely laugh-out-loud moments and the timing on most of them is excellent -- you don't always catch everything that's going on right away, you have to pay attention, but, yeah, those bits are supposed to be funny and they are, the filmmakers just don't slap you in the face with them, or provide you with a laugh track or cartoon sound effects to telegraph them, and that's a good thing.

The actors here are mostly not bad here either; the director is amusingly frustrated with everything that goes amiss (and plenty does) and the script girl in particular is a very amusing and capable performer.

There is also a sincere effort made here to include NON-CGI practical creature suits for the oddball monsters that dominate the second half of the movie. That's admirable, even if they are a bit odd-looking and not usually very well-photographed.

What doesn't work here is the way-too-absurd plot imposed on the original setup which is there to justify the monsters and murders which eventually abound. It's just way too far-fetched to make any sense or be engaging and honestly the creatures, as one of the actors even says, don't even look anything like the "hell-hounds" which is what, apparently, the script says they are supposed to be. The whole idea is poorly conceived, though if it had been allowed to be more funny too, might have had a chance. It isn't tho, so the monster-stuff pretty much falls flat throughout.

Also, makeup effects are pretty dismal throughout, and involve mostly a lot of chocolate-syrup blood (or is it just plain chocolate syrup?) being poured all over people who are supposed to be getting killed. A lot of the deaths look the same and one appliance worn by a main character who lives through some brutality is actually even loose and separated from her face most of the time is worn. Sloppy stuff there; invest in some spirit gum or pros-aide, guys.

So the whole deal here, yes, is very uneven, but if you look at it as a spoof you will get some entertainment out of it, and me saying that is not some member of the crew saying that is what a movie that actually entirely sucks was "supposed to be all along." As I mentioned before, parts of this thing are really funny IF you don't watch it in serious-mode, which, from the opening scene involving the turkey-man attack, is clearly not something that you're intended to do. But then it looks like you ARE supposed to take it seriously and you don't know if you are doing the right thing when you do so or not. And this is the movie's inherent problem. It shifts in tone too widely throughout for it to be entirely acceptable.

I wonder what might have happened if they had just left out the preposterous "real" horror story in this thing which is just not in any way acceptable and just filmed a comedy about the frustrated director and incompetent, whining, ridiculous actors trying to make their fictional horror movie and just goofing up in every way possible, jumping each others' bones, having to be replaced when someone leaves, etc. Sometimes just doing one thing well is better than trying to do 4 things at once and not being able to pull them all off successfully.

I'm not sorry I saw this and may even go back to it again to see if I can catch more funny stuff I didn't before, because the comedy parts of it are funny; the filmmakers clearly have a sense of humor and that is the best thing about MONSTERS IN THE WOODS. The "horror" business mostly doesn't work tho, because the "idea" is too involved & fantastic for the filmmakers to be able to pull off. Have to hand it to the people who made this for trying, tho.


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