Justin Russo: Guys! Guys, is the mail here yet?
Theresa Russo: Ah, Justin. You have been so anxious about the mail all week, honey. It's just a dollar twenty-five rebate on maple syrup. Give him two fifty to get him to stop talking about it, Jerry.
Jerry Russo: I don't carry that kind of cash! How 'bout half a banana?
Jerry Russo: [to Alex and Justin] It looks like you're both winners.
Theresa Russo: Jerry, I don't think you understand; now they have to work together.
Jerry Russo: Oh my gosh, we're all losers!
Jerry Russo: Look, before you guys start working together, I want to make one thing perfectly clear: Do not come to your mother and me with your problems.
Theresa Russo: That's right. It's not that we don't care; it's just that this seems like a regular brother and sister kind of problem, not 'there's a black hole in the Sub Station sucking in the universe' kind of problem.
Alex Russo: When are you gonna let that go?
Theresa Russo: When someone finds my storage box, full of my Christmas sweaters.
Alex Russo: I don't think the black hole got rid of those.
Jerry Russo: No, it was the black hole.
Justin Russo: There are no evil queens in Jim Bob's world.
Alex Russo: There's always an evil queen. Sometimes she's the head cheerleader; sometimes she's the fairytale stepmother; sometimes she's your sister.
Alex Russo: Oh, look, a review for the comic book.
Justin Russo: Ooh.
Alex Russo: [reads] "In the new issue of 'Captain Jim Bob Sherwood's Adventures'"...
Justin Russo: Oh-ho.
Alex Russo: -"the baton has been passed on to a new artistic team."
Justin Russo: That's us!
Alex Russo: "Sherwood is sucked into an alternate frontier that's riddled with crime and food he's never encountered before."
Justin Russo: Hunh.
Alex Russo: "He rescues Jessica Moon and returns to Farmtown with an intergalactic recipe for fajitas."
Justin Russo: Fajitas.
Alex Russo: "The Russo sisters, Alex and Justine, have taken over the reins with flair."
Justin Russo: What! Did you say Justine!
Alex Russo: Wow! Sometimes I don't have to do anything, and I still win.
Justin Russo: I'm going to write a strongly worded letter to the reviewer.
Alex Russo: Yeah, good luck with that, sis.