- Anthony DiNozzo: How'd we end up doing a Navy cop's job for him?
- Detective Danny Price: Cause he's smarter than us.
- Anthony DiNozzo: Mmm. More devious - maybe. I don't know about smarter.
- Detective Danny Price: I kind of liked him actually.
- Anthony DiNozzo: Who'd want to be a Navy cop? I'd rather have the plague.
- Anthony DiNozzo: I don't know what I'm going to do. Maybe being a cop isn't for me.
- [Gibbs slaps the back of DiNozzo's head]
- Anthony DiNozzo: Huh? Did you just physically assault me?
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: I don't have a lot of rules. But rule #5 is, "you don't waste good." You're good.
- Anthony DiNozzo: Thanks... don't make a habit of that.
- [DiNozzo realizes they're by Human Resources]
- Anthony DiNozzo: Did I mention you're a devious man, Gibbs?
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: "Boy, I got vision and the rest of the world is wearing bifocals."
- Anthony DiNozzo: Butch Cassidy. That's nice.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: [Reading McGee's report] "Retinal scanner uses wave-front sensing reflection points. "
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Heh.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: "Correlates the data using 8 point spread function."
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Yeah.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: "Rasterizes the pupil. Conjugate geometry."
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Was I too technical?
- [Gibbs drops the report in the trash]
- Abby Sciuto: What if the killer's trying to tell us he's gonna come after our friends? I mean, Tony knew the victim.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Not just Tony. I knew him, too.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Look, I'm just saying that I think Tony is more upset than he's letting on.
- Ziva David: Yes, but he and his partner have not spoken in years.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Okay, let's say you and I haven't spoken in years. And I get my throat slit by a serial killer.
- Ziva David: I would hunt him down and make him regret the day he was born! You're not just any partner, McGee.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Neither is Tony.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: That was the plan. Until you screwed it up.
- Anthony DiNozzo: [laugh] Me? Listen here. You're the one that didn't tell the department that your, uh, N-C-I-S was running an op.
- Detective Danny Price: Or read our dispatch. We had a BOLO out on Joey for two days.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Yeah, I know.
- Anthony DiNozzo: You knew?... Well then, what the hell were you doing, running around risking -?
- [Tony laughs in realization]
- Anthony DiNozzo: Really? You wanted to get arrested. We didn't screw anything up for him. You're a new face on the street. What's the best way to earn instant bona fides than, uh - getting pinched?
- [DiNozzo chuckles]
- Anthony DiNozzo: A Navy guy. I don't like getting played. Having said that, well played. Very Donnie Brasco, actually.
- Dr. Donald Mallard: [about the murder victim] Did he have any previous Naval experience?
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: He was a reservist before he joined the police.
- Dr. Donald Mallard: I suppose it is possible that Anthony's relation to him is, uh... merely coincidental.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: You wanna bet, Duck?
- Dr. Donald Mallard: Nothing I care to lose.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [Taking a suspect into custody] You have the right to remain silent or I can shut you up myself!
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Take it easy, DiNozzo.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: You also have the right to an attorney so he can tell you how you weren't hugged enough as a child.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I'm more worried about Abby's theory that the Port-to-Port killer's targeting our friends. Can't protect them all.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: We protect them by catching the killer - same as you did before.
- Ziva David: [after interviewing a cracked-out junkie who saw the getaway car] That was a waste! He had nothing to add to his statement about the robbery at the bakery. And I'm not going back in there unless it is absolutely fumigated!
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Twice.
- Dr. Donald Mallard: Jethro! Oh, thank goodness I found you.
- [walks past the interrogation room]
- Dr. Donald Mallard: Whoa! Wh-what is that smell?
- Abby Sciuto: How on Earth did you -?
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Rule #35.
- Abby Sciuto, Special Agent Timothy McGee: Always watch the watchers.
- Anthony DiNozzo: [as he's chasing a suspect] I have a degree in Physical Education! I played varsity basketball at Ohio State! This isn't going to end well for you! Your money-laundering days...
- [DiNozzo runs into the street and into a moving car. He gets up quickly continues the pursuit]
- Anthony DiNozzo: -Are over!
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Can you imagine having to arrest Gibbs?
- Ziva David: [scoffs] I would rather arrest my father. And I still might have to one day, for that matter.
- Anthony DiNozzo: Everybody? I just want you to know that I'm a little disappointed. PCP addicts are Friday night. It's Saturday night, which is Hooker Night! Where are the hookers?
- Sapphire: [Entering] Hey, Tony!
- [all the cops cat-call and whistle]
- Anthony DiNozzo: I mean the call girls. Hi, Sapphire.
- Sapphire: When's the big day?
- Anthony DiNozzo: Uh, thanks for those Christmas decorations.
- Sapphire: No problem, babe.
- Anthony DiNozzo: [as DiNozzo is chasing a suspect] Freeze dirtbag! You can't out run me. I'm wearing tube socks!
- [DiNozzo tackles the suspect, revealing it's Gibbs. Gibbs punches him and DiNozzo pulls out his weapon]
- Anthony DiNozzo: I said freeze, dirtbag!
- Detective Danny Price: Oh. Hey, look. I think this is for you.
- [Hands Tony a fortune cookie]
- Anthony DiNozzo: [laughs] "Love is for the lucky and the brave." Why is that for me?
- Detective Danny Price: Hey, man, asking your High School Music teacher out qualifies as brave in my book.
- Anthony DiNozzo: Wendy asked me out, remember?
- Detective Danny Price: See, that's why you can dress like that. 'Cause you're good-looking. But one of these days, the looks are gonna run out.
- Anthony DiNozzo: I plan to be safely married by then, Danny.
- Detective Danny Price: Well, if not, you might want to consider a new wardrobe. Seriously. Yeah, with the right clothes, you'd be unstoppable.
- Anthony DiNozzo: What's that supposed to mean?
- [flashback to 2001]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [chasing a suspect] You can't outrun me, I'm wearing tube socks!
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Pacci, you get that other thing for me?
- NCIS Agent Chris Pacci: Yeah. Detective DiNozzo's personnel file right here.
- [Pacci puts the file on Gibbs's desk]
- NCIS Agent Chris Pacci: You need anything else? Because I gotta head to the Infirmary. My ulcer's killing me again. I'm telling you, this stomach is going to be the death of me.
- Ziva David: Can you identify these?
- Dao Huang: Looks like one of mine. It has my logo. See?
- [shows them a baking tray]
- Dao Huang: I bake it in... but the coloring is wrong, and that is not one of my sayings. That cookie is a forgery.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Do you have any employees that might have made it?
- Dao Huang: No, I do all the printing myself. Where'd you get this cookie?
- Ziva David: We found it at a crime scene.
- Dao Huang: Hmm... could have been made from one of the trays taken in the robbery.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Robbery?
- Dao Huang: Five weeks ago, someone broke in and took my safe and some equipment.
- [lowers voice]
- Dao Huang: This business can be quite cutthroat. Most people don't know that.
- Ziva David: Do the police have any suspects?
- Dao Huang: They took a report, some evidence... and they ate a half a case of cookies. I'm not expecting much.
- Dao Huang: [Russian accent] Can I help you?
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: [shows his badge] Yes, I'm Agent McGee, NCIS. This is my partner, Agent David.
- Ziva David: We're looking for Dao Huang.
- Dao Huang: Well, you found him.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: [raises eyebrows] Your name is Dao Huang?
- Dao Huang: [irritably] Try looking at a map sometimes, okay? China is right next to Russia. My parents immigrated from Beijing, I was adopted in Kiev, we moved to D.C.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Okay...
- Dao Huang: Is it any stranger than an American with an Irish name? Have you ever been to Ireland?
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: I-I have not. That's a very good point, I'm sorry.
- Anthony DiNozzo: [Walks off elevator and into the bullpen] Hey, guys! Tell me you've seen it.
- Ziva David: And good morning to you, too, Tony.
- Anthony DiNozzo: Actually it's the worst morning in the history of mornings. My phone! Tell me you've seen it.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Lost your cell, huh? Ouch.
- Ziva David: Well, you are a very capable investigator. Why don't you just investigate.
- Anthony DiNozzo: Yes.
- [Proceeds to yank out the drawers from his desk, pouring all the contents onto the floor]
- Ziva David: [Gibbs walks in and stares at Tony, who freezes and stares back] Uh, Tony is just...
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: I don't want to know.
- [Tony tosses aside the empty drawer and carries on searching]
- Dr. Donald Mallard: And for the grand finale...
- [Ducky rips open the plastic covering the body, Tony prepares to take a photo but stops when he sees the face]
- Dr. Donald Mallard: ... a six-centimeter cut ear to ear, severing the carotid artery. Our killer is nothing if not consistent.
- Ziva David: Is there anything wrong, Tony?
- Anthony DiNozzo: Yeah. I know him.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Who is he?
- Anthony DiNozzo: He's my old partner.
- Dr. Donald Mallard: Yeah, all of the prior victims were in perfect health. But this one suffered from a severe alcohol-induced cirrhosis. He must've had... quite a drinking problem.
- Anthony DiNozzo: Not when I knew him, but, uh... a few years after I left for NCIS, I know that... he was asked to retire.
- Dr. Donald Mallard: I see.
- Anthony DiNozzo: Yeah, um... Came from money, not that he ever saw much of it. His dad... wasn't around much and his mom died when he was a kid.
- Dr. Donald Mallard: So you and he had quite a lot in common. I'm surprised I never heard you mention him.
- Anthony DiNozzo: Well, you know how it is. You lose touch, time goes by. Too much time, in this case.
- Dr. Donald Mallard: And when it's gone, you can never get it back.
- Anthony DiNozzo: Well, it's confirmed, he's a cop. A Navy cop. Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs.
- Detective Danny Price: Oops. We're sorry. Maybe next time, you'll remember your identification.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: You don't do a lot of undercover work, do you?
- Anthony DiNozzo: Do you? You just got arrested.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: I let you arrest me.
- Anthony DiNozzo: Let?
- [laughs]
- Anthony DiNozzo: Who you kidding? I chased you half a block, and I had you like a gazelle on the Serengeti. Am I wrong?
- Detective Danny Price: No.
- Anthony DiNozzo: No. So what am I supposed to call you, Special Agent, uh, Leroy?
- Detective Danny Price: Mm-hmm?
- Anthony DiNozzo: Jethro?
- Detective Danny Price: Jethro? Mm
- Anthony DiNozzo: That's a little Beverly Hillbillies. Gibbs it is, I guess.
- Anthony DiNozzo: [as Danny shows off his new tattoo] Does it really go with the suit, though?
- Detective Danny Price: Oh, it's - it's Nino Cerruti.
- Anthony DiNozzo: Cerr-uti...
- Detective Danny Price: Forgive me if I don't take fashion advice from a man who still wears tube socks.
- Anthony DiNozzo: What's the matter with tube socks? They're very comfortable, and they give you traction.
- Detective Danny Price: For what?
- Tweaking Addict: Get off of me!
- Anthony DiNozzo: [an addict breaks loose of a patrolman and charges through the squadroom. Tony gives his chair a shove with his foot, sending it into the addict's path and sending him crashing to the floor] Yeesh. Ow.
- Detective Danny Price: You didn't need tube socks for that.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: DiNozzo.
- [Tony is crawling by his desk]
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: What the hell are you doing?
- Anthony DiNozzo: I lost my phone. You haven't seen it?
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: [Pulls out a phone and throws it to Tony] Use mine.
- Anthony DiNozzo: [Looks at the phone] Wow, that's heavy. I need something with a computer on it so I can program ringtones. Otherwise I don't... 'Cause I have a... It's ringing.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Answer it.
- Anthony DiNozzo: Special Agent Gibbs' desk. This is Very Special Agent Anthony DiNo... Oh, hey. Where? Okay. Dead guy. Navy Lodge.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Let's go.
- Anthony DiNozzo: [Tosses phone back to Gibbs] Here you go.
- [Gibbs offers it back to him]
- Anthony DiNozzo: That's very nice of you, but I'm good.
- Dr. Donald Mallard: [Talking to the body of Detective Price] I imagine you and Anthony were quite close. And as partners, your very lives depended on your trust in one another. Yeah, I'd hate to be in your killer's shoes when Anthony's catch up with him.
- Detective Danny Price: This fell out of your jacket.
- [Hands him a ring box]
- Detective Danny Price: Hmm? You planning to propose to Wendy or something?
- Anthony DiNozzo: Actually, I already did.
- Detective Danny Price: What?
- Anthony DiNozzo: Yeah. I got to take it back and get it resized, though.
- [Looks at ring]
- Anthony DiNozzo: Evidently, it's a little small.
- Detective Danny Price: Well... so she said...
- Anthony DiNozzo: She said yes, you smart-ass.
- Detective Danny Price: And you were going to tell me this when?
- Anthony DiNozzo: I haven't told anybody.
- Detective Danny Price: In case she said no?
- Anthony DiNozzo: No. I just wanted to tell her first before I told anyone else.
- Detective Danny Price: Okay. Okay. Well, congrats, man. Excellent.
- Anthony DiNozzo: Thanks.