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"NCIS" Two-Faced (TV Episode 2011) Poster

(TV Series)

(2011)

Quotes

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [having just met Ziva's boyfriend] So it's not Renaissance Ray, it's CIA Ray. He's CI-Ray.

Special Agent Timothy McGee: You really should get that checked out. It's like a bad tic or something.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [bumping into Ziva and Ray] Ziva. CI-Ray.

Ziva David: Stop calling him that.

Ziva David: We are meeting in New York next weekend. He's taking me to the opera.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: The opera? Wow. Does his boyfriend know about you?

Ziva David: [Ziva chuckles] No, but his mom does.

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Ziva David: I'm not hiding anything. Ray knows all about you.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Again. Why haven't we met him?

Ziva David: Because Ray knows all about you.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I'm not the one you should be worried about, right?

[Gibbs enters in the deep background and aproaches the group]

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I've seen men of steel melt from a mere glance from Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

[Gibbs stands right behind DiNozzo]

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: That flinty steel-eyed stare that makes those men turn into sniveling girls.

[In a high pitch]

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: "Oh, I'm so sc-

[DiNozzo realize Gibbs is behind him]

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Morning Boss.

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Dr. Donald Mallard: Native Americans designed their pole so that the lower you were on it, the higher they held you in esteem. Calling someone "low man on the totem pole" is in fact a compliment.

Jimmy Palmer: So all these years, Gibbs has been complimenting me?

Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: [Gibbs enters] Oh, I wouldn't go that far, Palmer.

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Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: She's a tough nut to crack. But you know, once you navigate past that Mossad influenced exterior, and her inability to grasp cultural references - she's great.

Ray Cruz: I'm in love with her. That's why I'm here.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: To tell her?... When are you going to do that?

Ray Cruz: I don't know - tonight, tomorrow - soon. You know, feels good to - finally let it out.

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Abby Sciuto: No - it's just - change, Gibbs. Change makes me itch. It always has. It's - it's Agent Barret. I'm - not a fan. I mean - of change. Her

[Abby stutters]

Abby Sciuto: I don't mind. She's - feisty for someone so small. Um and I like that. Not that I like her, because I don't really.

Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Abby.

Abby Sciuto: Not like I like you.

Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Abs.

Abby Sciuto: I just - I like

Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Abs.

Abby Sciuto: Our family the way it is.

[Gibbs hugs Abby]

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Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: [Entering Interrogation] Starting without me, Special Agent Barret?

NCIS Special Agent E.J. Barrett: Oh, just getting settled in.

Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: [Gibbs puts the file down. Then whispers to Barret] You're in my chair.

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NCIS Special Agent E.J. Barrett: Are you questioning whether I know what I'm doing, Agent Gibbs?

Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: No ma'am. I'm questioning the way you do it.

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Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I'm telling you, you mess with the great white, you're gonna get eaten.

NCIS Special Agent E.J. Barrett: I'm not afraid of him.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: That's you're first mistake.

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Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I've seen a few directors come and go. But there's only been one - Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Do the math.

NCIS Special Agent E.J. Barrett: Yeah. And there's only one Anthony DiNozzo.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Actually, there are two.

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Ziva David: Oh my gosh! You want to see me overreact, Ray? Why don't you tell me another lie? Why don't you tell me the sky is yellow? Why don't you tell me that water is not wet or that sand is not dry? Why don't you tell me you love me?

Ray Cruz: I love you. I love you, Ziva.

Ziva David: I don't believe you.

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Jimmy Palmer: [as they're defrosting a body] Heat wave in autopsy. Guess there really is global warming.

Dr. Donald Mallard: [Groans] Autopsy is indeed topsy-turvy today, Mr. Palmer.

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NCIS Special Agent E.J. Barrett: It's not against NCIS policy to date co-workers.

Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: It's against *my* policy. This team operates on respect.

NCIS Special Agent E.J. Barrett: You don't respect me.

Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: No, I don't trust you.

NCIS Special Agent E.J. Barrett: Really?

Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Really. Except to work the case, leave my team alone. We clear?

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Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: That's my room.

NCIS Special Agent E.J. Barrett: Vance put me in charge.

Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Vance isn't here.

NCIS Special Agent E.J. Barrett: I'm trying to establish that he was in all four cities at the same time of the murders.

Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Focus on Balfour. That's our body. That's our evidence. That's our case.

NCIS Special Agent E.J. Barrett: This is a multiple murder case!

Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Start by pinning one murder on him, and then connect the others. That's how it's done.

NCIS Special Agent E.J. Barrett: Maybe that's the old school way.

Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: That's *my* way.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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