The Boondocks (TV Series)

A Date with the Booty Warrior (2010)

Carl Jones: The Booty Warrior, Prisoner

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  [title superimposed: The following footage is an excerpt from NBC's "To Catch a Predator" originally filmed in 2005. The episode never aired] 

  [We fade in to a view of a door from the interior of a house. In walks The Booty Warrior. He walks down the hallway towards the kitchen] 

  Kid : [off-screen]  Hold on I just got out of the shower, there's some juice on the table!

  [the Booty Warrior sits down in front of the table] 

  The Booty Warrior : Mhmm, take your time.

  [We hear the clicking of a door being opened. Chris Hanson walks in to the room. The Booty Warrior pays him no attention] 

  Chris Hansen : You want to explain to me what you're doing here?

  The Booty Warrior : I came looking for booty.

  Chris Hansen : You came looking for sex, with an under-age boy?

  The Booty Warrior : Oh, nah, I ain't come looking for no little boys. I ain't got no milk, no cookies, nothing. I came looking for *man's butt*.

  Chris Hansen : A "man's butt"? Excuse me?

  The Booty Warrior : [finally faces Chris]  Oh I know who you are, Chris Hanson, but see I-I calls you Chris Handsome. I watch your TV show all the time. So, you can go ahead bring in them cameras and polices waiting outside. It don't make me no difference. Now, I tell you what... I likes ya and I wants ya. Now we can do this the easy way, or we can do it the hard way - the choice is yours.

  Chris Hansen : Well I don't think you and I will be doing anything, any-kind of way.

  The Booty Warrior : Ok, I-I see you choosin' the hard way.

  Chris Hansen : [off-screen]  Okay, cut! This isn't working, someone get this guy...

  [the Booty Warrior tackles Chris and pins him to the table] 

  The Booty Warrior : Don't make me ruin the butt Chris! I'm a warrior!

  [Chris Hanson screams as The Booty Warrior seemingly "ruins the butt"] 

• The Booty Warrior : I likes ya.

  2nd Prisoner : He likes ya!

  The Booty Warrior : And I wants ya.

  2nd Prisoner : He wants ya!

  The Booty Warrior : Now we can do this the easy way or we can do this the hard way.

  2nd Prisoner : Pray, Tom, pray!