In order to restore their dying safe haven, the son of Poseidon and his friends embark on a quest to the Sea of Monsters to find the mythical Golden Fleece while trying to stop an ancient evil from rising.
Brandon T. Jackson
After a beloved King vanishes, his ruthless wife seizes control of the kingdom and keeps her beautiful 18-year-old stepdaughter, Snow White, hidden away in the palace. But when the princess attracts the attention of a charming and wealthy visiting prince, the jealous Queen banishes the girl to a nearby forest. Taken in by a band of rebellious but kindhearted dwarfs, Snow White blossoms into a brave young woman determined to save her country from the Queen. With the support of her new friends, she roars into action to reclaim her birthright and win back her Prince in this magical adventure comedy that will capture the hearts and imaginations of audiences the world over. Written by
Relativity Media publicity
The sign outside the dwarves' house reads "no entry over 4 feet". At least 4 of the dwarves are over 4 feet, including Butcher, who has the line, "I say never trust anyone over 4 feet". He's 4'1. See more »
Around 18 minutes of this film, in the forest, as the Prince is bidding adieu to Snow White, He was first standing on the left side of his companion, Charles. One second later, he was standing on the right side of Charles. See more »
Snow White is dead. One of God's great mysteries is his plan for each and every one of us...
Speed it up.
Snow White lived, she died, God rest her soul, Amen. There will be a buffet lunch served at two.
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Back in my younger days, when I was 9 or 10 years old, I would always watch and enjoy The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show. I think back, with fond memories of my favorite part of that show, a segment called Fractured Fairy Tales. Narrated by Edward Everett Horton, these cartoons were various modernized send-ups of familiar children stories with a wicked comic bent and clever irony to them. I bring up this experience because Mirror, Mirror, a film meant to captivate children and adults alike, tries to capture that same humor and inventiveness, but fails miserably. The film is still fractured, but it is also dull, contrived, and extremely unfunny. Where's Edward Everett Horton when you need him?
Mirror, Mirror takes the Snow White folktale and skews it ever-so-safely, rather then going to extremes which a fairy tale can and should do. The film has enough style with its bright production design and sets by Tom Foden and its lavish costumes by the late Eiko Ishioka. Those are its few pluses, the minuses, however, are too numerous to name, but I'll start anyway with most of the blame going to its director.
The film's director got his start directing music videos, under the name Tarsem. He then graduated to feature films where his trademark use of lavish costumes, colorful sets, and an over-dependence of CGI under the name Tarsem Singh singled him out. Now, taking his full birthname, Tarsem Singh Dhandwar, he has outdone himself yet again by making one of the worst films of this movie season. ( And I thought Immortals was bad! ) Perhaps, by changing his name slightly, he hopes to have a fresh start in the minds of discriminating moviegoers. Not a chance! His films have gotten progressively worse. The man certainly has a wonderful visual sense; it's just that he has no common sense when it comes to selecting woeful scripts.
Now let's look at the script: writing credits include the Brothers Grimm ( which I'm sure they would have requested their names removed from this project ), Jason Keller, and Melissa Wallack. The writers follow the conventional formula with some updating of the well-known material and they try to add some humor, mostly sophomoric, and wry remarks that are so tired and forced. Their dialog weighs down the action and rarely advances the plot. Characters are one-note and lines fall flat, and speaking of flatlining, let's discuss the acting.
Julia Roberts plays the evil stepmother and ambitious Queen without much finesse and charm. She never achieves any real menace as the villainess. Her distinct phrasing and speech pattern vacillates and her comic timing is off too. She underplays the character when it should have been more outrageously acted. ( This just may be her worst performance ever, although I did miss Charlie Thorne. ) Lily Collins, looking like a second-rate Leslie Caron, has no real charisma as our spunky heroine, Snow, although Frida Kahlo would be envious of her beauty. The talented Nathan Lane, as Brighton the Queen's servant, is totally wasted as he minces around the palace, delivering his lines like an young effeminate Bob Hope. The dwarfs, renamed Napoleon, Half Pint ( get the humor? ), Grub, Wolf, Butcher, Grimm, and Chuckles, are innocuous at best, and not the least bit memorable. Only Armie Hammer as the Prince brings a light comic flair to his role as the studly suitor.
There is no happily-ever-after feeling when the movie finally ends, although the filmmakers try (and almost succeed in the closing credits ) with a Bollywood wedding number that, at least, has some energy. Mirror, Mirror is awful, awful. GRADE: D+
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