The Taint (2011) Poster


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Best movie about exploding penises ever
citizen_toxie13 September 2011
With The Taint, it seems clear that Drew Bodluc has conquered the explodingpenisploitation genre. Though clearly inspired by Troma's brand of humor, Bodluc captures a tone that is at different times wacky, emotional, exciting, and above all fresh. With performances that can only be described as "special," the film weaves an interesting story of misogyny gone amok. After a taint in the water turns every man into raving woman killers, Phil O'Ginny (Bodluc) faces the world women being dismembered and killed in a number of ways. The main attraction here, though, is the music. With songs that sound ripped straight out of an Italian slasher movie, The Taint's action scenes are just so joyful to watch. If there was ever a rhythm to penises exploding, Bodluc has found it.

It's interesting that this film was made for such a low budget, because it has a very polished feel. Gore effects are gooey, the cinematography has a very cool feel, and the music, again, is phenomenal. Many horror movies these days resort to using the "grindhouse" approach and simply mining the supposed "wackiness" of the films of the 1980s. The Taint, though, proves that there's still originality left in the penis explosion genre.
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Turn off you brain and enjoy
miss_deth_addict28 May 2011
Warning: Spoilers
Seriously the guys who made this movie probably spend all their money on yogurt and fake dicks and the story made little sense (but still more sense than Dark floors if you ask me).

This movie has the type of script you would write during an evening packed with alcohol and stupid friends (and you should probably watch it during such an evening to fully enjoy it). It lacks in originality but not in laugh value, we laughed almost all the way trough, this movie wont make you grow or make you look smarter because you watched it but if you enjoyed the easy jokes in South Park and the like you might find yourself laughing quite a few time.

It's just a movie you shouldn't analyze too much because the people who made it probably just did it for the "LULZ".
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Outrageous Amateur Horror Penis. Err, I mean Movie!
Coventry27 March 2011
"The Taint" is a textbook example of an amateur horror movie made by a bunch of over-enthusiast film fanatics that spent way too much time watching 80's junk in their basements. These are the people who watched stuff like "The Dead Next Door", "Street Trash" and maybe even Peter Jackson's "Bad Taste" over and over again whilst promising each other they would make their own movie like that one day. Basically I don't have anything against this type of Z-grade cinema, but I reckon it's a lot more fun to be part of making the film than to actually watch it. "The Taint" is an unbelievably gross, disgusting and offensive bunch of nonsense. Think about Troma's most notorious titles, but multiply the nausea by ten. Writer/director/lead actor Drew Bolduc obviously suffers from an unhealthy obsession for the male reproductive organ. There's an immeasurable amount of fake penises in this film, mostly just hanging out of people's pants or squirting thick white goo into other people's faces. For you see, the water supply is contaminated and turns all the men into zombie-like misogynist monsters with only one remaining purpose in life: smash in the head of every woman that crosses their path. The taint was initially a miracle potion developed by two nerdy scientists who wanted to enlarge their own penis, but a few things went wrong. One of the last remaining uninfected males is high-school stoner Phil O'Ginny, but he needs the help of dominant battle-ax Misandra to survive. Drew Bolduc and his buddies tried really hard to put as many provocative themes into their film. There's scat, teenage abortion with a coat hanger, gang rape, Nazi propaganda and various other filth. The images are never shocking, though, since the whole thing is just too ludicrous. Unfortunately the vast majority of the film is dull and stupid, especially since all characters (even the most insignificant supportive ones) insist on telling their boring life stories during idiotic and irrelevant flashbacks. Strangely – and surprisingly - enough, "The Taint" isn't all too awful from a more technical point of view. With this type of amateur junk, I expect to see dodgy hand-held camera-work and lousy hyperactive editing, but this one is relatively well-made and decent. The acting performances are horrendous, but that's obligatory and part of the charm. The gore and splatter effects, on the other hand, are quite stupendous! I presume 99% of the non- existent budget went straight to fake blood and make-up. With all the computer engineered crap nowadays, the grossness in "The Taint" was more than praiseworthy. Avid fans of trash and schlock will have a great time tracking down this sick puppy. Personally, I thought it was okay, but it could have used less idiocy and a lot less penises.
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The Taint is a fusion of David Lynch's art house sensibility with Troma's campy, cartoon violence and storytelling
Rondal Scott17 February 2011
In true Troma style, Drew Bolduc and Dan Nelson's The Taint introduces us to a post-apocalyptic world full of "incredibly strange (misogynists) who stopped living and became mixed-up zombies" and, to be sure, plenty of penis explosions, gender conflicts, and ludicrous violence abound. However, most shocking perhaps, is that the Troma brand is nowhere to be found. That's right, Bolduc has gone completely underground with this little gem of germ warfare and it's been causing quite the ripple effect on horror websites all across the 'net.

If that tidbit wasn't enough to sway your interest, then perhaps the knowledge that Bolduc accomplished this feat "outside of the studio system (and) with very little money" thanks in part to his local art community and students from VCU can convince you this is one indie head trip worth visiting. Oh, and did I mention that Bolduc plays the starring role of Phil O'Ginny who is equal parts McLovin from Superbad and Johnny Rotten from Sex Pistols? Well he does AND it features a soundtrack that could have come from an 80s New Wave music video.

The plot, while simple enough- the world's water supply has been tainted, causing men to revert to cavemen-style bouts of rage-fueled ejaculations, it doesn't leave much room to catch up as it kicks right off with O'Ginny on the run from some slack-jawed hillbilly with a scythe who proceeds to toss around a severed penis before dropping a nasty deuce in his long johns. This leads to a rather creative use of stock video footage during the opening credits to explain how the world caught "the taint." Again, I cannot emphasis enough here just how much the music added to the film with a catchy, synthesized beat that perfectly captures the mood of the film like very few other independent films have.

O'Ginny is actually an interesting and multi-faceted character, between the constant switching of sunglasses and his propensity for being at the wrong place at the wrong time, though he certainly doesn't carry the entire film alone. He's aided primarily by Misandra,played by Colleen Walsh, who is on a quest of vengeance to "kill all men" after she was forced to cave in her husband's skull before removing and fondling his brain.

In fact, there's an entire gamut of bodily functions on display during the film courtesy of Chris Bolduc, Billy Davis, and Dan Nelson on special effects. From spewing penis explosions to gloriously metaphor-laden head smashing, The Taint pulls absolutely no punches and is relentlessly non-apologetic for the carnage that unfolds (though the bents of dark humor throughout offer some reprieve form the discomfort). There's also the flaying of skin, splitting of heads, eye-gouging, and ample references to A Clockwork Orange.

Certainly a film that requires multiple viewings to fully understand, The Taint is a fusion of David Lynch's art house sensibility with Troma's campy, cartoon violence and storytelling and although you're welcome to watch it alone it's definitely more fun with a group of friends and lots of beer.
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The Taint (NSFW)
monique-snyman2 October 2011
Warning: Spoilers
How can one begin to review a film that's so vulgar, so politically incorrect and so very… cocky? I've tried to think about how to make this review "reader friendly", but it's been quite a difficult task especially when one gets to watch a sausage fest on your television for the whole duration of the film. I tried to think of some quirky title for the review, but it simply fell short and didn't do the movie justice, so I'll try to be as gentle as possible with this review, but I can't promise that I'll behave.

The Taint starts off with… well it starts off with me putting the DVD into the DVD player and seeing an intro of a head surrounded by penises, which by the look of it was very reminiscent of the 80's. Then the movie starts and again, we have a lot of cocks on screen… some getting severed throughout the film, others just ejaculating continuously. Now at first one would think this movie makes no sense apart for being just blood and sex, but one would be wrong… I think. It was quite difficult to find the actual plot in between all the male anatomy, but what I could find was that it's a story about a misogynist that basically hates himself after being forced to perform something rather shocking on his ex-girlfriend, this includes a coat hanger, soap and a condom. However, that's not the main focus of the film. The Taint is about a couple of scientists that discovers a concentrated form of penile fluids that makes the penis larger, for longer. It's basically better than Viagra. However there are side effects to this "miracle cure for males everywhere". These men kind of go crazy after using this concentrated "Viagra", in the sense of, they torture anything wearing a skirt and then gruesomely kills them.

Of course, what can we expect from a film that's so low-budget looking, so horribly bad, so… so… Okay, no, I'm sorry, I kind of enjoyed seeing all the penis mutilation and cum shots and yes, I know I'm quite a perverted puppy. I mean, it's freaking hilarious and gross and it's everything a person wants in a bad horror movie! There's this one scene that's so homosexually enticing, that I actually wondered whether or not the directors, Drew Bolduc and Dan Nelson, were closet gays! I loved it!

Now, other than that rather prolonged scene of a guy in tight yellow hotpants, we have a lot of blood and gore. Sure, penis mutilation makes any feminist happy (I'm not a feminist, I just enjoy seeing men cringe whenever junior gets cut off), but it's hardly one-sided gore. In other words, you can expect seeing brains, a lot of blood, a few faces being ripped off, and an incredibly funny scene where a poor lady gets sawed in half. To round it all off we have semen, a hell of a lot of semen. There's so much semen present in The Taint that a porn star would blush!

The Taint went out to make a bad horror movie that would shock and disturb, it succeeded in both and will surely become a cult classic faster than one could say: "Does anyone have a coat hanger?"

If you are smart and enjoy seeing a lot of gore, the disgusting and some male anatomy being cut or shot off, then by all means, be prepared to be disgusted and enthralled by The Taint. It's funny and stupid and goofy and no, it won't win an Oscar. I guess that's what makes it so brilliant in the end.
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sacbrina18 November 2011
Warning: Spoilers
This is the biggest piece of cinematic trash to have been release since Leonard part 6. Though there is a market for the unknown film makers and their low budget films (and some have been fantastic)this was just ridiculous. The plot was terrible, the acting was terrible, and the amount of money spent on fake penises in this film must have eaten up more than half the entire budget. I will say that the some of the make up was done well. Also the soundtrack was not awful. Unfortunately these are the only strong point of this film. There seemed to be more interest in getting a rise out people with brutal murder scenes and excessive nudity.
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Tries too hard to be shocking
Dan Franzen (dfranzen70)2 February 2011
When you're writing about an independent, low-budget movie, it's important to keep things in perspective and lower expectations. Remember that unknown filmmakers can certainly make good, even great films, but that them majority of these efforts will be highly flawed by definition. Bearing that in mind, there is essentially nothing to recommend about The Taint, a purported horror movie with an incoherent plot, rigid acting, and (sadly) despicable gore that looks like it was shot on a Fisher-Price My First Movie Camera.

Even mainstream horror movies can be pretty simplistic in terms of story. People go into dark, isolated place and become terrorized by one or more deranged persons, masked or not. The key creativity in the most basic horror movies is in the various ways that characters meet their demise. Set the movie in a slaughterhouse, or maybe just a grocery store, then use the environment's objects to cause mayhem. But in The Taint, even this simplicity is completely derailed, with a storyline that is at times incomprehensible. And the worst part is that it just didn't need to be so.

The title refers to tainted water. Somehow (it's explained in the film) the water supply has been tainted so that the males who drink it become homicidal maniacs – but only toward women. Okay. It's plausible. Nothing wrong with the premise, but it's about the only not-wrong thing in the movie. Anyway, women are killed in various disgusting, gruesome ways, and I don't mean the typical Hollywood-overkill methods, either; these kills are so over the top that the guy behind Hostel thought it was too much. (Note: not really.) Heads are splattered with rocks and other objects or shotgunned, splitting the skull in twain.

Now, like I said, perspective is everything. It would be terribly unfair to compare this movie with full-fledged studio pictures. You have a fairly inexperienced cast with a fairly low budget. Directors Drew Bolduc and Dan Nelson did do a lot with a little; the trouble is that they also did a little with a little. That is, the special effects aren't bad, and neither are the kick-ass soundtrack or the inventive opening credits. But perhaps they spent all their money on those areas and just plain didn't bother with such niceties as plot, character development, and so on. Oh, and acting lessons.

I suppose if you must see one people-driven-crazy-by-water movie, and The Crazies isn't available, you could give this a try. But be warned. It's visceral experience. There's hardly a bodily fluid spared. There's nudity, and it's never the good kind. In fact, there are more penises in this movie than any porno version of Rent could come up with. No, it's not a sex film. And somehow that makes it worse.

The Taint is never a pleasant movie to watch. There isn't really anyone to root for; the main character (Bolduc) is a guy, not a girl. And he just walks around looking puzzled most of the time. The death scenes lose their novelty quickly, mostly because they lack context. There's no setup, just killing and lots of it. It's almost a domesticated version of Cannibal Apocalypse, and if you recognize that title, this might be your movie. But overall, the movie is unintentionally funny more often than scary – much more often, in fact; it's almost as if the filmmakers forgot that even the goriest movies have to have something behind the bloody mayhem to really sell the scares. You need believable characters, even if they do wind up slaughtered. Give the audience a reason to care that these people are being killed – otherwise, they're nothing more than fodder. You may as well use cardboard standees. You also need suspense, and there just isn't any in The Taint. There's just shock for the pure sake of shock, and even that wears thin pretty quickly.

Again, it's a low-budget movie filmed guerrilla style. It could be a cult hit, but maybe only after a hundred years or more have passed and some film scholar "discovers" it; then they'll have midnight mind showings (you know, direct projection into the brain – are you listening, Netflix?) and build a phenomenon. "Look at the movies people were making in the 2000s!" they'll say. "Boy, how silly!" Only they'd use updated slang.

The Taint is a current version of Manos: Hands of Fate or even Eegah!, two movies now known for just being terrible efforts but that have enjoyed some sort of recognition for their own ineptitude. So at least it has that potential.
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watch out for the pecker
trashgang19 January 2011
Some friends in the UK told me to have a view on this for me unknown flick. I hadn't seen any reviews of it so I just pulled me in unknown territory. Straight from the director's office it was send towards Europe. The only thing I knew was that the effects used for a low budget were excellent as I heard from my UK friends. Well, was I glad that I just watched another weird flick, be honest, if you take it seriously then you will hate it for sure. It's a combination of horror and comedy but it has a really weird twist. When the movie starts the first thing you see are two pair of breasts, in close up, naked. What they are doing there is for me still an enigma but after that shot you're in a hell of a ride in the gory world of the director. But as a low budget, the effects used really works, the score used works out too, you can buy it separatly if you want. Even the editing was nice to see. The only point I wasn't happy with is when one of the figures is telling about how he became what he is it takes a bit too long, especially the laboratory. Luckily after wards it's back to the gory effects. As I said in the beginning, it isn't a flick for everyone but if you for example loved 'die you zombie bastard' then you will love this one too. It's the weirdness that makes you laugh, and for the freaks out there, yes, there is nudity. Sometimes there is a bit of a gay attitude surrounding this flick but I wasn't offended with it, I had a big smile on my face, just see what they did with the working out in a sleeping room, go figure that out. Really, I recommend this to the splatter freaks, just sit down and watch it with a bunch of friends, it only takes a bit more of an hour to sit it through. You wont regret it, yelling a lot of oooo's and aaa's and WTF!.
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one too many penis
Sorpse22 January 2013
Warning: Spoilers
i went into this one with high hopes. Obiovusly it was going to be outrageously offencive and disgusting(just watch the trailer) and thats what i was hoping for. Unfortunately for me they really emphasized on the penis humour. Now penises alone would have been tolerable but here we get massive cocks spewing blood and cum constantly, and if they aren't spewing fluids on peoples faces they are being mutilated in many different ways. Now i cant help but compare this movie to "father's Day" which came out this year and was equally if not more disgusting than this one and both were filmed in the old school grindhouse fashion for low low low budgets and are acted mainly by the creators themselves. I found fathers day to be more enjoyable however. It seems like the guys of Astron 6 are more talented and a lot funnier. The taint however was good attempt. It did arise a few laughs from me and the main character was pretty awesome, i liked the sunglass switching thing he did. However when there is no gore i found the movie could drag at times but luckily not for too long. I love these types of movies and will definitely look into these guys for future releases im just hoping they cut back on the cock.
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The Taint is AWESOME
Warning: Spoilers
In recent years, the trend of grindhouse revivalism has spread like wildfire throughout the fringes of the film industry. It seems like, since the Quentin Tarantino/Robert Rodriguez anthology film "Grindhouse" brought the term, and the style, back into view, contemporary takes on the cheesy, over-the-top spectacle of the midnite-movie fare of the 1970s and 80s have begun popping up with an increased frequency. This new crop of grindhouse features differs from the old guard--low-budget limitations have been augmented by a deliberate tongue-in-cheek attitude, a knowing irony that deconstructs the style as it lovingly pays homage. Sometimes, this knowing irony falls flat, becoming too self-aware and too self-referential to be funny--but in the best cases, it only improves the film in question, adding a deep dimension of comedy to the surface, creating greater capacity for laughs and spectacle than even the heights of the style's original peak period.

The Taint, directed by Dan Nelson and Drew Bolduc and distributed by Troma Entertainment, is a great representation of when this type of film is done right. With a plot that lends itself to untold hilarious possibilities (it envisions a society in which men have turned into twisted, misogynistic barbarians by way of a taint in the water supply,) some very clever writing, deliberately over-the-top scenarios, and aesthetic sensibilities that update the exploitation-shockers of old without appearing trite or handed-down, The Taint is an incredibly solid seventy minutes of tight, campy fun. It has humor that's as dirty as it is clever, imagery that's as shocking as it is hysterical, practical effects that amaze with their ingenuity, and an atmosphere that stays fresh and original even while putting its influences on display. With appropriately-tasteless male nudity, and plenty of blood and guts on display, it's certainly not for the faint-of-heart, but for lovers of modern grindhouse reinventions along the lines of Hanger, Hobo With a Shotgun or Father's Day, it's definitely a treat to watch. It may not appeal to most viewers out there, but if you're looking for some tasteless schlock that's surprisingly intelligent and extremely funny, The Taint comes highly recommended.
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