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Vampires Suck (2010) Poster

(2010)

Quotes

Becca Crane: [from trailer] Jacob, run!

[Jacob jumps above Becca and lands in his chihuahua form]

Becca Crane: [disbelievingly] A chihuahua?

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Becca Crane: So are we going to be uh, at the same school?

Jacob: I go to school at the reservation.

Becca Crane: Oh, it must be fun to gamble and drink all day.

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Frank Crane: [to Becca] I guess it's hard for me to accept that my little girl's growing up. I mean look at the size of those tits.

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Becca Crane: I used to live with my Mom. Now, she's always on the road because she started doing some pro golfer.

[Pulls out a magazine with Tiger Woods on the front]

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Edward Sullen: [as his family is trying to kill Becca] Every time I bring a girl over, you try to eat her! It's not fair!

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Chinese Food Delivery Guy: Someone order Chinese food?

Edward Sullen: [Throws him at his family as they proceed to eat him; to Becca] Let's go! They'll be hungry again in a half-an-hour!

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[Becca accidentally maces Buffy the Vampire Slayer]

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: I was trying to help you, bitch!

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Edward Sullen: Hearing you breathe is the greatest gift I've ever received.

[Becca farts in Edward's face]

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Becca Crane: Stop it!

Daro: [mocking Becca] Stop it.

Becca Crane: You're killing him!

Daro: [mocking Becca] You're killing him.

Becca Crane: [quietly] And we haven't even had sex yet.

Daro: [mocking Becca] And we haven't even had - Really?

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Becca Crane: [from trailer] Edward!

Team Edward: Edward? Where?

[sees Edward glittering in the sun]

Team Edward: Edward, we love you. You're the best.

Team Jacob: No, Jacob's the best!

[smacks Team Edward's face with a shovel]

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Alice: Where did you go, silly rabbit?

Edward Sullen: [aiming gun] I'm a killer.

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[Narrating]

[Becca and her Dad are driving into Sporks, they drive past a welcome sign to the town]

Becca Crane: So, I came here to the town of Sporks, Washington. Population: 3120.

[a screaming woman comes running in front of the sign being chased by a vampire, the vampire grabs and bites her neck spraying blood everywhere]

Becca Crane: Holy shit! Uh, make that 3119!

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Jennifer: Hi. I'm Jennifer, future Prom Queen, I'm gonna pretend to be your BFF but if you touch Rick's wang

[flicks open switch blade]

Jennifer:

  • I'll cut you!


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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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