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Frank Crane, sheriff of Washington's Spork town, welcomes back his daughter Becca. However obvious the signs, she takes forever to recognize its Halloween-like decoration hardly masks the omnipresence of bizarrely clumsy vampires and werewolves, even in the case of her devoted youth friend Jacob White, whose canine traits extend from a tail to the irresistible urge to chase cats. She falls in love with sickly pale Edward Sullen, member of the depressed, bloodthirsty adopted family of Dr. Carlton. Written by
Normally, I don't review movies on here, but when I read everyone else slamming this movie, I thought maybe they should get the perspective of someone who enjoyed it.
As a non-Twilight fan (haven't read the books and don't wish to for reasons to numerous to mention), I was determined to see this movie at the time when I wanted to tease a Twi-hard that I personally got to know from my disability social group about it. She refused to see this movie simply because they make fun of Twilight and Buffy, which motivated me even further.
First off, yes, there were a lot of corny sex jokes, fart jokes, pop culture and celebrity references that many reviewers said wore out their welcome with projects like Epic Movie and Meet the Spartans. That may be true, but think about this for a minute. We are talking about a franchise that has spent 500 or so pages going on and on about Edward Cullen's "great" looks, using every descriptive synonym known to man, resulting in the most annoying teenyboppers since Benji and Joel Madden put the oh-so-overrated Good Charlotte on the music map, them and the Jonas Brothers. Ask anyone who has hated the Twilight series from the start, or started to hate it once they got through their Twilight-gushing phase (in other words, they grew up and developed literary taste!) Neither the books nor the movies deserve even a quarter of the recognition they got, because all the people behind it want you to focus on is how a naive, despairing, depressed girl who doesn't know what she wants getting into a love triangle with a fairy vampire and a werewolf. That and how gorgeous Robert Pattinson looks in his sparkles and pale makeup, and the same with Taylor Lautner in his shirtless scenes. The result: hordes of groupie girls going so far as to unrealistically want to have Edward Cullen and Jacob Black's children, despite the fact they are fictional characters. It's ridiculous and absurd, to say the least!
This is why "Vampires Suck" can be halfway appreciated. You can easily laugh at the jokes in this movie because even those who hated it know that this highly overrated saga had this coming all along. And for the aforementioned crimes that this literary atrocity committed, the Twilight saga got the bashing and ridicule it so richly deserved.
So if you disliked it the first time because it made you think of the unfunny torture you experienced after flops like the Scary Movie franchise after the first movie, Disaster Movie, Date Movie, Epic Movie, Superhero Movie, and so on, I challenge you to watch this again when it comes out on DVD, and think about what the "Twilight" saga has done to the worlds of both literature and cinema. I guarantee you'll developa new appreciation for this particular one.
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