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Vampires Suck (2010)

PG-13  |   |  Comedy  |  18 August 2010 (USA)
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Ratings: 3.5/10 from 37,714 users   Metascore: 18/100
Reviews: 187 user | 122 critic | 17 from Metacritic.com

A spoof of vampire-themed movies, where teenager Becca finds herself torn between two boys. As she and her friends wrestle with a number of different dramas, everything comes to a head at their prom.

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Cast overview, first billed only:
Jacob White
Principal Smith
Dr. Carlton


Frank Crane, sheriff of Washington's Spork town, welcomes back his daughter Becca. However obvious the signs, she takes forever to recognize its Halloween-like decoration hardly masks the omnipresence of bizarrely clumsy vampires and werewolves, even in the case of her devoted youth friend Jacob White, whose canine traits extend from a tail to the irresistible urge to chase cats. She falls in love with sickly pale Edward Sullen, member of the depressed, bloodthirsty adopted family of Dr. Carlton. Written by KGF Vissers

Plot Summary | Plot Synopsis

Plot Keywords:

friend | cat | teenager | love | sheriff | See All (156) »


From the guys who couldn't sit through another vampire movie! See more »



Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated PG-13 for crude sexual content, comic violence, language and teen partying | See all certifications »

Parents Guide:



Official Sites:

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Release Date:

18 August 2010 (USA)  »

Also Known As:

L.A. Art Show  »

Filming Locations:


Box Office


$20,000,000 (estimated)

Opening Weekend:

$12,202,831 (USA) (20 August 2010)


$36,658,108 (USA) (5 November 2010)

Company Credits

Show detailed on  »

Technical Specs


Sound Mix:

| |


Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1
See  »

Did You Know?


A few of the bikini-clad extras during the graduation ceremony scene are members of the Texas Bikini Team. See more »


Derric meets Becca in the school corridor and opens his backpack, it doesn't close completely when he puts it on his back. In the next scene, the backpack is closed. See more »


Frank Crane: [to Becca] I guess it's hard for me to accept that my little girl's growing up. I mean look at the size of those tits.
See more »


Spoofs Alice in Wonderland (2010) See more »


A Strange Story
from the Motion Picture The Fly (1958)
Composed by Paul Sawtell and Bert Shefter
Courtesy of Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation
See more »

Frequently Asked Questions

See more (Spoiler Alert!) »

User Reviews

Giving "Twilight" the treatment it deserved!!!
31 October 2010 | by (Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada) – See all my reviews

Normally, I don't review movies on here, but when I read everyone else slamming this movie, I thought maybe they should get the perspective of someone who enjoyed it.

As a non-Twilight fan (haven't read the books and don't wish to for reasons to numerous to mention), I was determined to see this movie at the time when I wanted to tease a Twi-hard that I personally got to know from my disability social group about it. She refused to see this movie simply because they make fun of Twilight and Buffy, which motivated me even further.

First off, yes, there were a lot of corny sex jokes, fart jokes, pop culture and celebrity references that many reviewers said wore out their welcome with projects like Epic Movie and Meet the Spartans. That may be true, but think about this for a minute. We are talking about a franchise that has spent 500 or so pages going on and on about Edward Cullen's "great" looks, using every descriptive synonym known to man, resulting in the most annoying teenyboppers since Benji and Joel Madden put the oh-so-overrated Good Charlotte on the music map, them and the Jonas Brothers. Ask anyone who has hated the Twilight series from the start, or started to hate it once they got through their Twilight-gushing phase (in other words, they grew up and developed literary taste!) Neither the books nor the movies deserve even a quarter of the recognition they got, because all the people behind it want you to focus on is how a naive, despairing, depressed girl who doesn't know what she wants getting into a love triangle with a fairy vampire and a werewolf. That and how gorgeous Robert Pattinson looks in his sparkles and pale makeup, and the same with Taylor Lautner in his shirtless scenes. The result: hordes of groupie girls going so far as to unrealistically want to have Edward Cullen and Jacob Black's children, despite the fact they are fictional characters. It's ridiculous and absurd, to say the least!

This is why "Vampires Suck" can be halfway appreciated. You can easily laugh at the jokes in this movie because even those who hated it know that this highly overrated saga had this coming all along. And for the aforementioned crimes that this literary atrocity committed, the Twilight saga got the bashing and ridicule it so richly deserved.

So if you disliked it the first time because it made you think of the unfunny torture you experienced after flops like the Scary Movie franchise after the first movie, Disaster Movie, Date Movie, Epic Movie, Superhero Movie, and so on, I challenge you to watch this again when it comes out on DVD, and think about what the "Twilight" saga has done to the worlds of both literature and cinema. I guarantee you'll developa new appreciation for this particular one.

92 of 131 people found this review helpful.  Was this review helpful to you?

Message Boards

Recent Posts
This movie is actually really funny. mewne0
Favorite quote from the movie xkacibabi
STILL BETTER then TWILIGHT. zonkiethegreat
Why didn't they change the names? jannghi
used more vampire references...than just twilight DJOfRadioGallifrey
Are they making another one? soccerplayer0448
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