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Vampires Suck (2010)

PG-13 | | Comedy | 18 August 2010 (USA)
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A spoof of vampire-themed movies, where teenager Becca finds herself torn between two boys. As she and her friends wrestle with a number of different dramas, everything comes to a head at their prom.
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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
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Kelsey Ford ...
Iris
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Principal Smith
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Dr. Carlton
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Alex
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Rick
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Storyline

Frank Crane, sheriff of Washington's Spork town, welcomes back his daughter Becca. However obvious the signs, she takes forever to recognize its Halloween-like decoration hardly masks the omnipresence of bizarrely clumsy vampires and werewolves, even in the case of her devoted youth friend Jacob White, whose canine traits extend from a tail to the irresistible urge to chase cats. She falls in love with sickly pale Edward Sullen, member of the depressed, bloodthirsty adopted family of Dr. Carlton. Written by KGF Vissers

Plot Summary | Plot Synopsis

Plot Keywords:

friend | cat | teenager | love | sheriff | See All (155) »

Taglines:

From the guys who couldn't sit through another vampire movie! See more »

Genres:

Comedy

Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated PG-13 for crude sexual content, comic violence, language and teen partying | See all certifications »

Parents Guide:

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Details

Official Sites:

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Release Date:

18 August 2010 (USA)  »

Also Known As:

L.A. Art Show  »

Filming Locations:

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Box Office

Budget:

$20,000,000 (estimated)

Opening Weekend:

$12,202,831 (USA) (20 August 2010)

Gross:

$36,658,108 (USA) (5 November 2010)
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Company Credits

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Technical Specs

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Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1
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Did You Know?

Trivia

Matt Lanter and Arielle Kebbel starred together in The CW's 90210 as romantic partners See more »

Goofs

When Alice is climbing out of the hole, someone throws a cell phone in her face. The hand of the person throwing the phone appears briefly on the right side of the screen. See more »

Quotes

[Becca accidentally maces Buffy the Vampire Slayer]
Buffy the Vampire Slayer: I was trying to help you, bitch!
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Connections

References The Real Housewives of Atlanta (2008) See more »

Soundtracks

Charge
Traditional
Performed by Oh Joey
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Frequently Asked Questions

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User Reviews

 
A Nutshell Review: Vampires Suck
4 September 2010 | by (Singapore) – See all my reviews

I wouldn't have watched this if not for a friend who wanted to catch a comedy together, though I must admit I'm still pretty intrigued and amazed at how writer-directors Jason Friedberg and Adam Seltzer managed to continue get money thrown at them to make terrible, unfunny comedies such as sub par works like Meet the Spartans, Disaster Movie, Epic Movie and Date Movie, the last which to me was mildly amusing. Gone are the days of the Zucker brothers, and now we're stuck with low-brow efforts like what Friedberg and Seltzer continuously dish out, setting their sights at whatever's popular genre at the moment.

And that of course is the phenomenon we call Twilight, where it's already three films old, and taking its cue from the Harry Potter franchise, decided to split its last book into two films, done squarely for profits. Poking fun at something popular is expected, but to do so in the Friedberg-Seltzer fashion just reeks of desperation. They seem to throw anything and everything into the film, without even due consideration if it's funny, or not. There are plenty of sight gags, innuendos, and just plain badly designed scenes that don't flow from one to another, making it look like a series of school children skits that got strung together, hammering wooden pegs into rounded holes, and jokes that's 99% bad, you'll find more pleasure from experiencing long nails clawed against a chalkboard.

Even more curious is the demographics out to support / watch this film. As I was understandably surrounded by women of all ages who turn out in droves to watch the Twilight movies, I was again equally surrounded by the same demographics for this one in a near full house. Clearly, I don't think they're that vacuous to, for a moment, think that their highly anticipated sequel film had arrived, or even remotely suspect that this is a companion film. I suspect though that for all the spoof movies out there, there's always a great chance that the impersonators of their favourite yummy characters will look equally yummy. Sorry to burst your bubble, but Matt Lanter as Edward Sullen is miles away from Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen even though both cannot act, and Chris Riggi as Jacob White is not Taylor Lautner as Jacob Black even though both share equal number of pronounced abs (hmm... maybe this could be a reason, Team Jacob was actually out supporting this?).

The only thing that was the rare shining light in this film, happens to be Jenn Proske as Becca Crane, who did an awesome job impersonating how Kristen Stewart would play Bella Swan, down to all the subtle nuances that if Stewart decides to leave her role, then the Twilight producers can plonk Proske right in. It's really uncanny watching her ham up the Bella spoof, but do note that I'm not praising her performance either as she's just carbon-copying what another actress had done, although pitch perfect.

I did laugh out loud here and there, but it's laughing at the film in how it got away with the stupidest of jokes and the absurdity at who this project could have been green lit by a Hollywood studio (says a lot, doesn't it?) I hope Friedberg and Seltzer either learn from the best in the comedic business, or quit filmmaking altogether. Vampires Suck sucks. Period. And I'm just feeling dirty having to recount what I had watched, and to craft a review for it.


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