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Vampires Suck (2010)

PG-13  |   |  Comedy  |  18 August 2010 (USA)
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Ratings: 3.5/10 from 37,698 users   Metascore: 18/100
Reviews: 187 user | 122 critic | 17 from Metacritic.com

A spoof of vampire-themed movies, where teenager Becca finds herself torn between two boys. As she and her friends wrestle with a number of different dramas, everything comes to a head at their prom.

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Cast overview, first billed only:
Jacob White
Principal Smith
Dr. Carlton


Frank Crane, sheriff of Washington's Spork town, welcomes back his daughter Becca. However obvious the signs, she takes forever to recognize its Halloween-like decoration hardly masks the omnipresence of bizarrely clumsy vampires and werewolves, even in the case of her devoted youth friend Jacob White, whose canine traits extend from a tail to the irresistible urge to chase cats. She falls in love with sickly pale Edward Sullen, member of the depressed, bloodthirsty adopted family of Dr. Carlton. Written by KGF Vissers

Plot Summary | Plot Synopsis

Plot Keywords:

friend | cat | teenager | love | sheriff | See All (156) »


From the guys who couldn't sit through another vampire movie! See more »



Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated PG-13 for crude sexual content, comic violence, language and teen partying | See all certifications »

Parents Guide:



Official Sites:

| |  »




Release Date:

18 August 2010 (USA)  »

Also Known As:

L.A. Art Show  »

Filming Locations:


Box Office


$20,000,000 (estimated)

Opening Weekend:

$12,202,831 (USA) (20 August 2010)


$36,658,108 (USA) (5 November 2010)

Company Credits

Show detailed on  »

Technical Specs


Sound Mix:

| |


Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1
See  »

Did You Know?


The Iphone Jennifer uses to show Becca Edward Sullen's Facebook profile is Anneliese van der Pol's personal phone. See more »


Derric meets Becca in the school corridor and opens his backpack, it doesn't close completely when he puts it on his back. In the next scene, the backpack is closed. See more »


[Becca accidentally maces Buffy the Vampire Slayer]
Buffy the Vampire Slayer: I was trying to help you, bitch!
See more »


Spoofs True Blood (2008) See more »


She's Going Down
Written by Ali Dee (as Ali Theodore), Joey Katsaros (as Joseph Katsaros) and Alana Da Fonseca
Performed by Ali Dee
Courtesy of DeeTown Entertainment
See more »

Frequently Asked Questions

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User Reviews

This movie sucks....less than expected!
19 July 2010 | by (United States) – See all my reviews

After making the woefully regrettable decision to pay money to see "Epic Movie", I had vowed to stay far away from this movie and any other with the word "Movie" in the title. But, because I am faint of heart and/or an idiot, I allowed myself to be talked into watching a leaked version online because A) it was actually pretty funny, according to friends who had seen it already, B) it was only about 70 minutes long, and C) this Edward was actually hot. After watching it for myself, I would agree on all three counts (especially C….daaaaamn). It's no great cinematic achievement, but for a devoted Twilight hater such as myself, it was worth a chuckle or two.

Sure, "Vampires Suck" meets many of the same pitfalls other parody movies do. It operates under the delusion that anyone out of diapers thinks that a character being bludgeoned over the head time and time again for absolutely no reason is comedy gold. It often relies on stupid pop culture jokes (Look! A Jersey Shore reference! It's funny because it is a Jersey shore reference!) and unoriginal gross-out humor (it's funny because you want to vomit! Haha!). But, so help me if I didn't find myself laughing at the way the film mercilessly mocks everything laughable about the Twilight movies, a series that, let's face it, lends itself pretty easily to parody. In fact, all "Vampires Suck" really had to do was recreate the first two Twilight films pretty much scene-for-scene, tweaking here and there to make the scenes only slightly more ridiculous than the originals. The result is actually a pretty clever send-up of the ludicrously over-the-top melodrama that Twilight lovers eat up. This film holds a mirror up to pretty much everything laughable about the series that proves that a wildly successful book/movie franchise does not necessarily need a "plot": the rabidity of its fan base; the shameless parade of shirtless males; the idea that teenage Stephanie Meyer…er, I mean, Bella, would be the object of every hot guy's lust despite being a mopy sourpuss with no trace of a personality; the insistence that Robert Pattinson is "sexy". The actress who plays Bella, or "Becca," as she is renamed, does a killer job parodying Kristen Stewart's mannerisms (hair-tucking, downward gazes, constant lower-lip biting) by which I mean she mimics them exactly and everyone laughs at them because they are stupid. Mocking Twilight is not exactly hard to do, but I have to say this film does it quite cleverly at many points. I'll even say that the ending is magnificent.

Needless to say, "Vampires Suck" is for members of Team I Want a Boy Who Doesn't Want to Kill Me only, as I'm sure Twilight fans would not appreciate being forced to acknowledge that the thing they love is dumber than a sack of fruit fly larvae. However, since like I said the movie is pretty much just a re-creation of the original Twilight movies, many of the jokes are best appreciated having actually seen them. So you'll probably like this movie if you are not a Twilight fan, but have actually seen the movies because A) you were dragged there by a girl whose pants you really, REALLY wanted to get into, B) you were stoned, walked into the wrong theater, and failed to realize that it wasn't The Hangover until it was too late, or C) you are self-loathing and willingly subjected yourself to them out of morbid curiosity (like me).

So if you hate Twilight and everything it stands for, take a break from your violent (yet strangely erotic) fantasies about Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner and go see "Vampires Suck". It will ease your tortured soul, and maybe, just maybe, restore a molecule of faith in the parody genre. It couldn't possibly be worse than "Meet the Spartans".

114 of 189 people found this review helpful.  Was this review helpful to you?

Message Boards

Recent Posts
This movie is actually really funny. mewne0
Favorite quote from the movie xkacibabi
STILL BETTER then TWILIGHT. zonkiethegreat
Why didn't they change the names? jannghi
used more vampire references...than just twilight DJOfRadioGallifrey
Are they making another one? soccerplayer0448
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