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"Sherlock" A Study in Pink (TV Episode 2010) Poster

(TV Series)

(2010)

Quotes

Anderson: So we can read her emails, so what?

Sherlock Holmes: Anderson, don't talk out loud. You lower the IQ of the whole street.

Sherlock Holmes: Shut up.

DI Lestrade: I didn't say anything.

Sherlock Holmes: You were thinking. It's annoying.

Sherlock Holmes: Dear God, what is it like in your funny little brains? It must be so boring!

Dr John Watson: Have you talked to the police?

Sherlock Holmes: Four people are dead. There isn't time to talk to the police.

Dr John Watson: So why are you talking to ME?

Sherlock Holmes: [morosely] Mrs. Hudson took my skull.

Dr John Watson: So I'm basically filling in for your skull?

Sherlock Holmes: Relax, you're doing fine.

Anderson: Never mind that. We found the case! According to SOMEONE, "the murderer has the case," and we found it in the hands of our favorite psychopath.

Sherlock Holmes: I'm not a psychopath, Anderson. I'm a high-functioning sociopath. Do your research.

Dr John Watson: You don't have a girlfriend then?

Sherlock Holmes: Girlfriend? No, not really my area.

Dr John Watson: Alright... Do you have a boyfriend? Which is fine, by the way.

Sherlock Holmes: I know it's fine.

Dr John Watson: So you got a boyfriend?

Sherlock Holmes: No.

Dr John Watson: Right. Okay. You're unattached. Like me. Fine. Good.

Sherlock Holmes: John, erm... I think you should know that I consider myself married to my work, and while I'm flattered by your interest, I'm really not looking for any...

Dr John Watson: No. I'm... not asking. No. I'm just saying, it's all fine.

Sherlock Holmes: Good. Thank you.

Sherlock Holmes: So the shooter, no sign?

DI Lestrade: Cleared off before we got here, but a guy like that would have had enemies I suppose. One of them could've been following him, but... got nothing to go on.

Sherlock Holmes: Oh, I wouldn't say that.

DI Lestrade: Okay, give me?

Sherlock Holmes: The bullet they just dug out of the wall is from a handgun. A kill shot over that distance from that kind of a weapon, that's a crack shot you're looking for, but not just a marksman, a fighter. His hands couldn't have shaken at all, so clearly he's acclimatised to violence. He didn't fire until I was in immediate danger though, so strong moral principle. You're looking for a man probably with a history of military service and...

[spots John]

Sherlock Holmes: ...nerves of steel... Actually, do you know what? Ignore me.

DI Lestrade: Sorry?

Sherlock Holmes: Ignore all of that, it's just the, uh, the "shock" talking.

Dr John Watson: [after Sherlock explains how he worked out Watson's veteran status, his war wound and his sibling's drinking problem] That... was amazing.

Sherlock Holmes: You think so?

Dr John Watson: Of course it was. It was extraordinary. It was quite extraordinary.

Sherlock Holmes: That's not what people normally say.

Dr John Watson: What do people normally say?

Sherlock Holmes: "Piss off".

Sherlock Holmes: Okay, you've got questions.

Dr John Watson: Yeah. Where are we going?

Sherlock Holmes: Crime scene. Next?

Dr John Watson: Who are you? What do you do?

Sherlock Holmes: What do you think?

Dr John Watson: I'd say private detective...

Sherlock Holmes: But...

Dr John Watson: But the police don't go to private detectives.

Sherlock Holmes: I'm a consulting detective. The only one in the world. I invented the job.

Dr John Watson: What does that mean?

Sherlock Holmes: It means whenever the police are out of their depth - which is always - they consult me.

Dr John Watson: [scoffs] The police don't consult amateurs.

[Sherlock looks at him askance, then gives a sly smile]

Sherlock Holmes: When I met you for the first time yesterday, I said "Afghanistan or Iraq?" You looked surprised.

Dr John Watson: Yes. How did you know?

Sherlock Holmes: I didn't know, I saw. Your haircut, the way you hold yourself, says military. The conversation as you entered the room - said trained at Bart's, so army doctor. Obvious. Your face is tanned, but no tan above the wrists - you've been abroad but not sunbathing. The limp's really bad when you walk, but you don't ask for a chair when you stand, like you've forgotten about it, so it's at least partly psychosomatic. That suggests the original circumstances of the injury were probably traumatic - wounded in action, then. Wounded in action, suntan - Afghanistan or Iraq.

Dr John Watson: You said I had a therapist.

Sherlock Holmes: You've got a psychosomatic limp. Of course you've got a therapist. Then there's your brother. Your phone - it's expensive, email enabled, MP3 player. But you're looking for a flat-share, you wouldn't waste money on this. It's a gift, then. Scratches - not one, many over time. It's been in the same pocket as keys and coins. The man sitting next to me wouldn't treat his one luxury item like this, so it's had a previous owner. The next bit's easy, you know it already.

[indicates back of the phone, which has been engraved with the inscription "Harry Watson - from Clara XXX"]

Dr John Watson: The engraving?

Sherlock Holmes: Harry Watson - clearly a family member who's given you his old phone. Not your father - this is a young man's gadget. Could be a cousin, but you're a war hero who can't find a place to live. Unlikely you've got an extended family, certainly not one you're close to, so brother it is. Now, Clara - who's Clara? Three kisses says romantic attachment. Expensive phone says wife, not girlfriend. Must've given it to him recently - this model's only six months old. Marriage in trouble, then - six months on, and already he's giving it away? If she'd left him, he would've kept it. People do, sentiment. But no, he wanted rid of it - he left her. He gave the phone to you, that says he wants you to stay in touch.

[beat]

Sherlock Holmes: You're looking for cheap accommodation and you're not going to your brother for help? That says you've got problems with him. Maybe you liked his wife, maybe you don't like his drinking.

Dr John Watson: How can you possibly know about the drinking?

[cuts to a close-up of the phone's charger port, showing obvious scratches around it]

Sherlock Holmes: Shot in the dark. Good one, though. Power connection - tiny little scuff marks around the edge. Every night he goes to plug it in and charge but his hands are shaky. You never see those marks on a sober man's phone, never see a drunk's without them. There you go, you see? You were right.

Dr John Watson: I was right? Right about what?

Sherlock Holmes: The police don't consult amateurs.

[long pause]

Dr John Watson: [slowly, grudgingly] That was amazing.

Sherlock Holmes: You think so?

Sherlock Holmes: Why have I got this blanket? It... They keep putting this blanket on me.

DI Lestrade: Yeah, it's for shock.

Sherlock Holmes: I'm not in shock.

DI Lestrade: Yeah, but some of the guys want to take photographs.

[to Mycroft]

Sherlock Holmes: Try not to start a war before I get home - you know what it does to the traffic.

Dr John Watson: It's how you get your kicks, isn't it? Risking your life to prove you're clever.

Sherlock Holmes: Why would I do that?

Dr John Watson: Because you're an idiot.

Sherlock Holmes: Dinner?

Dr John Watson: Starving.

Dr John Watson: What are you doing?

Sherlock Holmes: Nicotine patch. Helps me think. Impossible to sustain a smoking habit in London these days. Bad news for brain work.

Dr John Watson: It's good news for breathing.

Sherlock Holmes: Ah, breathing. Breathing's boring.

Dr John Watson: Is that three patches?

Sherlock Holmes: It's a three-patch problem.

Sherlock Holmes: You're a doctor. In fact, you're an army doctor.

Dr John Watson: Yes.

Sherlock Holmes: Any good?

Dr John Watson: Very good.

Sherlock Holmes: Seen a lot of injuries, then?... Violent deaths?

Dr John Watson: Yes.

Sherlock Holmes: Bit of trouble, too, I bet.

Dr John Watson: Of course, yes. Enough for a lifetime... far too much.

Sherlock Holmes: Want to see some more?

Dr John Watson: Oh God, yes.

Dr John Watson: Pink. Y-you got all that because you realised the case would be pink?

Sherlock Holmes: Well, it had to be pink, obviously.

Dr John Watson: Why didn't I think of that?

Sherlock Holmes: Because you're an idiot.

[John looks up, insulted]

Sherlock Holmes: No, no, no, don't be like that. Practically everyone is.

Sherlock Holmes: Did I get anything wrong?

Dr John Watson: Harry and me don't get on. Never have. Clara and Harry split up three months ago and they're getting a divorce, and Harry is a drinker.

Sherlock Holmes: Spot on, then. I didn't expect to be right about everything.

Dr John Watson: Harry's short for Harriet.

Sherlock Holmes: [stops walking] Harry's your sister.

Dr John Watson: Look, what exactly am I supposed to be doing here?

Sherlock Holmes: Sister!

Dr John Watson: No, seriously, what am I doing here?

Sherlock Holmes: There's always something...

Sherlock Holmes: You can't just break into my flat.

DI Lestrade: And you can't withhold evidence. And I didn't "break" in to your flat.

Sherlock Holmes: Well, what do you call this then?

DI Lestrade: It's a drugs bust.

Dr John Watson: Seriously. This guy, a junkie? Have you met him?

Sherlock Holmes: John.

Dr John Watson: I'm pretty sure you could search this flat all day and you wouldn't find anything you could call recreational.

Sherlock Holmes: John, you probably want to shut up now.

Dr John Watson: Yeah, but come on. No.

Sherlock Holmes: What?

Dr John Watson: You?

Sherlock Holmes: Shut up. I'm not your sniffer dog.

DI Lestrade: No, Anderson's my sniffer dog.

Sherlock Holmes: What, A... Anderson, what are you doing here on a drugs bust?

Anderson: Oh, I volunteered.

DI Lestrade: They all did. They're not strictly speaking *on* the drug squad, but they're very keen.

Sgt Sally Donovan: [holding up a jar] Are these human eyes?

Sherlock Holmes: Put those back.

Sgt Sally Donovan: But they were in the microwave.

Sherlock Holmes: It's an experiment.

Dr John Watson: [appearing at 221-B Baker Street] Well, this is a prime spot. Must be expensive.

Sherlock Holmes: No, Mrs. Hudson, the landlady, she's giving me a special deal. She owes me a favor. A few years back, her husband got himself sentenced to death in Florida. I was able to help out.

Dr John Watson: So y-you stopped her husband being executed?

Sherlock Holmes: Oh, no. I ensured it.

Dr John Watson: That's a skull.

Sherlock Holmes: Friend of mine. When I say friend...

Dr John Watson: What am I doing here?

Sherlock Holmes: Helping me make a point.

Dr John Watson: I'm supposed to be helping you pay the rent.

Sherlock Holmes: Yeah, well, this is more fun.

Dr John Watson: Fun? There's a woman lying dead.

Sherlock Holmes: Perfectly sound analysis but I was hoping you'd go deeper.

Sherlock Holmes: Ah, Anderson. Here we are again.

Anderson: It's a crime scene. I don't want it contaminated. Are we clear on that?

Sherlock Holmes: Quite clear. And is your wife away for long?

Anderson: Oh, don't pretend you worked that out. Somebody told you that.

Sherlock Holmes: Your deodorant told me that.

Anderson: My deodorant?...

Sherlock Holmes: It's for men.

Anderson: Well, of course it's for men! I'm wearing it!

Sherlock Holmes: So's Sergeant Donovan.

Sherlock Holmes: [sniffs] Whoo... and I think it just vaporised. May I go in?

Anderson: Now, look, whatever you're trying to imply...

Anderson: I'm not implying anything. I'm sure Sally came round for a nice little chat and just HAPPENED to stay over. And I assume she scrubbed your floors, going by the state of her knees.

Mycroft: Bravery is by far the kindest word for stupidity, don't you think? What is your connection to Sherlock Holmes?

Dr John Watson: I don't... have one. I barely know him. I met him... yesterday.

Mycroft: Mmm, and since yesterday you've moved in with him, and now you're solving crimes together. Might we expect a happy announcement by the end of the week?

Dr John Watson: Who are you?

Mycroft: An interested party.

Dr John Watson: Interested in Sherlock? Why? I'm guessing you're not friends.

Mycroft: You've met him. How many friends do you imagine he has? I'm the closest thing to a friend that Sherlock Holmes is capable of having.

Dr John Watson: And what's that?

Mycroft: An enemy.

Dr John Watson: An enemy?

Mycroft: In his mind, certainly. If you were to ask him, he'd probably say an archenemy. He does love to be dramatic.

Dr John Watson: Well, thank God you're above all that.

Dr John Watson: People don't have archenemies.

Sherlock Holmes: I'm sorry?

Dr John Watson: In real life. There are no archenemies in real life. Doesn't happen.

Sherlock Holmes: Doesn't it? Sounds a bit dull.

Dr John Watson: So who did I meet?

Sherlock Holmes: What do REAL people have, then, in their... REAL lives?

Dr John Watson: Friends... and people they know, people they... like, people they don't like, girlfriends, boyfriends...

Sherlock Holmes: Well, as I was saying, dull.

Dr John Watson: You don't have a girlfriend, then?

Sherlock Holmes: Girlfriend? No, not really my area.

Dr John Watson: Oh, right. D'you have a boyfriend? - which is fine, by the way.

Sherlock Holmes: I know it's fine.

Dr John Watson: So you got a boyfriend?

Sherlock Holmes: No.

Dr John Watson: Right. Okay. You're unattached, just like me. Right. Good.

Sherlock Holmes: John, erm... I think you should know that I consider myself married to my work, and while I'm flattered by your interest...

Dr John Watson: No.

Sherlock Holmes: ...I'm really not looking for any...

Dr John Watson: No. I'm... not asking... No. I'm just saying, it's all fine.

Sherlock Holmes: Good. Thank you.

Anderson: She's German. "Rache." German for "revenge." She could be trying to tell us something...

Sherlock Holmes: Yes, thank you for your input.

[loudly shuts door in Anderson's face]

Sherlock Holmes: You did get shot though. In Afghanistan? There was an actual wound.

Dr John Watson: Sorry?

Sherlock Holmes: In Afghanistan? There was an actual wound.

Dr John Watson: Oh, yeah. Shoulder.

Sherlock Holmes: Shoulder. I thought so.

Dr John Watson: No you didn't.

Sherlock Holmes: The left one?

Dr John Watson: Lucky guess.

Sherlock Holmes: I never guess.

Sherlock Holmes: You know what? Ignore me.

DI Lestrade: What?

Sherlock Holmes: Just ignore all that. It was the shock talking. Excuse me, I just have to go and talk about the rent.

DI Lestrade: Sherlock...

Sherlock Holmes: Oh, what now? I'm in shock! Look, I've got a blanket!

Dr John Watson: Um, Sergeant Donovan's just been explaining everything. The... two pills. A dreadful business, isn't it? Dreadful.

Sherlock Holmes: [quietly] Good shot.

Dr John Watson: Yes, yes must've been... through that window.

Sherlock Holmes: Well, you'd know. Need to get the powder burns out of your fingers. I don't suppose you'd serve time for this, but let's avoid the court case. Are you all right?

Dr John Watson: Yes, course I'm all right.

Sherlock Holmes: Well you have just killed a man.

Dr John Watson: Yes I...

[pauses]

Dr John Watson: That's true, isn't it? But he wasn't a very nice man.

Sherlock Holmes: No. No, he wasn't, really, was he?

Dr John Watson: No, and, frankly, a bloody awful cabbie.

Sherlock Holmes: [chuckles with John] That's true. He WAS a bad cabbie. You should have seen the route he took us to get here.

Dr John Watson: [laughing] Stop. Stop, we can't giggle. It's a crime scene. Stop it.

Sherlock Holmes: You're the one who shot him. Don't blame me.

Dr John Watson: Keep your voice down! Sorry, it's just, um, nerves, I think.

Sherlock Holmes: Sorry.

Dr John Watson: You were going to take that damn pill, weren't you?

Sherlock Holmes: Course I wasn't. Biding my time. Knew you'd turn up.

Dr John Watson: No, you didn't. That's how you get your kicks, isn't it? You risk your life to prove you're clever.

Sherlock Holmes: Why would I do that?

Dr John Watson: 'Cause you're an idiot.

Sherlock Holmes: Dinner?

Dr John Watson: Starving.

Mycroft: He does love to be dramatic.

Dr John Watson: Well, thank god you're above all that.

Sherlock Holmes: Sorry. Gotta dash. I think I left my riding crop in the mortuary.

Dr John Watson: Is that it?

Sherlock Holmes: Is that what?

Dr John Watson: We've only just met, and we're going to go and look at a flat?

Sherlock Holmes: Problem?

Dr John Watson: We don't know a thing about each other. I don't know where we're meeting. I don't even know your name.

Sherlock Holmes: I know you're an Army doctor, and you've been invalided home from Afghanistan. I know you've got a brother who's worried about you, but you won't go to him for help because you don't approve of him, possibly because he's an alcoholic, more likely because he recently walked out on his wife, and I know your therapist thinks your limp's psychosomatic - quite correctly, I'm afraid. That's enough to be going on with, don't you think? The name's Sherlock Holmes, and the address is 221-B Baker Street. Afternoon.

Dr John Watson: Just met a friend of yours.

Sherlock Holmes: A friend?

Dr John Watson: An enemy.

Sherlock Holmes: Oh! Which one?

Dr John Watson: Well, your archenemy, according to him. Do people have archenemies?

Sherlock Holmes: [lowers voice] Did he offer you money to spy on me?

Dr John Watson: Yes.

Sherlock Holmes: [voice still low] Did you take it?

Dr John Watson: No.

Sherlock Holmes: [normal voice] Pity, we could have split the fee. Think it through next time.

Sherlock Holmes: And because you're dying, you've just murdered four people.

Jeff: I've outlived four people. That's the most fun you can have with an aneurysm.

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Sherlock Holmes: Look at you lot. You're all so vacant. Is it nice not being me? It must be so relaxing.

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Mrs. Hudson: There's another bedroom upstairs, if you'd be needing two bedrooms.

Dr John Watson: Of course we'll be needing two.

Mrs. Hudson: Oh, don't worry. There's all sorts 'round here. Mrs. Turner next door's got married ones.

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Sherlock Holmes: It's murder, all of them. I don't know how. And they're not suicides, they're killings, serial killings! We got ourselves a serial killer. Love those. There's always something to look forward to.

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Mike Stamford: I heard you were abroad somewhere getting shot at. What happened?

Dr John Watson: I got shot.

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Molly Hooper: Listen, I was wondering... maybe later, when you're finished...

Sherlock Holmes: [interrupting her] You're wearing lipstick. You weren't wearing lipstick before.

Molly Hooper: I, er... I refreshed it a bit.

Sherlock Holmes: Sorry, you were saying?

Molly Hooper: I was wondering if you'd like to have coffee.

Sherlock Holmes: Black, two sugars, please. I'll be upstairs.

[walks away]

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Mycroft: [concerning his therapist's belief that Watson's hand tremor is PTSD] Fire her. She's got it the wrong way around. You're under stress right now and your hand is perfectly steady. You're not haunted by the war, Dr Watson. You miss it.

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Dr John Watson: [Sherlock produces a pink suitcase] That's... the pink lady's case. That's Jennifer Wilson's case.

Sherlock Holmes: Yes, obviously.

[Short pause]

Sherlock Holmes: Oh, perhaps I should mention - I didn't kill her.

Dr John Watson: I never said you did.

Sherlock Holmes: Why not? Given the text I just had you send and the fact that I have her case, it's a perfectly logical assumption.

Dr John Watson: Do people usually assume you're the murderer?

Sherlock Holmes: Now and then, yes.

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Sherlock Holmes: How do you feel about the violin?

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[staking out the scene of the killer's last murder]

Dr John Watson: You think he's stupid enough to go there?

Sherlock Holmes: No, I think he's brilliant enough. I love the brilliant ones. They're always so desperate to get caught.

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Sgt Sally Donovan: You know why he's here? He's not paid or anything. He likes it. He gets off on it. The weirder the crime, the more he gets off. And you know what? One day just showing up won't be enough. One day we'll be standing around a body and Sherlock Holmes will be the one that put it there.

Dr John Watson: Why would he do that?

Sgt Sally Donovan: Because he's a psychopath, and psychopaths get bored.

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Sherlock Holmes: [seeking a restaurant] You can always tell a good Chinese by examining the bottom third of the door handle.

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Sherlock Holmes: Her coat is slightly damp; she's been in heavy rain in the last few hours. No rain anywhere in London in that time. Under her coat collar is damp too; she's turned it up against the wind. She's got an umbrella in her left-hand pocket, but it's dry and unused: not just wind, strong wind, too strong to use her umbrella. We know from her suitcase that she was intending to stay overnight, so she must have come a decent distance, but she can't have traveled more than two or three hours because her coat still hasn't dried; so, where has there been heavy rain and strong wind within the radius of that travel time? Cardiff.

Dr John Watson: It's fantastic!

Sherlock Holmes: Do you know you do that out loud?

Dr John Watson: Sorry, I'll shut up.

Sherlock Holmes: No, it's... fine.

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Sherlock Holmes: Serial killers, always hard... have to wait for them to make a mistake.

DI Lestrade: Can't just wait!

Sherlock Holmes: Oh, we're done waiting! Look at her, really look! Houston, we HAVE a mistake! Get on to Cardiff. Find out who Jennifer Wilson's family and friends were. Find Rachel!

DI Lestrade: Of course, yeah, but WHAT MISTAKE?

Sherlock Holmes: PINK!

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Dr John Watson: Who are you?

Mycroft: An interested party.

Dr John Watson: Interested in Sherlock? Why? I'm guessing you're not friends.

Mycroft: You've met him. How many friends do you imagine he has?

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Sgt Sally Donovan: [after Sherlock has disrupted their press conference on the serial suicides by sending the text message "WRONG!" to every single reporter's cell phone] You've got to stop him doing that. He's making us look like idiots.

DI Lestrade: If you can tell me HOW he does it, I'll stop him.

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Jeff: It's genius. I know how people think. I know how people think *I* think. I can see it all like a map inside my head. Everyone's so stupid, even you. Or maybe God just loves me.

Sherlock Holmes: Either way, you're wasted as a cabbie.

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Dr John Watson: Well, you want me to come with you?

Sherlock Holmes: I like company when I go out and, uh... I think better when I talk aloud. Skull just attracts attention, so... Problem?

Dr John Watson: Yeah. Sergeant Donovan.

Sherlock Holmes: What about her?

Dr John Watson: She said... you get off on this. You enjoy it.

Sherlock Holmes: And I said 'dangerous', and here you are.

[smiles broadly and leaves]

Dr John Watson: Damn it!

[gets to his feet and hobbles after Sherlock]

Dr John Watson: Well? You asked me to come. I'm assuming it's important.

Sherlock Holmes: Oh, yeah, of course. Can I borrow your phone?

Dr John Watson: My phone?

Sherlock Holmes: Don't wanna use mine. Always a chance the number will be recognised. It's on the website.

Dr John Watson: Mrs Hudson's got a phone...

Sherlock Holmes: Yeah, she's downstairs. I tried shouting but she didn't hear.

Dr John Watson: I was the other side of London.

Sherlock Holmes: There was no hurry.

Dr John Watson: Here. So, what's this about, the case?

Sherlock Holmes: Her case.

Dr John Watson: Her case?

Sherlock Holmes: Her suitcase, yes, obviously. The murderer took her suitcase - first big mistake.

Dr John Watson: Okay, he took her case. So?

Sherlock Holmes: It's no use. There's no other way. Well, have to risk it. On my desk there's a number. I want you to send a text.

Dr John Watson: You brought me here... to send a text?

Sherlock Holmes: Text, yes, the number on my desk .

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Dr John Watson: We can't giggle, it's a crime scene. Stop it.

Sherlock Holmes: You're the one who shot him.

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Mycroft: You don't seem very afraid.

Dr John Watson: You don't seem very frightening.

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Dr John Watson: What are you so happy about?

Sherlock Holmes: Moriarty.

Dr John Watson: What's Moriarty?

Sherlock Holmes: I've absolutely no idea.

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Sherlock Holmes: Yeah, but if you were dying, if you'd been murdered, in your very last few seconds, what would you say?

Dr John Watson: "Please, God, let me live."

Sherlock Holmes: Oh, use your imagination!

Dr John Watson: [having recently returned from battle] I don't have to.

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Sherlock Holmes: You're a doctor. In fact, you're an army doctor.

Dr. John Watson: Yes.

Sherlock Holmes: Any good?

Dr. John Watson: Very good.

Sherlock Holmes: Seen a lot of injuries then. Violent deaths.

Dr. John Watson: Well... Yes.

Sherlock Holmes: A bit of trouble too, I'll bet.

Dr. John Watson: Of course. Yes. Enough... for a lifetime, far too much.

Sherlock Holmes: Want to see some more?

Dr. John Watson: Oh, God, yes!

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Sherlock Holmes: [about the victim] She's been married for at least ten years, but not happily. She's had a string of lovers, but none of them knew she was married.

DI Lestrade: Oh, for God's sake, if you're just making this up...!

Sherlock Holmes: Her wedding ring, ten years old at least. The rest of her jewelry's been regularly cleaned but not her wedding ring. State of her marriage, right there. The inside of the ring is shinier than the outside; that means it's regularly removed. The only polishing she gets is when she works it off her finger. It's not for work, look at her nails. She doesn't work with her hands; so, what, or rather who, DOES she remove her rings for? Clearly not one lover - she'd never sustain the fiction of being single over that amount of time - so more likely a string of them. Simple.

Dr John Watson: That's brilliant!

[everyone looks at him]

Dr John Watson: Sorry.

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Sherlock Holmes: Good shot.

Dr. John Watson: Yes, it was. It must have been. Through that window.

Sherlock Holmes: Well, you'd know. Did you get the powder burns out of your fingers? I don't supposed you'd serve time for this, but let's avoid the court case. Are you all right?

Dr. John Watson: Yes, 'course I'm all right.

Sherlock Holmes: Well, you have just killed a man.

Dr. John Watson: Yes, I know. That's true, isn't it? But... he wasn't a very nice man.

Sherlock Holmes: No. He wasn't, really, was he?

Dr. John Watson: And a bloody awful cabbie.

Sherlock Holmes: That's true, he was a bad cabbie. You should have seen the route he took to get us here.

Dr. John Watson: Stop it, you can't giggle, it's a crime scene.

Sherlock Holmes: You're the one who shot him.

Dr. John Watson: Keep your voice down! Sorry, it's just nerves. You were, uh, you were going to take that damn pill, weren't you?

Sherlock Holmes: Course I wasn't. I was biding my time. Knew you'd turn up.

Dr. John Watson: No you didn't. That's how you get your kicks, isn't it? Risking your life to prove you're clever.

Sherlock Holmes: Why would I do that?

Dr. John Watson: Cause you're an idiot.

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Sherlock Holmes: I'm not a psychopath, Anderson, I'm a high functioning sociopath. Do your research.

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[Watson confesses he can't stay in London on an Army pension]

Mike Stamford: I dunno. Get a flatshare or something.

Dr John Watson: Come on. Who'd want me for a flatmate?

[Stamford chuckles]

Dr John Watson: What?

Mike Stamford: You're the second person to say that to me today.

Dr John Watson: Who's the first?

[cut to an image of Sherlock Holmes opening a bodybag]

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Mycroft Holmes: I'm the closest thing to a friend that Sherlock Holmes is capable of having.

Dr. John Watson: And what's that?

Mycroft Holmes: An enemy. If you were to ask him, he would say an archenemy. He does love to be dramatic.

Dr. John Watson: Well, thank God you're above all that.

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Dr John Watson: He's your brother?

Sherlock Holmes: Of course, he's my brother.

Dr John Watson: So he's not...

Sherlock Holmes: Not what?

Dr John Watson: I don't know - a criminal mastermind?

Sherlock Holmes: Close enough.

Mycroft Holmes: For goodness sake, I occupy a minor position in the British government.

Sherlock Holmes: He *is* the British government when he's not too busy being the British Secret Service or the CIA on a free-lance basis. Good evening, Mycroft. Try not to start a war before I get home. You know what it does for the traffic.

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Dr John Watson: So, why do you put up with him?

DI Lestrade: Because I'm desperate, that's why. And because Sherlock Holmes is a great man. And I think one day, if we're very very lucky, he might even be a good one.

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Sherlock Holmes: What happened to the lipstick?

Molly Hooper: It wasn't working for me.

Sherlock Holmes: Really? I thought it was a big improvement. Your mouth's too... small now.

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Sherlock Holmes: I'll have the gun, please.

Jeff: Are you sure?

Sherlock Holmes: Definitely. The gun.

Jeff: You don't want to phone a friend?

Sherlock Holmes: The gun.

[Jeff pulls the trigger and a flame flickers from the "gun" muzzle]

Sherlock Holmes: I know a real gun when I see one.

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Sherlock Holmes: The game, Mrs. Hudson, is on!

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Sherlock Holmes: Good evening, Mycroft. Try not to start a war before I get home. You know what it does to traffic.

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[first lines]

Ella: How's your blog going?

Dr John Watson: Yeah, good. Very good.

Ella: You haven't written a word, have you?

Dr John Watson: You just wrote, "still has trust issues".

Ella: And you read my writing upside down. You see what I mean? John, you're a soldier. It's going to take you a while to adjust to civilian life. And writing a blog about everything that happens to you will honestly help you.

Dr John Watson: Nothing happens to me.

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Dr John Watson: Are you still at Barts, then?

Mike Stamford: Teaching now, yeah. Bright young things, like we used to be. God, I hate them.

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Mycroft Holmes: You don't seem very frightened.

Dr. John Watson: You don't seem very frightening.

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[last lines]

Anthea: Sir, shall we go?

Mycroft Holmes: Interesting, that soldier fellow. He could be the making of my brother - or make him worse than ever. Either way, we'd better upgrade their surveillance status - Grade 3, Active.

Anthea: Sorry, sir. Who's status?

Mycroft Holmes: Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson.

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Sherlock Holmes: Brilliant! Yes! Ah, four serial suicides and now a note, Oh, it's Christmas!

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Sherlock Holmes: You're a doctor. In fact, you're an army doctor.

Dr John Watson: Yes.

Sherlock Holmes: Any good?

Dr John Watson: Very good.

Sherlock Holmes: Seen a lot of injuries then? Violent deaths?

Dr John Watson: Well... yes.

Sherlock Holmes: Bit of trouble, too, I bet.

Dr John Watson: Of course. Yes. Enough for a lifetime. Far too much.

Sherlock Holmes: Want to see some more?

Dr John Watson: Oh, God, yes!

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Molly Hooper: [seeing Sherlock violently flog a freshly dead human corpse with a riding crop] So... bad day, was it?

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Mrs. Hudson: I'll make you that cuppa. You rest your leg.

Dr John Watson: DAMN my leg! Sorry. I'm so sorry. It's just sometimes this bloody leg...

Mrs. Hudson: I understand, dear. I've got a hip.

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Sherlock Holmes: Okay, you've got questions.

Dr John Watson: Yeah. Where are we going?

Sherlock Holmes: Crime scene. Next?

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Sherlock Holmes: That's the frailty of genius, John. It needs an audience.

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Sherlock Holmes: Come on, THINK! Who do we trust even though we don't know them? Who passes unnoticed wherever they go? Who hunts in the middle of a crowd?

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Jeff: I don't wanna kill you, Mr. Holmes. I'm gonna talk to ya, and then you're gonna kill yourself.

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Jeff: One thing about being a cabbie, you always know a nice quite spot for a murder. I'm surprised more of us don't branch out.

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Sherlock Holmes: Who'd sponsor a serial killer?

Jeff: Who would be a fan of Sherlock Holmes?

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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