- When Dan accidentally exposes a participant in the Witness Protection Program, it prompts a dangerous crime family to send a hitman after the witness to prevent him from testifying. In order to protect the man, Jack and Dan must join forces with a beautiful yet no-nonsense U.S. Marshal before time runs out.—Fox Publicity
- 10 p.m. Texas State Fairgrounds, Code 13 in progress We see Dan (Bradley Whitford) screech up to his trailer, telling Jack (Colin Hanks) he has a bad feeling. He sees someone in his trailer. He thinks it's an ambush and he decides to launch a pre-ambush-ambush to save his dog.
One week earlier Dan examines a Taser at work, having blown off the Taser safety meeting. He's suspicious of the plastic. They head to the scene of their latest case, stolen bicycles.
The lady of the house tells them her teenagers don't lock up the bikes. Dan pauses to flirt with her shamelessly. Jack thinks someone may have borrowed the bikes since the garage door was closed. The woman's dentist husband returns and tries to act surprised when they tell him the bikes were stolen.
Two Days Earlier A guy in a track suit (so we know he's a bookie) roughs up the dentist for not having the full payment. He offers up the bikes.
Back in the garage, the dentist tells Jack and Dan not to worry about it. The wife says she knows how to find them: Kid Finders, GPS devices she put on the bikes.
As they track the bikes, Dan whines the GPS seems unsportsmanlike. Jack suggests maybe, possibly he might want to learn a little about technology.
They close in on the bikes, the Boston bookie out with his wife for a ride. Dan jumps out and accosts them. Mike (Spencer Garrett) and Karen (Sally Ann Brooks) are shocked. Mike claims it's harassment and starts making a scene. Dan takes out his taser, earning a "don't Tase me, bro" from Mike, whom he promptly tases.
Dan protests it just went off. Then he shows Jack what he was doing and, naturally, ends up tasing Jack.
Back at the station, Liz (Jenny Wade) calls Jack and tells him to let Mike go - he's in the federal witness protection program. Jack doesn't see how it can get any worse.
40 minutes earlier Back at the scene of the tasing a kid nearby records the whole thing on his phone and posts it to YouTube. In Boston, a guy shows his buddies the video and recognizes Mike as Sully, the guy who ratted them out. They call the Duke.
The Duke asks how much and where, then says Sully is a dead man.
At the department, Jack and Dan are subjected to relentless teasing for the tasing, which Dan also finds funny. US Marshal Justine Moreno (Lola Glaudini) meets them, explaining who Mike Sullivan is. Dan is totally distracted by her hotness as she explains Sully can take down a crime boss named O'Reilly (Jim Blumetti) with his testimony, so they have to let him go.
At a seedy motel in Dallas, the Duke studies up on Sully.
The Sullivans pack up their house as Karen yells at Sully for going back to the action. He says he was bored. He wants to meet a guy to pick up some "stuff" before they move, but Justine the Marshal informs them they're leaving now.
Jack and Dan meet with Liz, who tells them the ACLU is suing them. Liz suggests to Dan an apology might be in order. Jack asks for his. "I'm sorry you screamed like a girl when I shot you with my toy plastic gun," Dan says.
Jack and Dan go the Sullivans so Dan can apologize. It gives him another opportunity to hit on Justine, who also drives a Trans-Am. She blows him off.
They stand on the Sullivans' lawn as Dan rhapsodizes about how Justine makes him feel like a big old bolt of lightning hit him in the chest. Jack knows exactly what he's talking about - from when Dan tased him.
The don't notice "the Duke" pull up dressed as a delivery man. But then they decide it's odd Sully's getting a delivery. Dan grabs the package and throws it under the moving van, then he helpfully tackles Justine to protect her with his entire body. Nothing happens. There's a "that better be a gun in your pocket" joke.
Then the package explodes. Justine realizes her witnesses are gone.
Her boss arrives. She calls him Gordon. He reminds her it's Assistant Deputy Director Gordon. She calls him ADD Gordon. She's a female Dan.
Gordon recognizes Jack and Dan as the "taser morons." She tells them they saved Sullivan. Jack suggests the hitman doesn't know he missed and they could tell the media the Sullivans are dead to buy them time to look for them.
He takes Justine off the case and she promptly recruits Jack and Dan to help her look for them.
In Boston, O'Reilly calls The Duke to compliment him for a job well done. The Duke isn't satisfied they're dead.
Jack promises Justine that Dan knows all the degenerates in town and can find the Sullivans.
Cut to Sully discovering his drawer full of $100,000 in cash is empty. He has one guess who took it.
1 Hour Earlier The dentist who gave him the bikes sees the news report about Sully's "death" and asks his wife if they have a crowbar.
Back in Sully's office, we see his drawer was crowbarred open. Jack, Dan and Justine bust in, guns drawn. Dan's counting it as his first date with Justine.
The Duke drives to the airport and hears the police scanner say Sully is still alive. He turns around.
Back at the department, Justine tells the Sullivans they'll leave town tomorrow. She leaves them alone and Karen reassures Mike he's not a rat, he was just protecting his family.
Dan suggests to Justine they go out and celebrate then retire to his trailer for a night in the "aluminum love cradle." She tells him she wouldn't have slept with him in his prime.
Just then, Jack and Dan notice other detectives bringing in a handcuffed Duke. They say they arrested him for drunk and disorderly.
24 Minutes Earlier The Duke stands in the street near a couple of cops waiting for them to notice him, then he throws a brick through a car window and gives up.
In the station, the Duke says he'd like to talk to the marshal in charge.
Out at drinks, Liz compliments Jack on the bust of Duke. He tries to get her to stick around for dinner, but she leaves.
Dan calls Jack, distraught over Justine. His bad feeling from the beginning was rejection. He sees someone in his trailer. He busts in and finds Justine with his dog in her lap. He calls Jack back and tells him everything is fine, really fine.
Justine tells him she was impressed with how he saved Sullivan. She starts some ferocious making out with the mustache.
The next morning he wakes up with only his dog and her sock (yes, he sniffs it).
ADD Gordon cuffs Duke in his van, saying he's got the marshal in charge. We see the Duke spit a paper clip out.
18 Months Earlier Duke sits in his basement and practices uncuffing himself just using a paperclip.
In the van, Gordon teases Duke for getting caught. Then Duke frees himself and chokes Gordon asking where Sully is.
At work, Dan is all choked up, saying he was used last night, like a piece of meat. He cries into her sock.
Justine drives the Sullivans out of town as Mike asks to go get his money back. They're driving down the road when an SUV comes right at them, running them off the road and flipping their car.
Duke gets out with a gun. Justine is out cold. Duke drags Sully from the car and aims at him. With Justine and Karen unconscious, Sully pleadingly offers Duke $100,000 to spare them. He offers to take Duke to it. Justine wakes up as they leave.
At work, Dan continues pining for Justine and Jack suggests he call her.
In the wrecked car, Justine's phone rings. He tells her he might love her and he'll wax her legs. She tells him the deal. After making sure her face isn't mangled and her "chesticle area" is OK, he listens as she tells him where Sully's taking the Duke.
Back at the dentist's house, Sully finds the dentist has tons of brand new stuff. He's already spent $80,000 of Sully's money, losing at the track.
Jack and Dan pull up outside as Duke tells Sully and the dentist to face the wall.
Dan comes crashing through the front window (what is that? four shows in a row someone comes through a wall or window?) and points two guns at the Duke. But after he drops his, the Duke disarms Dan and takes him hostage as Jack comes in.
Jack bluffs about backup coming in. Duke holds his gun to Dan's head and tells Jack to drop his gun. Much to Jack's surprise, Dan tells him to do what Duke says. Then Dan rambles about the life he's lived and loving a thousand women and having a few regrets, like tasing people he shouldn't have.
Jack gets the message. He puts down his gun and whips out his taser. He hits Dan square in the chest, thereby zapping the Duke, who's holding onto him. As the jolts rip through him, Dan apologizes profusely to Jack for his earlier tasing.
Later, Dan checks in with Justine, who's OK. She tells them her boss was found alive on the side of the road.
15 minutes earlier Gordon is handcuffed to a stop sign in his purple boxer briefs as a kid skateboards by and records him.
Justine and Dan say their good-byes. Duke asks how to make a deal.
Cut to O'Reilly in Boston, federal agents arresting him for conspiracy to commit murder.
Two Days Later Taser Deposition Sully tells the lawyer he saw nothing, despite the video. He wants to plead the fifth. The lawyer explains that makes no sense given that he's the victim. But Sully says he's no rat.
Liz breaks the good news to Jack and Dan. Dan's still moping about Justine. Jack says there are just some girls you can't get over. She, in turns, says there are just some videos you can't get over and fakes his tasing.
Waiting for the elevator, Dan sees a hot chick whose chesticle region seems to help him quickly get over Justine.
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