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Mental (2012) Poster

(2012)

Quotes

Barry Moochmore: Oy, she's stayin' in your room.

Jane Moochmore: Where will I sleep?

Barry Moochmore: You share with Jane.

Jane Moochmore: I *am* Jane.

Barry Moochmore: I don't care about that anymore. Tell your problems to whats-her-name.

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Coral Moochmore: I can't go any further. I won't.

Shaz: You don't get to the top of this mountain, Coral, then you're nuthin', just like they say ya are.

Coral Moochmore: What's the point of getting to the top anyway?

Shaz: Not being at the bottom.

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Shaz: America, Europe, Asia, and all the way down here is Australia. Alone. Isolated. Ever wonder why? Why we're down here?

Jane Moochmore: Well, we were a penal colony.

Shaz: That's the cover story, yeah, but historically where have they always sent the loonies? As far away as possible. You can't get any further away than Australia. We weren't a penal colony, we was a lunatic asylum. Our ancestors were loonies and this is the result. Have a look around. There's no such thing as normal, there's just different shades of mental. Your totally mental are in the lunatic asylums. The rest of them:

[indicates other diners in the cafe]

Shaz: the delusionals, the borderlines, compulsives, paranoid, schizoid make up Australia as we know it. We're nothing but a living experiment in madness under constant observation by the psychiatric community of the world.

[indicates security camera]

Leanne Moochmore: But, if we're all under observation and mental, how come we're allowed to leave?

Jane Moochmore: Kylie Minogue. She left. She's practically British.

Shaz: In any experiment there's test mice and control mice. Control mice are marked in some way and sent off into the normal world as comparisons. Kylie Minogue's a control mouse. Cate Blanchett - control mouse. Russell Crowe - a control mouse out of control. Rupert Murdoch, Nicole Kidman, the list of control mice is endless.

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Shaz: I love ya, ya cunt.

Trevor Blundell: Ya fucking mad bitch.

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Shaz: I love ya, ya cunt.

Trevor Blundell: You fucking mad bitch.

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Shaz: And she's very, very sorry.

Doris: I'm very, very sorry.

Shirley Moochmore: For what?

Shaz: For being a cunt.

[the others gasp]

Shaz: You are a cunt. You are the cuntiest cunt of all time. Admit your cunthood. It's an irrefutable fact, like gravity.

Shirley Moochmore: Oh please don't make her say that.

Shaz: Oh, all right, she's sorry for not being a very good sister.

Shirley Moochmore: I'm sorry too.

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Shaz: Do you know the meaning of the word 'conformia'?

[children all nod]

Shaz: Well, I don't. I instinctively do not know it.

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Jane Moochmore: That's Michelle. She's mental. We all are.

Shaz: I'll be the judge of that.

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Receptionist: [knocking] Barry! Mayor Moochmore!

Barry Moochmore: [through locked door] I'm in conference!

Receptionist: There's an emergency at home.

Jean: [door opens. A lady sits on the bed, dishevelled, make-up smudged, adjusting her clothing. She points to a painting on the wall] I painted that.

Barry Moochmore: I'm helping Jean widen her access road.

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Shirley Moochmore: Are you one of Dr Thornbender's patients as well?

Sandra: Yep. And I love her. And I don't like whiteys as a rule, but Shaz... Shaz isn't white. She's a new colour. She's mauve.

Shaz: Awwwwww

Sandra: It's true, Shaz, you're mauve. You're fucking mauve. Now Shaz knows. She knows. She's gonna change your fucking life.

Shirley Moochmore: That's the impression I get.

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Shaz: I'll show ya the meaning of the word 'mental'. Page 354.

Coral Moochmore: [reads] 'Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.'

Shaz: [points to neighbour scrubbing her garbage bins] Yeah that's her.

Coral Moochmore: 'Stubborn, stingy, possessive, uncreative and unimaginative, directed to meaningless activities that require being tidy and meticulous.' It is her.

Shaz: Yeah, they're all in there, the 'ole neighbourhood. There's that delusional over there. He mowed the same strip of grass yesterd'y. He can't help himself.

[runs over two garbage bins and is chased down the street by a neighbour]

Shaz: Look, look, look at him, look. Upset the delicate balance of their fantasy world, they go nuts.

Coral Moochmore: But they can't all be mental.

Jane Moochmore: What are the odds of that?

Shaz: Weehee. You just stumbled on the meaning of life and ya don't even know it.

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Barry Moochmore: Shirley. Shirley. I have been saving this for a special occasion. Your very own waterfall.

[holds up commemorative plaque]

Barry Moochmore: Named it after you. Put it through the Council last year. It's in the rainforest near Mount Warning. It's only a few hours' hike from the road... if you use a machete.

Shirley Moochmore: [takes plaque] Oh. Shirley Moochmore Falls. It's true - I did fall. I fell deep in a forest and there was no one there to hear me. Except there was someone... and it wasn't you. You had a family, Barry. You had a wife.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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