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"Community" Epidemiology (TV Episode 2010) Poster

(TV Series)

(2010)

Quotes

Abed Nadir: [to Troy] Make me proud. Be the first black man to make it to the end.

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[Rich turns into a zombie]

Rich: [slurred speech] I thought that maybe I was special.

Britta Perry: Special? You're not special! I'm special!

[she pulls up her sleeve to reveal a bite mark on her arm]

Britta Perry: I was bit ten minutes ago and I'm...

[her speech slurs as she turns into a zombie]

Jeff Winger: Oh, great - nobody's special!

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Annie Edison: Guys? Shirley's costume is once again unintentionally ambiguous. I don't know who she's supposed to be, but she's definitely not Miss Piggy. Repeat: not Miss Piggy. You're on your own.

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[Jeff, Troy, and Abed sneak through the basement]

Jeff Winger: Quiet, nerds! Do you hear something?

[They sneak forward. Suddenly, a cat jumps in front of them]

Jeff Winger: Jeez!

[laughs]

Jeff Winger: It was just a cat. Let's keep going.

[They continue through the basement. The cat jumps in front of them again]

Troy Barnes: Holy crap!

[They continue to sneak through the basement. The cat jumps in front of them again]

Jeff Winger: What is up with that cat?

Troy Barnes: Is someone throwing it?

Abed Nadir: Keep going.

[They continue. The cat jumps in front of them again]

Jeff Winger: You know, let's not keep going. Because there's an insane cat down here!

Troy Barnes: But what about the zombies?

Jeff Winger: Back burner, Troy! This cat must be dealt with!

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[Chang approaches Jeff and Britta dressed as a female figure skater]

Señor Chang: Guess who I am.

Britta Perry: Michelle Kwan?

Señor Chang: Wrong.

Jeff Winger: Kristi Yamaguchi?

Señor Chang: Peggy Flemming. And you have just been proven racist by the racist prover.

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Abed Nadir: Where's your costume?

[We see Troy with his shirt off, wearing a toilet seat cover around his neck with "Dracula" written on it]

Troy Barnes: Trying something new.

Abed Nadir: But our costumes go together. If you're not who you are, then I'm just some guy in a spandex suit and a bike helmet.

Troy Barnes: Well, I'm a sexy Dracula.

Abed Nadir: You mean vampire.

Troy Barnes: I don't need to know which Dracula to know I'm a Dracula. Nerd.

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Rich: First, I need to know something. Was anybody bitten before they came in here?

Señor Chang: Ya bit? Huh? Ya bit?

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[Troy re-enters the zombie infested library in his Power Loader costume]

Troy Barnes: That's right. Witness the power of imagination!

[the zombies easily rip his armor off]

Troy Barnes: Okay. I don't know why I thought this would work.

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[zombie Annie approaches Troy wearing her Little Red Riding Hood costume]

Troy Barnes: Annie. My, what big fists you have. In your face!

[punches her]

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Señor Chang: Guess who I am.

[the zombies turn to him and moan]

Señor Chang: Or don't.

[runs]

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Rich: [checking someone's temperature] A hundred and two. This may be food poisoning.

Dean Pelton: Rich. What did I tell you?

Rich: To rule out food poisoning.

Dean Pelton: Yes, that's true. But especially don't say it out loud.

[Star-Burns visits the quarantine area dressed as a pirate]

Star-Burns: Who wants to walk my plank, huh?

[Pierce grabs his arm and bites him. Everyone screams]

Rich: Okay, I'm ruling out food poisoning.

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[zombie Leonard, dressed as a pumpkin, makes a move on Shirley]

Shirley Bennett: Leonard, behave yourself. I'm a Christian woman.

[Leonard persists and Shirley holds up her index finger]

Shirley Bennett: Leonard, you better back that pumpkin ass up or I'm gonna make a pie.

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[the study group takes shelter in the study room]

Troy Barnes: Shouldn't we be barricading the doors?

Abed Nadir: No, I think we're okay.

[he peeks through the blinds and sees a zombie throw herself against the window]

Abed Nadir: Let me help you.

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[Rich, dressed as a banana, examines Star-Burns after Pierce bites him]

Rich: His symptoms are progressing even faster than everyone else's.

Annie Edison: How much of that taco meat stuff did you eat, Star-Burns?

Star-Burns: I didn't eat any. My name's Alex.

Annie Edison: Whoa, it must have transferred through Pierce's bite.

Rich: I think you're right. Hey, you make quite the little nurse.

Annie Edison: Thank you, Rich. You are quite the banana.

Star-Burns: Why don't you guys just get a room?

[Turns into a zombie]

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Rich: Hey, Jeff. It's me, Rich from pottery class. Doc Potterywood, remember?

Annie Edison: Rich, not now! Guys, there's some kind of infection at the party that's making people act weird and bite others. We need to coordinate an orderly evacuation without causing unnecessary panic.

[we hear a woman scream and see her being bitten by infected Leonard]

Troy Barnes: Holy crap! Leonard's a zombie!

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Abed Nadir: There. There's a window. If we climb that chain-link fence, we can get up the wall and squeeze through it.

[Jeff looks at the door, then his suit]

Jeff Winger: I vote we take the door.

Abed Nadir: He doesn't want to dirty his suit.

Troy Barnes: For real?

[Jeff opens the door and lets the zombies in]

Jeff Winger: Clothes make the man, Troy. What the hell?

[the zombies wrestle Jeff to the floor. Zombie Rich enters wearing Jeff's jacket]

Jeff Winger: That's my jacket! My jacket! You're stretching it! You're stretching it!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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