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Ted
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Parents Guide for
Ted (2012) More at IMDbPro »

The content of this page was created directly by users and has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
Since the beliefs that parents want to instill in their children can vary greatly, we ask that, instead of adding your personal opinions about what is right or wrong in a film, you use this feature to help parents make informed viewing decisions by describing the facts of relevant scenes in the title for each one of the different categories: Sex and Nudity, Violence and Gore, Profanity, Alcohol/Drugs/Smoking, and Frightening/Intense Scenes.
Visit our Parents Guide Help to learn more

Sex & Nudity

7/10

"Ted" has many crude and sexual jokes

A teddy bear says he mailed a letter to hasbro about not having a penis.

Lance Armstrong's Bronzed "Nut" is seen. (Brief, not graphic at all)

A woman's breasts and abdomen are shown (Not Sexual) with sharpie drawn all over. a teddy bear then makes a comment on them saying "they look like garfield's eyes).

A teddy bear and a human have sex, this is shown from the side and is covered mostly by boxes.

A teddy bear tries to impress a girl at a supermarket by humping the cash register, sucking on a candy bar and squirting soap (thought to be semen at first) in his eyes. (This is the most inappropriate part of the movie).

and some more references throughout.

Violence & Gore

4/10

Ted unleashes some painful blows when he and John get into a two minute brutal motel-room brawl. The pounding battle smashes mirrors and pictures, as well as a table and chairs and holes are made in the walls. The fight ends with John's bare backside being whipped with an antenna and a TV set falling on his crotch.

Another raucous melee breaks out at Ted's party when a stoned reveler punches through a wall and an Asian neighbor comes running into the room with a butcher knife.

Blows land and furniture is demolished in that case as well.

Young boys beat up a smaller kid.

An adult John punches a boy in the face and knocks him out cold.

A boy reports that his father hurt him badly when he once said a bad word.

A blitzed Ted plays a game of five-finger fillet and stabs a guy's hand with his knife. Blood is briefly shown.

A car chase results in a crash, breaking car windows and crumpling quite a bit of sheet metal.

Someone gets whacked in the face with a mic stand and tumbles unconscious to the ground.

Ted accidentally nails his own paw to a wall.

John accidentally punches Lori in the head on the dance floor.

A stalking father and son rip off Ted's ear, slash open his stuffing-filled side and eventually tears him in half. He lives.

Profanity

About 55 F-words or its derivatives, 12 sexual references, many obscene and sexually suggestive hand and body gestures, 47 scatological terms, 22 anatomical terms, 12 mild obscenities, 6 derogatory terms for gay people, 2 religious profanities and 3 religious exclamations.

Name-calling (Sinead O'Connor, paler, ugly, short, sleaze, snob, waspy white guy, Snuggie's attorney, furry little guy, sucka, jerk, jazzy [sexual reference deleted], Tubby McFatFuck, crazy, idiot, Susan Boyle, the robot from Aliens.)

The two main characters regularly smoke pot and drink beer recreationally.

The main characters try cocaine for the first time at a party, although you don't actually see them doing it.

Characters also drink shots of hard liquor and champagne at a restaurant. No one is shown to have a problem or an addiction, and no drug dealers are shown.

Ted and John are both seen smoking.

All the humor is frequently shocking and offensive, it's rarely hateful or angry.

There is car chase that some might find intense.

Ted is being pursued by a stalker. He falls from a very tall structure.

Ted is ripped in half, and dies, towards the end of the film. John and Lori fail at repairing him, by stitching. He is brought back to life, at the very end, by Lori's wish.

Page last updated by shaun_you, 2 days ago
Top 5 Contributors: Radishes, InglouriousJoker, alexjackson9898, movie28, moviemaniac008

MPAA:
Rated R for crude and sexual content, pervasive language, and some drug use

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