- Serena van der Woodsen: Well, if I cut everyone out of my life who made a mistake, I wouldn't have anyone left.
- Celia 'CeCe' Rhodes: Oh, darling... Oh, you look lovely on your mug shot. It was smart of you to turn yourself in so that you could make sure you had your hair done.
- Lily van der Woodsen: Yes, mother, that's why I did it.
- [clears her throat]
- Epperly Lawrence: [to Chuck, who's scheming to get back Blair] Well, I hope it works out for you. Ever since I got back from Bali, I'm a sucker for romance.
- Carol Rhodes: [to Serena] Your mother used to have long hair like yours, but that was when she was crashing on tour buses, before getting Brazilian blowouts. Right, Rufus? Love those loafers! Are they Todd's, by any chance?
- Carol Rhodes: I work hard to keep you away from this world. I don't want you to become a socialite obsessed with clothes, clubbing and having your picture taken.
- Ivy Dickens: That's not fair!
- Carol Rhodes: Fair is irrelevant! I'm your mother. I make the rules! You need to trust me! I've never lied to you.