Shark Night 3D (2011) Poster

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1/10
No so bad it's good here, this is just plain bad.
Jimmy Collins18 November 2011
My god this movie is horrible, I am quite a fan of shark movies and all that jazz do I looked forward to this new installment in the genre, however I must say that this movie is just ridiculous. For these movies to work I think they need to have some humor thrown in to the mix, films such as Piranha 3d know what they are and play with it but Shark Night just takes itself far too seriously and in the end it's just bad bad bad.

Even Sara Paxton and Chris Zylka, two young actors who I quite enjoy couldn't save this film. The fact that you barely even see any sharks is dumb too, basically all you see us fin and that's it, and the scenes when you do see a shark the special effects are so cheaply done that I felt like I was having a joke played on me, the special effects are not much better than the ones that you see in the SyFy TV movies like Sharktopus, but even those films are better than this garbage.

One scene when a shark literally flies out of the water and attacks a man who is hanging on to a tree is just ridiculous, these people can't be really taking it serious I hope. I strongly urge everyone to save their money and go and rent either The Reef or a SyFy film, anything is better than this. I hope Sara Paxton is able to recover.
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3/10
Lame and tame.
juiceman107124 September 2011
I was not expecting something as enjoyable or over the top as last year's Piranha 3D but I was at least expecting some time killing shark attack fun. It seems however that they couldn't even pull that off.

The script is horrific and the plot is ho-hum but more importantly, takes way too long to get going. Every character is dull and hollow and the stale acting doesn't help. But in all honesty this could be forgiven had the film actually delivered on what was expected. There's surprisingly very little in the way of shark carnage. The PG13 rating means death scenes mostly consist of some flailing in red water. Other death scenes are almost completely off-screen. I'm not a gore fanatic but when the film has nothing else going for it, this could have easily saved it to a degree. They don't even capitalize on the 3D. There were a few genuinely creepy moments in the film that actually made me want to cover my eyes (something I haven't wanted to do in over 15 years)but these are so few and far between. I longed for more of these but the film seems to be too interested in silly melodramatic plot. The film also just takes itself way too seriously to the point where it just isn't fun to watch... which is all you'd be wanting going into a 3D horror movie about sharks.

It's a cheap attempt to cash in on the success of 'Piranha 3D' but without the tongue-in-cheek self-awareness or over the top gory thrills, there's very little to recommend in 'Shark Night 3D'. It could have worked as a campy throwback or It could have even worked as a more serious horror movie because I did feel uneasy at times but it really doesn't do either any justice.
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3/10
A crushing and soulless disappointment
DonFishies2 October 2011
Seven young and pretty undergraduates head to a secluded lakeside cottage in Louisiana to take a load off and enjoy a wild and crazy weekend away. But things take a turn for the worst when a member of the group is attacked by a shark. Isolated with no cell service and no help in sight, the group quickly realizes they are on their own, but the water around them is not safe.

I wanted Shark Night 3D to be as fun as Piranha 3D was last year. Despite the PG-13 rating, I held onto a desperate hope that it would somehow manage to live up to that level of gleeful insanity and absolutely ridiculous trashiness. I knew deep down it would never be anywhere near comparable, but everything about the film suggested it would be an enjoyable ride.

Sadly, this is not the case.

Instead of getting a ridiculous movie about sharks mauling pretty 20- somethings that embraces the sheer silliness of the very idea, we get a deadly serious, high-concept slasher film that seems to have no concept of what fun is. Sure we get the typical horror movie wise ass quips sprinkled here and there, and some rather intriguing reasoning as to why the attacks are occurring. But in-between these moments, we get stilted dialogue, wooden performances, characters with next to no dimensionality whatsoever, and just about nothing else. Despite it being 2011, the film feels like it belongs to a different era – one where it has not realized how outrageous and frivolous the genre has become. It offers nothing new by way of ideas or story, and somehow thinks an ode to Jaws at the beginning of the film is appropriate. I initially wanted to criticize Shark Night for cribbing from Piranha. But in watching the film, it is obvious they learned absolutely nothing from Alexandre Aja and his crew.

But while the bad story and worse acting are to be expected, what is really disappointing is just how much of a grand tease the whole movie is. The rating may be a contributing factor, but the only thing it seems to cut out is gratuitous nudity. The T and A is still plentiful, and the film is actually surprisingly graphic in some instances. But the majority of deaths, the best part of any slasher film, are merely hinted at. We see characters get pulled underwater, and just when you think we will see their grisly end, the film inexplicably cuts to the next scene. Hell, we do not even get the obligatory shot confirming that a character did indeed die. How do we know they did not manage to fight off the shark and survive to fight another day? And since there are about ten people in the entire cast, most of which meet an untimely end, that is a whole lot of teasing and not a lot of pay off. I can only think of one that is explicitly shown, and even that seemed like it was pushing it based on what happens during the rest of the film. It is all very arbitrary, but it seems like a rather obscene faux pas on the part of the filmmakers.

Remember how comically bad and exaggerated the piranha looked in Piranha 3D? Somehow, the sharks in Shark Night 3D look even worse. There is nothing realistic about them. They look more cartoonish than anything, standing out as not even attempting to look like they belong in any of the scenes. They make memories of the shark from Jaws appear more frighteningly authentic than I thought possible. But this is only when the sharks are swimming around underwater, looking menacing and hungry . When they actually interact with the characters, they look absolutely absurd and preposterous. A shot involving a shark leaping out of the water to attack one of the characters as he zips by on a jet-ski looks even worse than those ludicrously awful effects you may have seen from Shark Attack 3: Megalodon. They may actually qualify for some of the worst effects in the past decade. Surely the special effects team realized they were working on an actual movie with a budget, and not some straight-to-DVD Asylum knockoff. So what could possibly be there excuse for such a terrible job?

I think the only thing I remotely enjoyed was how impressive the underwater shots looked in 3D. They were clearly shot with the format in mind, and look absolutely stunning even with a fake shark in the background. They frequently took me entirely out of the film, as they look like they belong in a significantly better project. The shots are just so tranquil and so beautiful that they may make you forget what an awful movie you are sitting through. With the exception of an over-the- top explosion, this is just about the only thing that sizzles in 3D. There are no other elements that even attempt to take advantage of the format.

When I tell you that Shark Night 3D is one of the worst films of the year, with next to no redeeming qualities, you better believe I am not lying. I was hoping it would be somewhat fun, but instead it was one of the most annoying and agonizing films I have ever put myself through. The film is too serious to be enjoyable, and fails to deliver in almost every respect. The filmmakers and cast should be ashamed of themselves. When the credits rolled, I could not leave the theatre fast enough because I was ashamed to have actually watched it. Apparently there is a rap music video after the credits conclude, featuring the entire cast. Somehow, I still do not think this could make up for the travesty you have to put yourself through to get to it.

3/10.

(An extended review also appeared on http://www.geekspeakmagazine.com).
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4/10
It started alright, then it went downhill...
Paul Magne Haakonsen14 November 2011
This movie started out so great, it had that whole "Jaws"-theme going on, and it really looked like it was going to be a movie that would pay homage to the classic "Jaws" movies, then it all came crashing down hard and went downhill.

"Shark Night" is without a doubt one of the stupidest story lines I have ever seen in a shark movie. The whole plot was just so far-fetched that it didn't even come off remotely plausible. That whole "oh-you-hurt-me-years-ago-and-now-it-is-payback-time" plot didn't work at all! It was ludicrous and it really made the movie bad.

Another thing that the movie had working against it was the darkness. Most of the movie was shot at night with little or no lighting at all, and you couldn't really see what was going on at times. That was so lame. When you sit down to watch movies you don't want to be kept in the dark and have little chance to see what's going on. Had they kept the movie in daylight it would have worked so much better.

As for the characters in the movie, well you hardly got to immerse yourself in any of the characters, aside from Sara (played by Sara Paxton) and to some extend Dennis (played by Chris Carmack). The rest of the characters were nothing more than bystanders with shallow stories to contribute to the plot.

The cast themselves were good, though. The people they had cast for the various roles actually did good jobs, and that was the main thing that "Shark Night" had working for it.

Having seen "Shark Night" now I feel very disappointed and cheated out of my time, because this movie was disappointing on so many levels. It is only once in awhile that there is a really nice shark movie to hit the market, "Shark Night" however, wasn't one of them.

And the ending of the movie, are you kidding me? Come on! I am not going to spoil it here by revealing it, but wow, that was an ending you saw coming a mile away, and it was just so anti-climatic.
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3/10
Not very good!
cdarbygrl13 September 2011
Warning: Spoilers
This movie was predictable and not worth $7.50! It never even showed the shark actually killing anyone! It showed blood and limbs, but no real action.

Piranha 3D was much better!! In this movie, you could always predict who the bad guy was and exactly what was going to happen next. They never really explained where the sharks came from....left some unanswered questions. Katherine McPhee from American Idol did a pretty good job, though! I didn't see it in 3D, but i honestly don't think it would be any better! I hope they don't make a sequel!! Save your money for the remake of The Thing coming out soon!
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Biggest disappointment of the year
thss852 September 2011
Warning: Spoilers
I never wrote a review until now, but "Shark Night 3D" inspired me to do so.

Let me tell you something, up until the third act, the film starts out pretty decent. Like "Piranha 3D", which it tries to be, it opens up with someone getting killed, then opens up to an upbeat tune. It starts out funny, with Sara Paxton, Dustin Milligan, Katherine McPhee (though I liked her better in "The House Bunny"), and Chris Zylka (soon to be seen in "The Amazing Spider-Man" as Flash Thompson) handing in charismatic performances.

The second act comes where the comedy takes a nosedive for the horror to come around. Aside from a nicely acted monologue from Paxton where her character recounts a life-affecting tragedy, director David R. Ellis (who you may remember also directed a similar tongue-in-cheek film, "Snakes on a Plane"), fumbles the ball when trying to jerk out tears. Especially when Malik (Sinqua Walls) explodes into a crying fit about losing his girlfriend (it's not the levels of Tyler Perry's soap opera casserole, but it doesn't register) before going out to fight a shark.

*SPOILER ALERT* But what drove the film right into the ground was the fact that the titular villains - the sharks - were almost background noise to the real villains: a redneck trio (Donal Logue, Joshua Leonard, and Chris Carmack) who use the sharks for their reality show. Believe it or not, this is an original idea, and it could've worked wonders. However, Ellis envisions the bloodthirsty madmen as... well, bloodthirsty madmen. It's done in such a borderline cartoonish way, making them over-the-top, mustache-twirling villains, and Ellis seems to take delight into pushing the envelope of their insane ways, even to a point where the main characters become background noise like the sharks. And hearing why one of the characters went into this profession is another clichéd revenge ploy. This concoction takes the joy away from the film, and it becomes bad torture porn.

***END SPOILER***
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Lack of fun, suspense.
bramb6002 September 2011
Warning: Spoilers
This movie stars Sara Paxton and Katherine McPhee among other unknown people. The stars are not important. What we have here is a PG-13 shark movie. Something that is so unnatural, I'm surprised that it even exists.

A group of unlikeable college kids go to a lake and get eaten by sharks released by crazy hillbillies. Everyone was unlikeable. Joel David Moore is probably the most likable. He's the most entertaining part of this movie.

Before I saw this movie I was wondering how they were going to pull off the death scenes with a PG-13 rating. As expected, there is a lot of thrashing around in the red coloured water before they are pulled down under. As long as they don't show the blood pouring it's okay. There was a scene when a guy lost his arm and except for the blood on his clothes, there was no bleeding to be seen. I wanted to see some gory shark kills. There was only one cool kill in the whole movie that would have been elevated if this was R- rated.

The 3D in the movie is really only good underwater. Everywhere else it's not used enough to be worth the extra price. Just don't see it in 3D.

This movie is completely predictable from start to finish. After 10 minutes, you learn who the primary characters are and you realize that they will be safe the entire movie. Everyone else except for those characters are fair game for shark attacks. And that's exactly what happens. So any suspense that they try to go for is completely useless. There is no suspense.

The filmmakers took this movie way too seriously. The way to make this movie is like Piranha 3D. Everything is ridiculous and over the top and Piranha 3D embraced that. Shark Night didn't have any fun with it's absurd qualities. Lack of fun is a big problem.

I don't really recommend Shark Night 3D.
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2/10
A Bad Combination of Jaws and Teen Slasher
rgkarim2 September 2011
Despite the sheer diversity in species that inhabit this world, Hollywood seems to have an obsession with making movies about hungry, killer sharks. Ever since Jaws debuted nearly 40 years ago, the flood gates for shark movies seemed to have been permanently forced open, allowing countless films to be made, most of which fail to come even close to Spielberg's classic. Today the latest shark disaster, Shark Night, hits the screens in all of its gore filled glory.

For those who haven't seen the overplayed trailer, Shark Night revolves around a group of Jersey Shore like teenagers taking a vacation out to an island mansion for a weekend getaway from their college studies. What starts out as a fun filled trip soon turns into chaos as Malik (Sinqua Walls) has a rough encounter with a bull shark. However this first attack is only a mild beginning as the sharks become more aggressive and fear begins to take its toll on the teenagers.

I'm going to come right out and say it, this movie is essentially Jaw meeting a teenage slasher film. Unlike Jaws, Shark night has traded plot for gore filled, teenager devouring, and CGI shark action. The acting of the victims is pretty weak for the most part, essentially focusing on incredibly shallow characters that have no morals and eventually evolved into hyperventilating chickens, with the exception of a few characters willing to tread the waters. Despite their best intentions, a majority of the scenes in this movie amounted to nothing more than a predictable sequence of chases, pointless swimming, and eventually scream filled death that is classic of a Scy-Fy original movie.

Although the plot had a little more character than what I had gotten from the trailers, it still wasn't enough to save the movie. One major weakness to the plot was how predictable the series of events was. From the moment we were introduced to the characters, I was able to predict who was going to die, and essentially how each one was going to meet their end, that is how each one was going to get eaten. You may be asking, "Well was the explanation for why the sharks were there in the first place good?" The answer to that question is no. In fact I believe the explanation to the sharks was one of the worst plot twists I have ever seen, more laughable than respectable. Again I wasn't expecting much of a plot, but to throw in such a twist was just pathetic to me.

Now there are some positive aspects to this movie, but I'll admit now that they are incredibly shallow positives. One positive is that the CGI work, albeit not the even close to being the greatest captures the shark movement quite well. The facts that the characters spout out about the sharks are also accurate as well and can teach the audience a few things about sharks, if they actually care. The soundtrack for this film had some catchy beats that are sure to please most modern audiences today, mainly fans of rap and hip-hop. Fans of blood will also be happy with this film as the bayou waters become stained in red by the various attacks. Finally, although the acting is weak, both male and female audience members will be happy with the eye candy most of the cast provides, as they parade around in their bikinis bathing suits. Yeah I told you these positives were pretty shallow.

To wrap this review up, Shark Night is a movie meant to kill time and provide some very cheap entertainment. Fans of constant shark attack violence will not be disappointed by this generic film, but those looking for a seemingly decent plot and suspense filled survival should avoid this film at all costs. Shark attack films may be getting old, but surely the modern movie industry can do better than this. Overall I give Shark Night, which should not be seen in 3D, a 2.0-2.5, and recommend waiting for it to come out on the Scy-Fy channel. As always provide me with some feedback and let me know your opinions and criticism for becoming a better writer.
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3/10
Shark Night 3D has no guts, figuratively and literally
scarletheels12 December 2011
Sara (Sara Paxton) and her college friends travel to her lake house on the Louisiana Gulf for a wild weekend of beer pong, sunbathing, and death by shark. Be mindful of the PG-13 rating because, if you go into this expecting the finned version of Aja's silicon laden Piranha 3D, you'll be sorely disappointed. The most you're going to get to feast your eyes on is a brief shot of Katharine McPhee's and Alyssa Diaz's side boobs.

It's light on the carnage and heavy on the sentimental and often over-dramatic monologues. The gore is pretty watered down for the teen/tween audience. This is neither a good thing nor a bad thing - it's a boring thing. While there are quite a few deaths, the attacks are short cut scenes that end with the camera lingering over pools of red coloring dye to signify, yep, they're dead.

What's missing from this humdinger is good ol' fashioned fun. Most of its ilk celebrate the B-movie campiness with richly funny dialog, revel in the opportunity to mock its genre, or totally go off the deep end with exaggerated kills and/or gratuitous nudity. I realize Shark Night 3D wasn't made to be an in-your-face exploitation film but it's not Open Water either. It falls to the wayside because it has no guts, literally and figuratively.
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6/10
Terrible but lightly entertaining
estebangonzalez107 November 2011
¨Terror runs deep¨

Shark Night is a terrible movie, I have to admit it, but somehow I ended up having a fun time with it. The performances are low key, the script borderlines in the ridiculous, and the story is really predictable, but in the mist of all the disaster I found myself having an enjoyable experience. Shark Night is a movie that takes its subject matter very lightly, it doesn't try to be a serious horror film, or even try to show a lot of gore or being scary. It's a movie that recognizes its limitations and plays along with it. What makes this bad movie stand out from the rest is that it ends up being bad in a good way, in other words it makes you laugh because it's so bad. The plot is so bad that it seems that director David R. Ellis decided to just play along with the audience and let us have a good time without having to make the film gory or extremely violent. He gives us a lot of sharks, a lot of kills, and if taken lightly like the producers want you to you might end up having a good time like I did. If you are expecting a scary movie with a lot of gore than I warn you stay away from Shark Night because it's just a light comedy with some bad acting and bad special effects. If you go into this movie expecting nothing else than that, just like I did, then you might end up having a decent time. One thing is for sure: screenwriters Will Hayes and Jesse Studenberg won't be winning any awards for their dumbed down script.

It's time to explain my least favorite part of the film: the plot. Shark Night takes place in a lake near the Louisiana Gulf coast (yes you read right, there are sharks in a lake and there is a perfectly good reason for that). A group of teenagers decide to go to Sara's (Sara Paxton) lake house to celebrate Malik's (Sinqua Walls) recent success in an exam that will allow him to enter college. His friends Nick (Dustin Milligan) and Gordon (Joel David Morse) were the ones who helped him study so in order to thank them he brings them along although they aren't part of the cool group. At the house Malik plans to propose to his girlfriend Maya (Alyssa Diaz). Beth (Katharine McPhee) and Blake (Chris Zylka) also decide to go along with the rest of the gang and have some fun at the lake. Before arriving to the house however they have a small quarrel with a pair of local hillbillies Red (Joshua Leonard) and Dennis (Chris Carmack) with whom Sara is acquainted with, but everything goes on as normal. At the lake they meet the Sheriff, Sabin (Donal Logue), who greets them warmly and even has a couple of drinks with them. The kids are ready to have a great time and begin enjoying the lake, but what they don't know is that the lake is infested with sharks. What begins as innocent fun, ends up being a nightmare for Sara and her friends.

The actors are all relatively unknown and there is a good reason for that (they aren't exactly great actors), but you can't have a shark film without hot young teens. The movie really works better as a comedy than as a horror film because the plot is just ridiculous, but I did have a fun time with how the shark attacks were exaggerated. There was one scene were a shark jumps several feet over the water and eats one of the kids that is riding a motorbike. These sharks were just so exaggerated that you couldn't help but laugh at the silliness of each scene. There are several more death scenes like this which are hugely exaggerated and I found quite funny. There is no gore because Shark Attack had a PG-13 rating so don't expect much of the death scenes from the Final Destination producers. I haven't seen the Piranhas film so I can't make comparisons with it, but I heard this is nothing like the gore that film had, so if you want a stronger film or expect something like Piranhas then skip this film because you will be disappointed. Shark Night has nothing memorable to it, but I did have a surprisingly good time with it so I got to give it a passing grade, although the lowest possible one.

http://estebueno10.blogspot.com/
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Not too bad IF you enjoy these types of films
ZombieSteak .com6 September 2011
I went into this movie thinking I was going to be bored to death. The only reason why we saw this was because it was a holiday, hardly anything was open and we were going stir crazy at home. I've said this before and I will say this again… I love my gore, I love my violence and I love my crazy horror movies. Once you put a PG rating on something I instantly loose my interest.

After all that being said it turned out that I really enjoyed this movie. Of course I should have known this. For one I LOVE shark movies, I love teen screams, I love those goofy Sci-Fi channel horror movies with the cheese graphics. My Fiancée on the other hand did not like this movie but he never did like these sort of teeny bop things.

This movie is extremely teeny boppy, the lingo, the acting, the drama. The characters are the same hollow but hot bunch of college kids we see in all of these types of movies. So I wouldn't go in expecting anything deep from the characters or script. There was a lot of blood but it was mostly just someone being pulled under the water and buckets of blood being shown floating around them. You never actually see any gore or any attack close up.

The sharks for the most part were silly. I thought it was cool but it was very unrealistic which sort of killed it for me as well. We kept thinking the storyline would explain why these sharks were super ninja sharks. They were ridiculously fast, jumped way too high and there teeth were almost like metal'ish spikes. Apparently it was only part of the movie as they never explain anything as to why they were super sharks.

This movie was not bad IF you like this sort of thing. It wasn't particularly funny, or deep, the graphics sucked, it was rated PG… but if like me you love the things I listed in the second paragraph, you may enjoy this.

Zombiesteak.com - Discover a new world of horror films, designed just for you.
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4/10
It seems like the only folks who can still produce good monster flicks are the Japanese.
TheUnknown837-17 September 2011
About this time last year, I saw a movie called "Piranha." It was a loose remake of a 1978 cult favorite produced by Roger Corman; the sort of cheesy B-movie that was so laughably bad that it ascended to being good fun. That was, of course, the original film, not the remake, which made it onto my list of the worst movies of 2010. Now, exactly one year later, my hopes for seeing a good creature-feature on the silver screen have once again been crushed by what was, essentially, the exact same picture I saw last fall. The only difference is, now the obnoxious, hard-to-endure stick-figure characters are being munched on by big fake CGI sharks instead of big fake CGI piranhas.

But it's really the same scenario. Some brainless young adults are frolicking about on a big, freshwater lake when all of a sudden, people are being tossed about and pulled under by unseen attackers. About thirty minutes in, it's revealed (as if we didn't already know) that the lake has been infested by sharks. And not just great whites, either. No, there are hammerheads, tiger sharks, bulls, and even cookie-cutters. How are all of these oceanic species ending up in a freshwater lake? Well, the movie gives an explanation, but it's one of the most outrageously bad plot twists in recent years. And remember, I'm an aficionado on the junk monster movies that pop up on the SyFy Channel every weekend. Now, I do not go to a monster movie looking for great character study or plot logistics. I go there looking for good old-fashioned, escapist fun. Only when a B-movie becomes so incredibly empty and devoid of joy do I start nitpicking on things I might otherwise overlook until after the credits have rolled. But the writing and directing of "Shark Night" (which by the way, mostly takes place under a bright sunny sky) is so bland, so unenthusiastic, so absent-minded that it left me looking at my watch after about twenty minutes. After the first attack sequence, which starts with a predictable twist and then becomes a practical shot-for-shot knock-off from the all-more-effective opening scene in "Jaws," the only thing that ran through my mind was wondering how long it would be before Steven Spielberg and Universal decided to pitch out a lawsuit for copyright infringement.

The whole movie looks and feels very much like it was made directly for a television release, giving it a sort of schizophrenic, out-of-place feeling. The fact that the performances are beneath comment does not help any, since they are on screen far more often than the cartoony, computer-generated sharks who can twist their necks as flexibly as a human arm and snarl like lions. In addition, there is the other big problem that I also had with "Piranha": dopey exploitation. The movie's far more interested in ogling at the hindquarters and torsos of partially-naked models-turned-'actors' than it is in developing plausible attack scenarios or engaging the audience in the way only a good B-movie can.

Well, at least there weren't any underwater lesbian scenes this time. No chewed up, sex organs either. Thank heaven.

If the writers had realized that they were making a movie for the big screen and not for television, "Shark Night" might have proved to be a solid, lighthearted matinée. Instead, it fails to recognize what it ought to have been and pretends to be a grade-A exploitation flick, falling flat from the beginning. In regards to its 3D: it's thoroughly unimpressive. Granted, I am not the biggest fan of 3D; I think it's a cheap, unengaging gimmick. But half the time, you wouldn't know this were a 3D movie if it weren't for the bulky glasses sitting on your nose. It's still murky and nothing jumps out from the screen except for a few pieces from a motorboat and some seaweeds. Not scary, not entertaining, not even remotely interesting, "Shark Night" was one of the more unhappy times I've had at the movies.

It seems like the only folks who can still produce good monster flicks are the Japanese. Their contemporary rubber monsters smashing miniature Tokyos and Osakas are far more interesting than any monster mayhem I've seen on the big screen in a long while.
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1/10
They used to use the term 'straight to DVD' to describe bad movies, now it's 'straight to 3D'.
Ibsen328 November 2011
Warning: Spoilers
WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS (THOUGH NOTHING CAN SPOIL THIS FILM MORE THAN ITS ARTLESS EXISTENCE IN THE FIRST PLACE)

Quite possibly the worst film I have ever watched in my 35 years of life, Shark Night 3D beats such classics as Demi Moore's 'Striptease' (barring the one scene that made that bearable, of course). The word derivative does not begin to describe it. The dialogue, plot, acting, effects and general direction is some of the most abysmal I have seen to the point that it seems as if various people involved with the film are competing to do the worst job imaginable. Unlike some reviewers, I don't even think it starts well. It's preposterous from the outset, dribbles through numerous lines of drivel and ends like a wet fart.

I found myself counting how many times something completely unlikely or discontinuous happened but lost count. Some of these lowlights include such things as sharks flying out of the water, sharks swimming just as fast as jet-skis, some bizarrely contrived plot involving a scorned love affair from years ago, the idea that people would pay some hillbillies to watch sharks eat people live on camera in a lake and a truly beyond-hilarious scene in which a one-armed man (whose limb has only just been bitten off in a previous scene) wades out waist-deep into a lake to goad a shark with a cattle-prod: a scene that would have been met with derisory parody way back in the 30s/40s when Tarzan was still wrestling with rubber crocodiles.

In my own humble opinion, however, it is the dialogue-writer who wins the award as it so accurately mirrors the pattern of writing that a slightly autistic 8-year-old boy who has just seen Jaws and some other horror b-movies might adopt. Congratulations to that person!

You would think that the 3D effects might save it as one of those 'so bad it's good and at least we get some comedy deaths and a bit of eye popping horror', right? Wrong. Besides random flying sharks, we get a moment in which mini-sharks eat a woman to death and some of them come at us quickly whilst they do so. This lacks any even mild shock or surprise value nor anything convincing, realistic-looking or genuinely horrific considering how predictable every step of the film is.

Seriously, Shark Night 3D may be rated a '15' but I think the intelligence of your average 15-year-old will be very, very insulted. I only watched this because, as a fan of horror, I wanted to know how bad horror films could be in this day and age. Now I know. They used to use the term 'straight to DVD' to describe bad movies, now it's 'straight to 3D'.

If anyone rates this film highly, it would be a good idea to go check out any other good reviews of theirs as a general guideline for what- not-to-watch.
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1/10
Deep Blue Sea Meets Last House on the Left
trnjamesbond27 April 2012
Warning: Spoilers
Well, in my title for this review I mentioned Deep Blue Sea and Last House on the Left.

As far as I'm concerned this film should of never been made, well it's here and apparently by the ratings on this site it's considered garbage. How could this piece of trash get sent to the theatre, good advertising I'd say.

First of all we start out with the boring usual cocky college kids with the world in the palm if their hands, then we move onto the usual band of country bumpkins that never got over their first crush. This film is telling me that the only reason for this band of misfits and letting sharks into the salt water lake is because of a girl from years ago that he couldn't have sex with? Ney Ney I say to that. Stupid upon stupid. Then we have the so called "Sheriff", blending in with the teenagers that decide to go for a summer getaway at the rich girls house on an island. Well, you'd think the writers would learn this fancy dancy crap doesn't work. It didn't work in Friday the 13th remake, and it doesn't work here. Showing off your richness is so boring, and undermining. Making us all think we have to be rich, is a failure to cinema in itself.

Then we move onto the "Black Guy" who gets his arm bit off. How unintelligent is this? Why are they always stereotyping black people in horror, a bit racist. I'm not even black and I find this racist. How annoying. Then we catch scenes from of Lilly pads growing in the water. Talk about a bad location scout. Lilly pads don't grow in salt water.

Are we just all stupid idiots for watching this crap? Or is it that we are more intelligent in realizing that Hollywood Execs are playing us like we are zombies and have no brains? I agree with the later half.

To sum it all up. There is no reason for these sharks to be were they are, second why do all this shark re-locating? Just to be a sick twisted freak waiting for his first crush to come back? Also if there were that many sharks in the water wouldn't other people have noticed by now, and contacted wild game authorities? Surely somebody must have contacted the authorities after knowing that hundreds of sharks are in their waters. At the beginning of the film we see a girl being attacked, supposedly not noticed. But from the explanation by the local hicks they have been letting "46" species of sharks in the lake. This doesn't add up, if there were that many sharks somebody would have noticed by now considering how fully grown the sharks were. Once again bad writing, I think, I, along with everybody reading this review could come up with a better script. We are much smarter than these hack horror writers. I wouldn't even call them writers, my 8 year old kid could write a better story.

Well I could go on forever of what is wrong with this story, but in the end, to my logic, the actors/actresses were very good, film direction was decent, but the story lacked explanation. At least Deep Blue Sea and Last House on the Left, had meaning and explanation. This film is all over the place.

If I could give it a zero out of ten I would. A waste of my time.
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8/10
Its a shame they went the PG-13 route for sure :(
Brian Bell2 September 2011
Warning: Spoilers
I saw the opening midnight show last night. At that point there were 2 reviews, both saying how great and gory/bloody it was. That's the films biggest problem, the LACK of gore! I wasn't going to see this film for a great story- I went to see sharks attacking and eating people. All you ever see is someone getting pulled under the water and then some blood (usually very little!) surface, there are no shark attacks on camera. Its a shame because the cast was all good for what it was. It was cheesy and fun, but with each attack (meaning one less kill left of the not to large group) i was disappointed because you Don't SEE AN ATTACK! It's entertaining enough, with a fun cast, but know going into this film that you aren't getting ANY gore, and not too much actual "shark time" on screen. If that's okay with you, then you will enjoy it :) Otherwise wait for the inevitable unrated blu ray.

If you do go- STAY UNTIL THE END OF THE CREDITS!!! If you don't already know whats coming, get ready to laugh and like the cast a little bit more :)

PS The 3D was excellent, especially the underwater shots...
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4/10
Silly and Absurd Jaws Rip-off
Claudio Carvalho15 June 2012
The college friends Nick (Dustin Milligan), Beth (Katharine McPhee), Malik (Sinqua Walls), Maya (Alyssa Diaz), Blake (Chris Zylka) and Gordon (Joel David Moore) are invited by their friend Sara Palski (Sara Paxton) to spend the weekend at her saltwater lake house in Louisiana. They stop at a bar to buy supplies and Malik has a friction with the rednecks Red (Joshua Leonard) and Dennis Crim (Chris Carmack), but Sara resolves the situation since Dennis is her ex-boyfriend. Then the group meets another friend of Sara, Sheriff Greg Sabin (Donal Logue).

When Malik is skiing in the lake, he has a severed arm by a shark and his friends seek for help. But sooner they learn that the lake is infested of different species of sharks and they have a more dangerous problem threatening them.

"Shark Night 3D" is a silly and absurd rip-off "Jaws" with the storyline that recalls "Texas Chainsaw Massacre", with a group of youngsters that travels to the countryside and are slaughtered by sharks. They are actually victims of a gang of psychopaths that make money in a website with snuff movies showing the sharks attacking and killing people. Chris Carmack is scary with his psychotic behavior but the film is dull, ridiculous and the special effects are very poor. But maybe the greatest problem is that "Shark Night 3D" is a B-movie with the pretension of being a serious movie. My vote is four.

Title (Brazil): "Terror na Água 3D" ("Terror in the Water 3D")
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2/10
More like Shark Dumb 3D!
TheLittleSongbird15 October 2011
I know that sounds harsh, but although the trailer made Shark Night 3D made it look like another SyFy movie I wanted to see what it was like, as I like films like these when they are done right. However, Shark Night 3D was just a mess.

There are only two good things for me. The underwater sequences do look stunning. Also, the lead Sara Paxton is good, the only actress who connects with her character and the only engaging character.

Everything else? What can I say? The cinematography and editing were good in the underwater sequences, but haphazard in the attacks. The sharks really looked terribly clunky, and there is no suspense or realism here or in the build ups.

Shark Night 3D isn't much fun either. The dialogue is cheesy in an eye rolling sense and the story is the personification of dumb especially in the final third where the film completely falls apart in its credibility and did I mention how contrived it was. The characters are stereotypical and I didn't care for any of them by the end, the direction is unfocused pretty much throughout and the acting apart from Paxton was either overplayed or bland.

In conclusion, dumb, contrived, badly acted, cheesy, stereotypical, with badly done sharks and a complete suspense lack of suspense and fun. Paxton and the underwater sequences are its only worthwhile assets. 2/10 Bethany Cox
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1/10
Don't bite this Shark Bait
lovecraft2313 April 2012
Warning: Spoilers
I tend to not review movies when they are in theaters. I think it's better to do so when said movie is on DVD-I dunno why, I just do. So when I saw "Shark Night" in 2011, I knew it would be bad-so bad it ended up in my "worst of the year list", but until now, I've held out on reviewing it. So now that said movie is now available on the home market, let's get this show on the road.

Sara Palski (the adorable Sara Paxton) and her pals Malik (Sinqua Walls), Gordon (Joel David Moore), Beth (former "American Idol" contestant Katherine McPhee), Nick (Dustin Mulligan) Blake (Chris Zykla) and Maya (Alyssa Diaz) go on vacation at a lake house in Louisiana. In the process, then run into redneck goons Dennis (Chris Carmack) and Red ("Blair Witch Project" actor Joshua Leonard, whose found a fine second life in the world of indie and art house movies) and seemingly nice sheriff Greg Sabin (Donal Logue.) The big danger however, is that the fresh water lake has sharks-and that the rednecks might have something to do with them being there.

It's weird to see that David R. Ellis directed this. Here is a man who previously directed "Snakes on a Plane", "Final Destination 2" and the fourth one. Here's a guy who knows how to take a potentially fun concept and run with it (well, not with "The Final Destination", but beggars can't be choosers.) Here however, the movie plays the whole concept straight, with little in the way of personality, humor or thrills. It's a shark movie without any life-one that's so lame, even the folks at The Asylum would raise their noses at it. The whole thing is directed lifelessly, with no potential fun on display. The movie instead goes with one of the biggest cardinal sins in horror-it plays it safe.

Granted, part of that could probably be blamed on the PG-13 rating. It's obvious that the movie is trying to ride the coattails of movies like "Piranha 3D." When you see a movie called "Shark Night", you immediately expect coeds being munched on, female nudity and tons of gore. With a PG-13 rating, it loses much of the impact it could have. Another advantage something like "Piranha" has over this is the fact that it was aware of it's own ridiculousness, and fully embraced it. This is a movie that has potential to be a commentary on reality television with its "Rednecks use sharks to make a bloody web show" sub-plot, but instead it just becomes a morass of bad stereotypes and tiresome torture-horror tropes.

Even more offensive is that much of the cast is actually made up of good actors. I've seen shows and movies where Leonard, Paxton, Moore and Logue (who starred in the sadly short lived FX series "Terriers") have delivered good to great performances. Seeing them in this is just depressing. I know they are better than this, and yes, I'm aware that a job is a job at the end of the day and that actors have to make cash. But it's sad to see the wasted in crap like this.

There is no reason whatsoever to watch "Shark Night", as it has plenty of sharks and no sense of fun. Besides, if you are going to make PG-13 movie with sharks, make it about about a superhero shark, and call it "The Shark Knight."
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Yes, of course. Ultra-realistic. Not.
Neil Welch7 October 2011
Warning: Spoilers
Seven students go to spend a holiday on the luxury holiday home of one of the girls: it sits on its own island in the Florida everglades. And they are having a lovely time when the first shark attack comes.

This film is essentially someone stalking the dorm wiping out students one by one, except it is sharks not slashers, and the students are all in their bathers. There is a completely preposterous plot development halfway through, then another even more preposterous plot development building on the first one, and an utterly idiotic final shot. The cast are all unknown and, regrettably, this movie is unlikely to change that for any of them. Much of the shark antics are ripped bodily from Jaws. This is the sort of movie which used to be made for the direct-to-video market, pumped up by 3D.

On the plus side, it is pretty to look at with attractive scenery, the girls look nice in bikinis, there are six-packs on view for the ladies, the 3D is sometimes effective, and CGI sharks have come on a long way. And there is a shot halfway through featuring a shark and a jetski which made me laugh out loud (it wasn't meant to, I don't think).
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Irresponsible filmmaking at it's most horrific
info-121385 September 2011
This movie is just as irresponsible as the horrible "torture porn" seen in recent years. In this movie, we are still subjected to the most malevolent of human behavior, but they use sharks instead of saws, cages and bondage. And make damn sure we mutilate young adults while they are barely dressed so we can become aroused by the beauty of the human body and then become horrified at the dismemberment. It never ceases to amaze me what incredibly horrific visions today's young filmmakers can dream up. Even more pathetic, someone is paying them to do it. When the audience finally says "no I won't watch this tasteless, senseless waste of talent and money," perhaps they will stop making it.

Not likely, unfortunately.
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6/10
Greatly underrated
BOOGIEMAN-pN24 December 2011
WoW ! Looking at all those terrible reviews makes me wonder did we watch the same movie ? I mean, WHAT ELSE DID YOU EXPECT from a 'Snakes on a Plane' director ?!?! THIS is a good TRASH movie, 100 times better than "Machete", "Hobo with a shotgun" and similar (soft) horror flicks ... I guess the problem must be that it isn't 100% OBVIOUSLY stated that this is a TRASH MOVIE, like in afore mentioned two, so today's Average Joe's in audience couldn't figure it out by themselves. That's why I use UPPERCASE LETTERS, because most of you Joe Schmoe's doesn't even read whole reviews.

I say, this movie is at least better than the average of it's genre. Classic example of "expedition gone wrong" horror storyline. Small group of friends on isolated island, getting dispatched one by one. There's even a twist in the plot. If only camera and editing were more dynamic, let's say for example, like in "My Super Psycho Sweet 16: Part 2", this movie could've been even awesome.
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Munch-Ado-About-Gnaw-Thing!
zardoz-135 September 2011
Warning: Spoilers
"Shark Night 3-D" bites! Unfortunately, "Snakes on a Plane" director David R. Ellis plays everything straight in "Shark Night 3-D." Meaning, you had better prepare yourself for clichés galore without a smirk in sight. This derivative, PG-13 rated, 91-minute, yarn concerns three stereotypical, mean-spirited rednecks who drool at the chance to feed stuck-up college kids to ravenous sharks of all sizes. Of course, most of the ocean's deadly predators prefer to prowl the briny blue, but these three rednecks have an illegal device that enables them to paralyze these predators, attach mini-cams, relocate them to a Louisiana salt-lake, and then wait for them to start chomping. Furthermore, they plan to make big bucks by selling their shark snuff videos to die-hard "Shark Week" addicts after the real thing. Think of "Shark Night 3-D" as "Jaws" trying to meet "8MM." Everybody sports serious expressions because everything is serious. Nevertheless, everybody behaves like idiots, too. A one-armed college jock with a spear wades into a shark-infested lake with revenge in his heart. Hammerheads, threshers, cookie cutters and bull sharks assemble to make munch-meat of him. Sadly, not only are these sharks either digitally concocted or animatronic, but they also act like SyFy Channel sharks. SyFy Channel made-for-cable movies usually boast sharks that move so quickly they resemble cartoon sharks. The synthetic "Shark Night 3-D" sharks swim with such speed that our heroes, when the latter have either a boat with an outboard motor or water bike at their disposal, cannot leave them in their wake! An academically challenged Tulane University athlete, Malik (Sinqa Walls of "Choose Connor"), makes a B+ on a test and no longer worries about flunking out of college. An ecstatic Malik rewards his dutiful tutor, Nick (Dustin Milligan of "Final Destination 3"), along with Nick's nerdy roommate Gordon (Joel David Moore of "Avatar") to join his friends for a good time at a remote lakeside estate. Sara (Sara Paxton of "Superhero Movie") has wealthy parents who own a beautiful cottage secluded on an island which is surrounded by a sprawling salt-water lake. Naturally, nobody with a cell phone can raise a signal at Lake Crosby. Furthermore, the nearest hospital lies about two hours away. Little do our recreationally minded heroes know the ill-fate which awaits them. Meantime, Malik tries to play Cupid and get Nick and Sara together. As Malik tells Nick, Sara has not been on a date in three years. Later we learn why. Anyway, Nick and Sara grow chummy and Nick winds up steering Sara's launch. While Nick is playing admiral, he has show-off Malik at the end of a tether skiing around the lake on a board. Malik impresses everybody with his incredible gymnastic feats. He loves to perform flips. Suddenly, Malik feels something ram his board, and he takes a tumble. A shark attacks Malik and tears off his right arm at the bicep. Our heroes bandage Malik and rush him to the hospital. Malik's blood drips into the lake and another shark slams into the launch so that Malik's soon-to-be wife, Maya (Alyssa Diaz of TV's "Southland"), topples into the water and gets gobbled up. Later, Malik traipses into the lake with nothing more than his rage and a spear. He kills a hammerhead shark and dies. The two rednecks, Sara's ex-boyfriend, scar-faced Dennis (Chris Carmack of "Into the Blue 2: The Reef), and his tattooed sidekick, Red (Joshua Leonard of "Hatchet"), offer to help Sara and her friends. Beth is so sickened by the tragic turn of events that she wants to ride with Dennis and Red back to the mainland. Gordon refuses to let Beth travel alone with them. Neither realizes the mistake that both make when they set foot on the redneck's boat. Before it is all over with heroic Nick has to tangle with murderous Dennis and a shark.

Basically, "Shark Night 3-D" amounts to a complicated but predictable revenge thriller with nothing to recommend it. Freshmen scenarists Will Hayes and Jesse Studenberg neither do Ellis nor the audience any favors with their shallow screenplay that borrows extensively from other shark movies. Their dialogue is utterly flat without any flair. The characters emerge as one-dimensional nitwits waiting for their moment to be eaten. Ellis does deserve some credit for keeping the action moving at a brisk headlong pace. Nevertheless, he fails to generate any sympathy for our clueless heroes. The villains could be cousins of the rednecks in "Deliverance." All of the ersatz shark attacks have been lensed before with greater realism in better movies. The 3-D technology delivers in only two scenes. The first involves an exploding boat hurling shrapnel, while the second shows a shark as its gory innards are blasted out of it. Considering the $28-million budget, you'd think they could have made more than one shark appear convincing. A bull shark does look supremely menacing in a scene straight out of the James Bond feature "License to Kill," but the rest look simulated and swim like torpedoes. Two sharks literally defy gravity by leaping out of the lake to chomp. A first girl caught alone in the lake is straight out of the original "Jaws" as well as the attack on a hapless skier is straight out of the "Jaws 2." If you want to watch a good shark thriller, and you cannot find "Jaws," then you might try "Deep Blue Sea" (1999), or the straight-to-video, outlandish "Shark Attack 3: Megalodon" (2002) and "Shark Swarm" (2008). The PG-13 rating rules out any chance of nudity, and the ability of sharks that can race through the water after speedboats eliminates any sense of credibility. Ellis generates a modicum of suspense when swimmers struggle to out-swim the sharks, but not enough to scare the daylights out of you.

"Shark Night 3-D" is munch-ado-about-gnaw-thing!
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7/10
Not that bad
kennyggavin11 June 2013
Warning: Spoilers
**Spoiler Alert**

There I was, standing in front of RedBox trying to figure out what to rent with my "free rental code" and after the anxiety had slipped away I landed on Shark Night. Now I was very unsure how to accept or prepare for this movie after reading other reviews on this movie, And I will tell you this..... If you are looking for some just plain old movie fun then this is your movie. Shark Night was actually filmed quite well, had good acting, and there was a story involved too. Sure it was silly and dumb and some scenes did not really make sense, like how smart and amazingly aggressive the sharks were, but man this movie was fun!!!

Its about 7 college friends that go for a weekend of fun at a friends lake house for vacation. After some crazy in-water occurrences happen, they realize that there are a lot of different species of sharks in the water. I will not spoil the movie too much for you but after a dude gets his arm ripped off and people start to die then things start to take a twist.

Basically if you like to watch good cinematography, little bit of blood and gore, action, and scenes that don't really add up but are still entertaining to watch then I suggest this movie.

RATING 7 out of 10
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1/10
Bad
The Movie troll .7 June 2012
Don't watch this film it is nothing more than a predictable teen slash movie. Bad acting, bad story (with no actual reasoning) and just simply ridiculous plot. I for one think that since the iconic jaws films were released, too many people have tried to replicate the success of said films. The problem is that these shark films try to be something they aren't. How this film passes as a horror I'll never know, not once was I startled, jumped or scared. The posters built expectations which could not be met. I wanted this film to end long before it did and, in general was a mix of both happy and frustrated to see the credits. Happy because this lame film was over and frustrated because I then realised that watching this film was an utter waste of time. It's not very often that you watch a shark film and wish for less action and more development but, that's what happened with this film. Overall to put it simply, I spent more time gazing off into the distance than I spent watching the screen on the edge of my seat.
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