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"The Simpsons" The Fight Before Christmas (TV Episode 2010) Poster

Quotes

Moe Szyslak: [Jumping to try to kiss Katy Perry] I guess I'll just have to kiss your belly button.

[Kisses her midsection]

Katy Perry: That's not my belly button. I didn't say stop.

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Marge Simpson: This tree reminds me of your father. It's round in the middle, thinning on top, and your hands are sticky when you touch it.

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Martha Claus: You boys want to play soldier?

Bart Simpson: I can't think of a better way to celebrate Jesus' birthday.

[Martha puts poker stands on Bart's and Milhouse's heads, then wraps red tape around their bodies]

Milhouse Van Houten: I don't think I like where this is going.

Martha Claus: [Wraps tape over Milhouse's and Bart's mouths] I don't think anyone asked your opinion.

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Homer Simpson: Mr. Burns! What are you doing here?

Mr. Burns: I got a visit from three Christmas spirits.

Abe Simpson: [on a balcony with Jasper] I wish this show got a visit from three new writers.

[He and Jasper laugh]

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Abe Simpson: Well, it looks like this'll finally kill it.

Jasper: The Simpsons?

Abe Simpson: No, Christmas.

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Homer Simpson: Hey, I thought you didn't want a Christmas tree.

Lisa Simpson: I didn't at first, but this tree is to remind us of mom. It serves as a reminder that someday this war will be over.

Homer Simpson: And someday TV will be invented, and it will be free, at first.

Lisa Simpson: Until then, this tree will stand for mom and everything she stands for: hope, family, and sweeping up dried needles.

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Mr. Burns: You lied to me. Release the hounds.

[Dogs bark at a distance]

Mr. Burns: They'll be here any minute now.

[a sock puppet dog appears]

Sock Puppet Dog: We, uh, spent all the money on Katy Perry.

Katy Perry: Aw, looks like someone needs a hug.

[Hugs and kisses Mr. Burns]

Mr. Burns: I kissed a girl, and I liked it.

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Bart Simpson: Isn't this the busy season? Where are the other elves?

Milhouse Van Houten: Laid off.

Nelson Muntz: Ever since NAFTA, all the jobs have been going to the South Pole.

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Agnes Skinner: How come you're not off fighting like a real man?

Homer Simpson: I'm too fat to fit in a foxhole.

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Homer Simpson: Don't worry. I'm sure if something happened to your mother, they would have told us.

Pimple-faced Teen: Telegram!

Homer Simpson: D'oh!

[reads telegram]

Homer Simpson: "Marge Simpson is now MIA"? Oh, no! She changed her name to Mia!

Pimple-faced Teen: No, that means she's missing in action.

[Homer cries]

Lisa Simpson: See? Everytime we get a tree, something bad happens.

[runs away]

Homer Simpson: I wish it were me instead of her!

Pimple-faced Teen: There's still time. The recruitment office is right...

Homer Simpson: Shut up.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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