Marge Simpson: [watching Lisa practice fencing to get into Harvard] Sweetie, you could still go to McGill, the Harvard of Canada.
Lisa Simpson: Anything that's the "something" of the "something" isn't really the "anything" of "anything".
Lisa Simpson: Bottom line: I need an extracurricular activity, and no one else will coach you loveable losers.
Bart Simpson: We're not losers! Last year we finished six and five.
Nelson Muntz: And we're not loveable. We had a tall freckle-faced kid on the team that we picked on 'til he quit.
[to tall, freckled kid walking down the street]
Nelson Muntz: Hey, Splatterface! How's the weather up there?
[Kid leaves downhearted]
Nelson Muntz: It's too bad, 'cause he's a great hitter, but it's worth it.
Nelson Muntz: Hey, get a room, you two.
Lisa Simpson: We're brother and sister.
Milhouse Van Houten: So are my parents, I think.
Professor Frink: Baseball is a game played by the dextrous, but only understood by the pointdexterous.
Lisa Simpson: I was wondering if you and your friends could tell me about baseball strategy.
Moe Szyslak: The only thing I know about strategy is that everything the manager does is crap. Unless it works, in which case he's a button pusher.
Lenny: I hate people who just push buttons all day.
Carl: You just push buttons all day.
Lenny: You know, ever since Obama came in, you have all the answers, don't you?
Bart Simpson: [Taking off his uniform] Here's my uniform, since I won't be needing it anymore.
Homer Simpson: Woo-hoo! Underpants dinner!
[Starts taking off shirt]
Marge Simpson: No, it's not!
Marge Simpson: [Dejected] Oh.
Lisa Simpson: I need another player. Ralph is too juiced.
Ralph Wiggum: [surrounded by juice boxes] I didn't know what I was putting into my body.
Marge Simpson: Baseball manager Mike Scioscia! Didn't you get radiation poisoning working at the nuclear plant?
Mike Scioscia: I sure did, but it also gave me super-managerial powers. Also, I demagnetize credit cards.
Lisa Simpson: Managers manage, and players play.
Ralph Wiggum: Do alligators alligate?
Lisa Simpson: I don't know! Yes!
Ralph Wiggum: I'm scared!
Baseball Announcer: And now on to my off season job, household robber. I'll be seeing you, but you won't see me until it's too late.
Nelson Muntz: What's a babe like her doing with a brown banana like Skinner?
Bart Simpson: Maybe she's one of those sexy school supply company reps.
Milhouse Van Houten: If that is true, then where's her suitcase with wheels, Bart? Where's her suitcase with wheels?
Nelson Muntz: She can do the kind of math that has letters. Watch. What's X, Lisa?
Lisa Simpson: Well, that depends...
Nelson Muntz: Sorry. She did it yesterday.
Homer Simpson: [answering front door] Hello, Flanders. Don't you have a neighbor on the other side?
Ned Flanders: Indeedily-doodily I do, and I love him just as much as you. It's a Flanders sandwich with great neighbor bread!
Homer Simpson: [groans]
Marge Simpson: Why do you say such ridiculous things?
Homer Simpson: They sound good in my brain, then my tongue makes not the words sound very good, formally.