Edit
"The Simpsons" Homer Scissorhands (TV Episode 2011) Poster

(TV Series)

(2011)

Quotes

Hans Moleman: [Lisa catches him and Lunchlady Doris at Holding Hands Point] We're just trying to rekindle our relationship.

Lunchlady Doris: In the sack, he's Salsbury steak. Everywhere else, creamed corn.

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Selma Bouvier: I'd never thought I'd say this, but Homer Simpson, do me!

[Homer puts the shears to his throat]

Selma Bouvier: I meant my hair.

[Homer sighs in relief]

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Marge Simpson: Well, Newsweek says it's good to change careers, right after they laid off all their editors.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Lisa Simpson: Why would a popular fifth grader like Taffy be interested in a Milhouse like Milhouse?

Bart Simpson: I dunno. It's one of those mysteries like: How do my clothes get clean and put back in my drawers?

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Milhouse Van Houten: Lisa, I love you. Is that love requited or un?

Lisa Simpson: I'm sorry, Milhouse, but I don't love you and I never will.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Patty Bouvier: Who undid my do?

Ned Flanders: I didn't do didley, and certainly not squat.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Homer Simpson: One hundred dollars? Marge, how much is that in smackeroos?

Marge Simpson: A hundred.

Homer Simpson: Woo hoo!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Lisa Simpson: I don't get it. Why would a popular fifth grader like Taffy be into a Milhouse like Milhouse?

Bart Simpson: I dunno. It's just one of those mysteries, I guess. Like how do my clothes pick themselves up from the floor and fold themselves into my drawers.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Homer Simpson: Like Mozart and Johnny Knoxville, my genius cannot be stopped.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Marge Simpson: Oh, Homer, you make my toes curl. You really know how to please a woman.

Homer Simpson: As long as I don't have to lose weight or change my pants.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Marge Simpson: Homer, thanks to your unlicensed barbery, Patty and Selma have been getting compliments all day at the DMV.

Abraham Simpson: You two look good. Open-casket good!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Homer Simpson: [Gasp] A hundred dollars! Marge, how much is that in smackeroos?

Marge Simpson: A hundred.

Homer Simpson: Woo hoo!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Lindsay Naegle: I hear this is the home of Springfield's hottest hairdresser. I need a haircut, and I need it in 3-2-1 now!

Homer Simpson: Lady, I'm not a hairdresser, I just put a new lid on a couple of trash cans.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Marge Simpson: Homie, you sure know how to please a woman.

Homer Simpson: As long as it doesn't involve losing weight or changing my pants.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Bart Simpson: [Jumps in front of Lisa as she paints] Ha-ha! I ruined your painting!

Lisa Simpson: Bart, this isn't a photograph. I'm not going to paint you just because...

[Sees that she has painted in Bart]

Lisa Simpson: Augh! You just ruined six months work!

Bart Simpson: Gee, I'm really sorry... it wasn't a year!

Lisa Simpson: You're going to regret the day you were born!

Bart Simpson: I already do. It's too close to Christmas.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Selma Bouvier: You did this? With your fat fingers and brain the size of a superball?

[Cut to cross-section of Homer's head, showing brain bouncing around until it comes out his ear and bounces away]

Homer Simpson: And stay out!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Taffy: I love your poem. It was romantic, and it rhymed.

Milhouse Van Houten: Well, I used a rhyming dictionary, but it only gives you options. The job of the poet is to say, "this one, I guess."

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Homer Simpson: All day long it's boring, endless talk, and I have to stand there with a phoney grin plastered on my face.

Moe: [phoney grin plastered on face] Uh-huh.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Milhouse Van Houten: [to Lisa after she ruins Millhouse's new Relationship] You don't want me to be with you. You don't want me to be with somebody else. How miserable do have to be before your happy?

[Starts sobbing]

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

Contribute to This Page