Homer Simpson: That's it, boy! I'm eating your yogurt!
Marge Simpson: You ate his yogurt in the car.
Homer Simpson: He didn't know that.
Homer Simpson: Stupid boy. All you do is cost me money. Money I could be wasting.
Bart Simpson: That's Angry Dad, the semi-autobiographical web cartoon I created.
Homer Simpson: I legally forced him to say "semi".
Homer Simpson: My little Roman Polanski.
Marge Simpson: Homer!
Homer Simpson: What? What's wrong with being Roman Polanski?
[Marge whispers in his ear]
Homer Simpson: He what? You monster!
Lisa Simpson: Your film's not all bad. If you cut out the parts that don't work, it could make a great short film.
Bart Simpson: A short film?
Lisa Simpson: Many directors, like Wes Anderson, Frank Tashlin and Tim Burton, started out with short films.
Bart Simpson: Name one more.
Lisa Simpson: Taylor Hackford.
Bart Simpson: I don't know who that is, but I'm convinced!
Bart Simpson: This is insane! He didn't show up for work, he bad-mouthed the movie on Jimmy Fallon, and now he's hogging all the credit.
Marge Simpson: Don't worry, sweetie. It's the begining of a ridiculously long series of awards shows. You'll have your chance to say crazy things.
Halle Berry: And the winner is... not going to be announced until we see a lengthy clip from each short.
Lisa Simpson: Good luck, Mr. Park. There's no shame in losing to you.
Nick Park: Good luck to you too, Lisa. You're too kind.
[They shake hands; Nick's fingers come off in Lisa's hand]
Lisa Simpson: Eew!
Nick Park: No worries. I just stick them back on. I'm more clay than man now.
Homer Simpson: Don't worry, son. Everyone makes mistakes. Yours is just public and expensive.
Russell Brand: It's nice to see all my friends from before I went to rehab. I'm just kidding, of course. None of you are my friends.
Bart Simpson: Angry Dad is nominated for an Oscar for Best Animated Short? I'm going to the Oscars! Not as a seat filler! I'm getting a gift basket! And I won't declare it!
Homer Simpson: Bart! It's the middle of Awards season. Who the hell is calling you at three in the morning?
Bart Simpson: Uh, no one. Wrong number.
Homer Simpson: If I find out it's the right number, you're in big trouble.