Frankie Heck: What is the perfect American family? Who knows exactly?
Frankie Heck: There's a kid in Japan who would love to come to Indiana.
Axl Heck: Why?
Mike Heck: A foreign exchange kid? I don't know, Frankie. We have enough trouble paying attention to the kids we have.
Sue Heck: Do we get to exchange someone? 'Cause I vote for Axl.
Brick Heck: I'm in. This is way better than the dog you wouldn't let me get. Can we name him Rex?
Sue Heck: God, this is so exciting. We're actually in the international section of the airport. Those people over there just got off the plane from Toronto... Canada.
Frankie Heck: I wanted a cultural exchange, and instead I get another sullen teen. I mean, what's with his parents sending him over here? I would never saddle some poor Japanese family with Axl.
Mike Heck: What is with you? You've been nuts ever since he got here. I knew this was a mistake, but, no, you just had to have this kid.
Brick Heck: [worriedly] Are you talking about me?
Mike Heck: No. Once we knew you were coming, we were happy about it.
Frankie Heck: Well, congratulations, Takayuki. You wanted to see America? You're seeing it. This is an American family. Yeah, we yell and fight, we eat bad food, we watch too much TV, and we bribe our kids.
Brick Heck: Not all of them.
Frankie Heck: Give it a rest, Brick.