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I am a person who juggles my many music commitments with some free
time, which I use to watch movies and listen to music. Save a few
tolerable ones, a lot of the SyFy movies are terrible. Camel Spiders is
no exception, in fact it is one of SyFy's very worst.
As bad as Titanic II, Mega Piranha, 2010: Moby Dick, Battle of Los Angeles and Quantum Apocalypse are, and they are, awful even, Camel Spiders makes them award-worthy in comparison.
To begin criticising Camel Spiders would be difficult as there is so much wrong. Let's start with how the film is made, Camel Spiders is one of the cheapest looking of all the SyFy movies right down from the slapdash filming to the gimmicky way the gore and such is used.
Camel Spiders completely fails in the script and story too. The script contains some of the worst dialogue I've heard, it was all very forced and cliché-ridden. The story isn't engaging in the least, it was to me a silly premise anyway, but the story itself was bland and predictable with too much time wasted on some of the least interesting story ideas of the movie.
The characters I felt indifferent too, they are annoying and underdeveloped and the camel spiders of the title are not menacing at all and laughable in their design. The direction is sloppy, the soundtrack is forgettable, the sound effects sound distorted and are misplaced and the pace is inconsistent with both rushed and pedestrian moments. And need I mention how wooden across the board the acting was? Overall, a terrible movie and one of SyFy's bottom-of-the-barrel type movies. 0/10 Bethany Cox
Why, why why why do you people keep making these movies? Who is stupid
enough to fund these movies? The Syfi or however they spell the name
now is well known to have the worst of the worst movies. But this, this
movie takes the whole cake. Every single one of the actors in this
movie are just, it just leaves me completely speechless about how bad
they are. I normally don't write scathing reviews but I was compelled
to write this after watching just 15 minutes of this below Z grade
The concept that SF channel movies use are neither scary or intelligent or even entertaining. Camel spiders are the most venomous spiders in the world and that it will kill you almost instantly? Really? I mean really? Just how stupid was the person who came up with this story? Do you not know how to use the internet? Can you even read? Did your mom always tell you that you were special? That is all I'm gonna say on that matter.
The acting. Oh god the acting... I can say with 110% confidence and actuality that this is the worst acting I have ever seen in my entire life here on this planet. Oh, and the dialog. Who came up with the dialog??? Embarrassing... I will point out that the one young blonde chick is the worst actress I have ever seen. I take that back, I just cannot in good faith even call her an actress. Girl, you need to re-think your career and make some DRASTIC changes. I would suggest pornography as you are hot but then again that requires at least SOME acting.
I am a very nice person and rarely bash people in real life and in the internet. But watching just 15mins of this thing made me so freaking angry and filled me with hate that I just had to write this. I want to warn others that this movie will seriously anger you.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
This actually makes Titanic 2 look like cinematic genius with Star Wars level special effects. Did not really get the last 1 minute of the movie, I actually thought the adverts had started rather then the film still playing. There are a few issues with aiming in the air to kill spiders on the floor. Also parts of the film are completely disregarded when the US Army come and save the day forgetting about the four other locations where the spiders are happily carrying on about their business. As an avid watcher of rubbish movies this is now my number one rubbish movie if I could have I would give it less then 1 I would. I cant believe that some of these actors had genuine careers prior to this movie or after it. I believe that I could direct the same quality of movie in my bathroom with a spider that comes up from the plughole.
This movie should be avoided - the fact that people made some effort
with such a terrible movie is really regrettable - don't compound that
by watching it!
However if you are going to persist with it make sure you have something else to do at the same time.
The filming is poor, so much so that blood from the spiders splashes on the camera lens on occasion, the special effects - i.e. the spiders - are very poor and the acting is to be honest a waste of the actors' time. They will hopefully get better acting roles in the future.
For any prospective viewers, if you don't like the fun of looking at really poorly made movies, then maybe go for a walk ... just avoid the killer spiders!
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Camel Spiders starts in Afghanistan where some US soldiers are fighting
enemy forces when a swarm of large Camel Spiders join the fight, a US
soldier is killed in battle & one of the baby Camel Spiders crawls into
his mouth. Captain Sturges (Brian Krause) & Private Reba (GiGi Erneta)
are tasked with escorting the body back home, while driving through
Arizona the truck they are driving is involved in an accident & the
simple wooden coffin breaks open releasing dozens of Camel Spiders that
crawl off into the desert. The Camel Spider grow to huge proportion's &
multiply very quickly, soon a small town is overrun with the vicious
flesh eating creatures that outnumber their human prey. Sturges, Reba &
a small group of locals from a diner that came under attack manage to
make it to an abandoned factory & barricade themselves inside but with
hundreds of Camel Spiders outside trying to get in they have to work
together to find a way to escape alive...
Co-written, executive produced & directed by Jim Wynorski under his regular Jay Andrews alias one has to say that I went into Camel Spiders expecting the absolute worst & while my expectations weren't exactly blown away Camel Spidres turned out a little better than I had predicted. Although Camel Spiders looks & feels like a SyFy Cahannel creature feature & will undoubtedly be shown on the channel it is in fact an independent production from Roger Corman's studio, generally I hate anything Wynorski does so the fact that Camel Spiders wasn't the worst film I've seen since I last watched one of his films came as somewhat of a surprise. The script is standard creature feature fare with little going for it, sure it starts off briskly enough with the title monsters making an appearance a few minutes into the film but there's absolutely no explanation as to why they are so big even if Camel Spiders are real creatures found in the deserts of the Middle East. Once the script hits the US & the town, which consists of one hotel & a café, comes under siege the film has my interest but once the various survivors reach the abandoned factory & hide there the film takes a nosedive & there's lots of boring exposition & the Camel Spiders themselves are a bit underused, they just don't seem to do much apart from crawl around & jump on people. Don't get me wrong, I didn't expect them to build a house or learn to drive a car but they feel wasted. The film has two main groups of survivors, the army people & the townsfolk from the café & some teenage kids from college stuck inside a house & the narrative shifts back & forth between them although both parties find themselves in exactly the same position so it's rather samey. The script also feels unfinished, we keep cutting to two more soldiers in a truck looking for Sturges but they just disappear until the end & then only seen standing in the background while we never find out what happens to the two girls in the red car. Utterly predictable, a bit boring & populated by dumb people (why does that kid wander off on her own despite her knowing that giant killer Spiders are infesting the place? Why do they not drive the truck right up to the factory at the end? Why park it a few hundred feet away from the door?) Camel Spiders is standard creature feature fare that isn't terrible but isn't exactly good either.
One thing that Camel Spidres has going for it is that the CGI computer effects are better than usual, sure they aren't brilliant but the Camel Spiders are reasonably detailed & move convincingly enough. They look quite cool too, they probably resemble Scorpions more than Spiders to be honest. The lack of blood or gore is disappointing, there's a bit of blood splatter as the Camel Spiders bite people but otherwise most SyFy Channel creature features have far more blood & gore than on show here. Not much to look at Camel Spiders is reasonably well made & is a virtual masterpiece compared to what Wynorski usually churns out.
With a supposed budget of $500,000 this was apparently shot in Feburary in 2010 but remained unreleased until late 2011, filmed in Indiana the low budget doesn't help but the makers did what they could with limited funds I suppose. The acting isn't great, Krause is alright as the hero while C. Thomas Howell really will appear in anything won't he?
Camel Spiders was better than I expected but that's no recommendation on it's own, Camel Spiders has better than usual CGI effects but a clichéd & empty story sink it. Passable by creature feature standards but only just, don't rush to watch it.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Tawlite sums it up nicely, I watched this the whole way through (not
sure how) and I really wish I'd eaten a bowl of glass instead. On top
of the criticism that's already been dished out I have a few more
points. To start off with when the SUV hits the truck there's no damage
to either vehicle, in fact there's only a small amount of smoke coming
from the road. I also noted that when the Sheriff escorts the 'damaged
truck' back to town there's no mention of the dead joy rider or his
vehicle(possibly appears in a later scene parked at the café?). The
1970's army vehicle I'm pretty sure is used by 2 completely different
pairs of troops. I'm really confused by the little girl who runs to
find her dad...he's quite obviously with the group of 'heroes' outside
but she runs downstairs anyway shouting his name. When she's
unfortunately rescued I'm not sure why but the soldier runs with her to
the back on the warehouse into a small shed with no glass and claims
they're trapped...if she'd just turned around they'd been fine! Why
does she drop her gun and carry the girl? It actually slows them down
more. The ending is just terrible, high 5's all round for blowing up a
warehouse...badly and then don't send in a team to wipe out any
potential remaining spiders...just assume all is well. -10/10 for the
CGI, choppers & jets are out of scale superbly, don't even think jets
should fly as low as they did when blowing up a target but then I'm no
expert. The spiders also change size dramatically from scene to scene
and for some reason everyone loses signal partly through a phone call.
Oh and tawlite, I also noticed the 'I got a photo of that spider back
there', cue a professional dissection photo of a camel spider. Amazing
encyclopedia on his phone, I want one just like that!
Anyway rant over, do not watch this abomination......ever!
"Camel Spiders" was so bad it was actually worth watching just for the
laughs. This movie has everything you could possibly want from a cheesy
horror movie - bad CGI effects, laughable plot, incoherent story,
unlimited ammunition, screaming spiders, bad acting, and much, much
The story in "Camel Spiders" is about soldiers in the desert somewhere in the Middle East, fighting someone, when a group of big spiders show up. A soldier is killed, and when shipped home, two fairly small spiders sneak into the box containing the corpse of the soldier. Then back in the US, the box is opened because of an accident, and spiders emerge to wreak havoc on the local residents.
Fairly average storyline that borrows heavily from "Arachnophobia" and "Eight Legged Freaks".
There were two spiders in the box, but suddenly there are hundreds of them in the area in the US, ranging from the size of a man's fist to a coffee table. How did they get to be that numerous and that big so fast? That incoherency in the story was just hilarious. Moving on though, while shooting at the marauding spiders, the people had endless amounts of ammo and never reloaded their weapons. And to make matters worse, most of the time people were not even shooting downward where the spiders were, but they were shooting in hip or chest level, that was just hilarious. And the camel spiders were constantly screaming. Yeah, sure, why not?
"Camel Spiders" was one of the worse spider movies that I have seen, right up there with the likes of "In the Spider's Web" and "Spiders 2". However, the movie is so stupid and cheesy that it is actually worth sitting through it, just to see what bad thing is waiting around the next corner. Just make sure you are sitting in an upright position while watching the movie, I was on a couch and I dozed off once or twice.
I had relatively low expectations going into this one (what do you
expect with a $500k budget?!), so I'm happy to report I was pleasantly
surprised to find a low-budget, fun, monster movie buried in this
Granted, there are no groundbreaking special effects or acting, but the writing and story was not nearly as bad (i.e. boring) as some of the other current movies in this league. Paraphrasing, my favorite line: "If sarcasm worked as well as bullets on these bugs, I'd contact you first." My biggest complaint is with the bad CGI effects. Money should have been better spent on spider puppets and buckets of fake blood. The CGI looks like something 15-year-olds create for a YouTube video.
In the spirit of Tremors and Eight Legged Freaks, Camel Spiders should be remembered has one of the better low-budget, Sci-Fi Channel feature.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Camel Spiders (another syfy offering) crosses all the boundaries of
credibility and credulity. I don't think the creators of this movie
even cared about detail and plot.
Starts off in Iraq, or the Arizona desert, who knows who cares, the writers obviously didn't! After a gun fight between the Americans and the enemy, an American soldier gets shot and dies, then the camel spiders come and drag off all the enemy fighters as it is about lunch time. The Americans don't see this at all, and are puzzled as to where the enemy have gone. They pack the dead soldier into a temporary coffin and three of the camel spiders hitchhike into the coffin. No scene change, same desert scene, and we see a sheriff chasing a joy rider, who then crashes into the Army truck carrying the coffin, and about dozen camel spiders crawl out of the coffin and into the desert, 10 minutes later entire Arizona desert swarming with thousands of camel spiders attacking anyone who happens to be in the area.
Students out and about with their professor get chased down by a giant camel spider, the giant spider jumps on the face of one of the students and chomps it off, others run and find an empty house, they break in but none can get a signal on their phones. One of the students says he took a photo of the camel spider that was chasing them, he shows them a stock photo of the camel spider chasing them, he shows them a picture on his phone of a camel spider posing flat on a black background, not a shot of it leaping through air, or munching on his mate's face, but actually a plate picture from a book!!!!!! So the kid says I can identify it through my phones encyclopaedia !!!!!!!! - Tahdah!! 1 second later he tells them it is a Camel spider native to Iraq!!!!!!!!!!!! From then on in, it gets much worse, you wonder is that possible and with this movie, yes it is not only possible but an unpleasant reality. Next follows half an hour of boring dialogue as several people from the local diner, Sheriff and Army crew hide out in a building and do various things like chat, flirt, sleep and play the harmonica, with occasional hysterics from a couple of irritating females, one who screams in clichés 'We're all going to die!!!' etc.
CGI is usual SyFy fodder. Acting dreadful. Dialogue: awful. Screech factor unbearable. Yawn factor high! A bad movie!
So, I had mistakenly mixed a batch of Mio energy drink instead of just
normal, I don't know, fruit punch or whatever. So, I was up all night.
You know you've hit rock bottom when you're watching Syfy at 3:00 in
the morning. But there I was, thinking to myself, "Self, I was in Iraq.
I've seen lots of camel spiders. Let's give this movie a look." Oh my,
where to begin? So many uniform deficiencies and tactical shortcomings,
it drove this Army lifer crazy. There's a term called 'flagging' in
which one Soldier points his weapon at another. I found myself saying,
"Flag. Flag. Flag Flag. Flagflagflagflagflagflagfl.... Oh why am I
bothering?" Staff Sergeant whatshernameasthoughitmatters' weapon has
had the barrel removed in some shots, but not in others. Sometimes she
sports mirrored sunglasses (Not authorized in uniform, by the way.)
sometimes they're black aviators. In one shot, the crew didn't even
care enough to position themselves so as not to appear in the
reflection of her mirrored glasses.
Camel spiders aren't particularly aggressive. The mostly want to be left alone. The idea of them attacking is ludicrous.
The special effects were roughly on par with Tremors 3, that is, about what you could render with a processing power of a Zune.
The acting was elementary... in that it was about what you'd expect from elementary school students.
They didn't seem to bother constructing any sets, just used some abandoned buildings.
I sat through Birdemic. The un-rifftrax version of Birdemic. At least in that movie we got to see Whitney Moore in her underwear, a sight worth the cost of admission, let me tell you. We don't even get that in this movie.
The muzzle blasts were obviously added in post.
Well, enough of all this. This movie isn't even bad in a funny way in the manner of Birdemic. These people seemed to be actually aiming for high drama. Oh boy do they miss. This is a movie that you have on while you're doing something else... in another room.... wearing headphones.
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