Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: [to Mrs. Crawley when they realize Mary will not take Matthew despite the fact that he remains the heir to the title and estate] Your quarrel is with my daughter, Rosamund, and not with me. So put that in your pipe and smoke it.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: I know those men of the moral high ground - if she won't say yes when he might be poor, he won't want her when he *will* be rich.
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: My lords, ladies, and gentlemen. May I have your attention, please? Because I very much regret to announce that we are now at war with Germany.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: We can't have him assassinated. I suppose.
Lady Sybil Crawley: No one ever learned anything from a governess except for French, and how to curtsy.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: What more do you need?
Charles Carson: [picks up phone] Hello. This is Mr. Carson the butler of Downton Abbey. To whom am I speaking?
Charles Carson: I'm not shouting! Who are you?
Charles Carson: Ah, Mrs. Gaunt.
Operator: And what number do you want?
Charles Carson: No, I don't want to place a call.
Operator: What were you doing, then?
Charles Carson: I was practicing my answer.
Charles Carson: Well, I daresay a lot of the things you do sound stupid to other people!
Lady Mary Crawley: I hope you know that really smart people sleep in separate rooms.
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: I always keep the dressing room bed made up so I at least pretend we sleep in separate rooms. Isn't that enough?
Lady Mary Crawley: No. Never mind.
Lady Rosamund Painswick: There's nothing like an English summer, is there?
Lady Mary Crawley: Except an English winter.
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: Pregnant?
Cora, Countess of Grantham: You needn't be quite so shocked.
Mrs. Bird: [when Matthew asks her to help in Lord Grantham's kitchen as cook while Mrs. Patmore is away getting eye surgery] I'm surprised Lord Grantham knows that I exist, sir.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: First, electricity, now telephones. Sometimes I feel as if I were living in an H.G. Wells novel.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: [to Cora] I come in peace.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: I'm afraid your meddling has cost Mary the only decent offer she'll ever get.
Lady Rosamund Painswick: I'm sorry, Mama, but you know me. I have to say what I think.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Why? Nobody else does.
Cora, Countess of Grantham: [to the Countess, whose maid has given notice] Oh, poor thing! Is there anything worse than losing one's maid?
Dr. Clarkson: [referring to Cora's pregnancy] It's not unusual, Lord Vis...
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: Unusual? It's *biblical*!
John Bates: [to the dining collective] War is on the way.
William Mason: Then we'll have to face it, as bravely as we can.
Thomas Barrow: Thank you, Mr. Cannon Fodder.
Thomas Barrow: Ah, there'll be a war all right - it's time to prepare for it.
Anna Smith: The country, do you mean?
Thomas Barrow: No, me.
John Bates: [to Thomas] You never disappoint.
Mrs. Patmore: [after the phone rings] Oh my lord, listen to that - it's like the cry of a banshee.