Lady Mary Crawley: You should learn to forget what I say. I know I do.
Sarah O'Brien: [about Mrs. Hughes meeting an old flame] If she's got a boyfriend, I'm a giraffe.
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: If I'd made my own fortune and bought Downton for myself it should be yours without question, but I did not. My fortune is the work of others who laboured to build a great dynasty. Do I have the right to destroy their work or impoverish that dynasty? I am a custodian, my dear, not an owner. I must strive to be worthy of the task I've been set. If I could take Mama's money out of the estates Downton would have to be sold to pay for it. Is that what you want? To see Matthew a landless peer with a title, but no means to pay for it?
Daisy Robinson: Thomas is lovely in every way. He's funny and handsome, and he's got such lovely teeth.
Mrs. Patmore: He's not for you, Daisy.
Daisy Robinson: 'Course not. He's too good for me, I know that.
Mrs. Patmore: No. He's not too good.
Daisy Robinson: What then?
Mrs. Patmore: He's not the boy for you, and you're not the girl for him.
Daisy Robinson: Isn't that what I just said? And why would he be when he's seen and done so much and I've been nowhere and done nothing?
Mrs. Patmore: Perhaps Thomas has seen and done more than is good for him.
[seeing that she's still not getting it]
Mrs. Patmore: He's not a ladies' man.
Daisy Robinson: [uncertainly] But innit a blessed relief?
Mrs. Patmore: Daisy, Thomas is a troubled soul.
Daisy Robinson: I don't know what you mean, Mrs Patmore.
Mrs. Patmore: [giving up] Oh, nothing. I don't mean anything.
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: Won't you miss Ireland?
Tom Branson: Ireland, yes. But not the job. The mistress was a nice lady, but she only had one car and she wouldn't let me drive it over 20 miles an hour. So it was a bit... well, boring, so to speak.
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: [about Branson, the new chauffeur] He seems a bright spark after poor old Taylor. And to think Taylor's gone off to run a tea shop. I cannot feel it will make for a very restful retirement, can you?
Charlie Carson: I would rather be put to death, m'Lord.
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: ...Quite so.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: [talking of how to introduce Mary to more society] How about some house parties?
Cora Crawley, Countess of Grantham: She's been asked to one next month by Lady Anne McNair.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Most terrible idea; she doesn't know anyone under a hundred.
Cora Crawley, Countess of Grantham: I might send her over to visit my aunt; she could get to know New York.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Oh, I don't think things are quite that desperate.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: One can't go to pieces at the death of every foreigner; we'd all be in a state of collapse whenever we opened a newspaper.
Mrs. Hughes: I've sent Anna to bed with a cold, so I need you to manage the young ladies.
Sarah O'Brien: What, all three of them? I'm not an octopus. Why can't Gwen do it?
Mrs. Hughes: Because she is not a lady's maid.
Sarah O'Brien: *I* am not a slave!
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Good heavens, what am I sitting on?
Matthew Crawley: A swivel... chair.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Oh, another modern brainwave?
Matthew Crawley: Not very modern; they were invented by Thomas Jefferson.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Why does every day involve a fight with an American?
Matthew Crawley: The question is, what do I say to Cousin Violet?
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: Oh, don't worry about that. I can handle her.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: [Violet enters the room] Really? Well if you can, you must have learned to *very* recently.
Lady Mary Crawley: Do you know where His Lordship is?
Charlie Carson: Gone to bed, m'Lady. He felt tired after he put Lady Grantham into the car.
Lady Mary Crawley: I bet he did.
Lady Sybil Crawley: [Miss O'Brien doing Lady Sibyl's hair] Thank you, O'Brien, I'll manage now.
Lady Sybil Crawley: [to herself] Odious woman.
Lady Mary Crawley: The only one who never sticks up for me in all this is you. Why is that?
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: You are my darling daughter and I love you, hard as it is for an Englishman to say the words.
Joseph Molesley: I've got Erysipelas, Your Ladyship.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Ooh... oh, I am sorry.
Dr. Clarkson: Mrs. Crawley tells me she's recommended nitrate of silver and tincture of steel.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Well, is she making a suit of armor?
Lady Sybil Crawley: I don't know why we bother with corsets. Men don't wear them, and they look perfectly normal in their clothes.
Lady Mary Crawley: Not all of them.
Anna Smith: I love you, Mr. Bates. I know it's not ladylike to say it, but I'm not a lady, and I don't pretend to be.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: [to Mrs. Crawley] You are quite wonderful, the way you see room for improvement wherever you look. I never knew such reforming zeal.
Isobel Crawley: I take that as a compliment.
[turns and walks in the other direction]
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: [laughs] I must have said it wrong.