Roger Sterling: Well, I gotta go learn a bunch of people's names before I fire them.
Roger Sterling: We know there's a black spot on the X-ray - you don't have to keep tapping your finger on it.
Don Draper: Recently my advertising agency ended a long relationship with Lucky Strike cigarettes, and I'm relieved. For over 25 years we devoted ourselves to peddling a product for which good work is irrelevant, because people can't stop themselves from buying it. A product that never improves, that causes illness, and makes people unhappy. But there was money in it. A lot of money. In fact, our entire business depended on it. We knew it wasn't good for us, but we couldn't stop. And then, when Lucky Strike moved their business elsewhere, I realized, here was my chance to be someone who could sleep at night, because I know what I'm selling doesn't kill my customers. So as of today, Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce will no longer take tobacco accounts. We know it's going to be hard. If you're interested in cigarette work, here's a list of agencies that do it well: BBDO, Leo Burnett, McCann Erickson, Cutler Gleason & Chaough, and Benton & Bowles. As for us, we welcome all other business because we're certain that our best work is still ahead of us.
Pete Campbell: [to Don Draper, after Draper has authored a one-page ad in the New York Times with the headline "Why I'm Quitting Tobacco"] You did what was best for you because you're impatient and childish. You had a tantrum on a full page in the New York Times.
Bertram Cooper: Keep joking. You're cynical and craven. Tobacco put a roof over your head, and it fed your children.
Don Draper: And then it killed my business.
Don Draper: You haven't said anything about the letter.
Peggy Olson: I thought you didn't go in for those kinds of shenanigans.
Geoffrey Atherton: You are a certain kind of girl, and tobacco is your ideal boyfriend.
Don Draper: Can you get us a date?
Geoffrey Atherton: Philip Morris is introducing a new brand for young women, hoping to have it on the market in eighteen months, and they'd like a new agency on it from the ground floor.
Roger Sterling: How much is it?
Geoffrey Atherton: Close to five million dollars. It's a start.
Bertram Cooper: Wonderful.
Pete Campbell: And what stage of the process has your influence bought us?
Geoffrey Atherton: A meeting. No-one else has one.
Bertram Cooper: We will listen more than we will speak.
Geoffrey Atherton: Like a good girlfriend.
Ted Chaough: [speaking in affected Boston accent] Is this here, ah, Don Draper?
Don Draper: Yes...
Ted Chaough: This is Bobby Kennedy. How are you this lovely morning?
Don Draper: I'm well. Thank you, Senator.
Ted Chaough: Bobby, please. Listen, I just want to say that I admire your, ah, fortitude and vigor and standing up to what I consider to be one of the, er, ah, great menaces to this civilization as we know it.
Don Draper: That's very flattering.
Ted Chaough: I have one question. Does your company represent Secor Laxatives?
Don Draper: Yes. Yes, we do.
Ted Chaough: Well, are you gonna be writing anything against them? Because I want to make it clear that I am, er, ah, firmly anti-laxative.
Don Draper: [overhears laughter on the other end] Who the hell is this?
Ted Chaough: [laughs] Teddy Chaough! Thanks for sticking my name in there with the big boys. A full-page ad in The Times. What did that run you?
Don Draper: [hangs up] A little mix-up there. That was Eunice Kennedy.
Don Draper: We're going to sit at our desks and keep typing while the walls fall down around us because we're creative - the least important, most important thing there is.
Raymond Geiger: I've been working a long time. I know that, despite the public's imagination, food is cyclical. I don't mean seasonal, but I mean, literally, there's a time for beans and there's a time for ketchup. But I don't have that time, so I want to force the issue. You know, something inventive. Humour worked with the pickles, but pickles are funny. The way beans are funny, we can't use that. We have to fight it, actually.